


Lily

by riverdancee



Category: VIXX
Genre: Angst, Depictions of Cutting, Experiments, Future AU, Guns, Gunshot Wounds, Knife Wounds, M/M, MAINLY TAEKBIN, Mental Health Issues, Minor Character Death, Romance, Slow Build, War AU, because i love that too, because i love them, depictions of blood, doctor!hyuk, feat gugudan - Freeform, gugudan ships, king!jaehwan, leobin - Freeform, soldier!hakyeon, soldier!hongbin, soldier!wonshik, some serious topics, taekbin, this one kissy kissy scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-20
Updated: 2017-04-20
Packaged: 2018-10-21 03:56:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 50,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10677192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/riverdancee/pseuds/riverdancee
Summary: Hongbin's assigned to deliver Taekwoon to the king, which proves difficult in times like these.





	1. prologue: boat

**Author's Note:**

> i've returned with a brand new fic about the exact same ship ha ha ha hah a ilovetaekbin. it took me about five months to write. if you're curious as to why i don't post until the story is complete, it's because i don't like to post unfinished work. Personal preference.  
> This fic WILL be posted on aff under the username byuulbit (which is still very much me).  
> This fic in no way reflects my opinions on either of the two countries this story is about. This is set in the FUTURE. These countries are NOT like this today. I chose these countries because it was simply a geological decision and VIXX happens to be from Korea.
> 
> much much much much much MUCH thanks to the lovely gaurangi for reading my mess all the time and giving me solid reviews and crazy commentary LOVE YOU BBY.
> 
> edit: changed my pseud! like this one much better. thanks!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> King Jaehwan sees something he likes

Prologue

Jaehwan looks over the beaches of his country in the tree grove. Lieutenant Kim, his favorite, stands behind him. Both of them stare at the boat coming towards the shore at this late hour of the night.

“My king,” Lieutenant Kim says, “what should we do about this boat? Refugees from Japan are not allowed to be on Korean soil.”

Jaehwan glares over his shoulder. “What did you say, Wonshik-ie?”

He sees Lieutenant Kim’s eyes widen, realizing his mistake, and he bows. “My apologies. I meant to say--”

“My dear Wonshik,” he interrupts. “It’s been two years since I renamed this country Nari-Seung.” He plucks a lily flower out from a bush. “Why are you the only one still calling it Korea? What Korean soil?” He goes back to staring at the boat, who is only a couple of minutes away from shore now. “Why don’t you be proper and call the enemy by their real name too? They are no longer Japan.  _ Tsukaeru _ . May you repeat it for me?”

“Tsukaeru.”

“Good. Now, as for these refugees, I will tell you what to do once they reach the beach. Do not call for backup.”

The boat reaches shore and the passengers begin to unload. There are three people on the boat. Jaehwan smiles at them, laughing because they are taking their sweet time. He can’t hear them, but he knows they are talking to each other. How bad can it be in Tsukaeru? Is Nari-Seung really a paradise?

“King Jaehwan, they are escaping.”

“Allow me to get a better look, Wonshik-ie.”

As the three people get closer to the tree grove, Jaehwan raises binoculars to his eyes and zooms in. They widen when he spots a familiar face. He immediately recognizes him and his heart begins to go up in flames. Blue eyes, black hair, freckles that scatter below his eyes. A tall man with dark clothes.

“Lieutenant Kim,” the king calls.

“Yes, my king?”

“Stand down. Do not go after these people.” He lowers his binoculars, trying to hide the shaking going through his body.

“E-Excuse me?” Lieutenant Kim never thought he’d hear those words come out of his mouth. “King Jaehwan, this is against the law  _ you _ made. How can you let these people just roam free on our soil? We kill anybody on the spot who dares to come in.”

“ _ Our  _ soil?” Jaehwan laughs and turns to face him. His face is stoic. “Your third mistake today! If my favorite lieutenant is  _ this _ bad, then I don’t even want to talk to the others. It is not  _ your _ soil, it is not  _ our _ soil, it is  _ my _ soil. My father’s and my soil.”

Jaehwan walks away from the beach, and when he is at Lieutenant Kim’s shoulder, he says, “Send me your best soldier. I have a job for them.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaaaaaand we start off in the next chapter!


	2. part 1: the mission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hongbin's not liking this mission.

Part 1

 

_ Splat! _

Hongbin looks down at where his foot had landed and groans. He takes his foot out of the puddle of blood and wipes it on the ground.

He looks at the body right next to the puddle and sees his comrade, whose head is the source of the blood. His blue jacket is brown now and the shoulders are deep red. He sighs, crouches down, and closes his eyes with two fingers.

“Thank you for your service,” he whispers.

He gets back up and walks towards camp, throwing his gun strap onto his shoulder. He looks around at the battlefield, noticing something that makes his heart a little lighter. There aren’t as many casualties as a couple days before. He does the job of counting the dead on his side.

Hongbin is used to seeing dead bodies now. It doesn’t freak him out anymore--it’s pretty normal. It’s not even his first time stepping in blood; he tries to avoid it when he can though. Stepping in blood is nothing compared to shedding some.

When he gets to camp, he’s greeted by Hakyeon putting his arm around his shoulders. “How’d you do today?” Hakyeon asks.

His coat is cleaner than his. Much more blue and it kind of makes him upset. What’d he even  _ do  _ to have a clean coat?

“Better than you,” he replies.

Hakyeon glares at him and Hongbin laughs a little. “You don’t have to show off.”

Hongbin smirks and wipes it right off when he sees Lieutenant Kim come up to him. Hakyeon’s arm slips off him and they both stand up straight. In unison, they both bow and salute. Lieutenant Kim gives a little nod and they put their arms down.

“How many dead today, Lee?” he asks.

“Ten men were lost today,” he answers.

“How many dead on the enemy side, Cha?”

“I-I counted over fifty, sir,” he bluntly says.

“Do you know how many of those you killed, Cha?”

Hongbin can feel him shake next to him.

“I-I don’t count, I just aim and shoot, sir.”

Lieutenant Kim scrunches up his lips and nods his head. “And you, Lee?”

Hongbin pretends he’s counting in his head.  _ Dammit, Cha. Always screwing me over. _ “I just aim and shoot, sir,” he copies. Hopefully it came out as a good lie.

The lieutenant laughs. “Very well. Both of you should have counted.”

“Sorry,” both men say in unison.

“Lee, meet me in my tent in thirty. Understand?”

“Yes, sir.”

Lieutenant Kim walks off and Hongbin nudges Hakyeon on his side. “I tell the truth!” Hakyeon claims, raising his hands up in defense. “I don’t count how many I kill! Am I supposed to?"

“If you want to get on his good side, yeah!” Hongbin whispers.

“Do  _ you _ count? How many did you kill today?”

“ _ Of course _ I count. I killed seventeen with this.” He pats the butt of his gun.

Hakyeon goes back to glaring at him. “I can’t believe you waste your time counting how many dead Japanese there are.”

“One, they are the  _ Tsukaerus _ , and two, then maybe  _ you _ should start counting how many dead there are on our side. That’s not a waste of time.”

Hongbin likes to be precise. He’s  _ always _ been like that. It’s just his thing--always clean, always precise, always as perfect as possible. Counting bodies helps him continue to be precise when he can’t. Hogbin can’t always be clean, and  _ hell _ , nothing in this wretched place could be anywhere near perfect. But he can be precise.

Hongbin enters his tent and throws his gun down on the ground. He sits on his cot and stares at the wall across him. He wants to write to his family. For some odd reason, it seems like he hasn’t talked to them in two weeks, but in reality, he hasn’t talked to them since the war started. He’s sure they’re alive--joining the army meant your family was protected. He decides not to write to them. They don’t need to know about how the war is going, they know damn well how it’s going. They don’t need the details of the bed. There’s nothing to tell them except that the nation’s heroes are dying. He doubts they want minor details, like how they died or what position they were. Do they need to know how many people he’s killed? He can give them a count.

He decides against it. He doesn’t have the energy to even pick up a pencil, much less write what he’s feeling. What  _ is  _ he feeling?

Thirty minutes pass and Hongbin goes towards the lieutenant’s tent. Before entering, he wipes off the soles of his boots as best as he can.

He enters the tent, ducking down to fit in and taking a step forward. It’s a big tent--the size of a normal camping tent, but times five. In it fits a desk, stacks of paper covering the wood. Two chairs are in front of it, ready for any meeting that could take place. A screen separates the meeting place from what he believes is the lieutenant’s living space. Why couldn’t everyone have a tent like this? It’s not like it’s difficult to set it up. A certain doctor invented the ability to press a button and easily set up your tent with all your belongings still present. A special advancement available to soldiers only.

Lieutenant Kim glares up at him through his glasses. He’s slumped over the desk, the entire backside of the velvet chair being exposed. Why is his tent so...elegant?

They stare at each other, not saying a word, until Lieutenant Kim asks, “How many did you kill today?”

Hongbin continues to stare. He can’t move. The chairs are open,  _ waiting _ for him to sit his ass down, but he feels stuck. He respects the lieutenant, and he hasn’t  _ asked _ him to sit, so maybe he should respect his wishes too.

He should open his mouth.  _ Say  _ something, even a “good evening” or, even better, an  _ answer _ .

“I know you were saving Cha’s ass. When don’t you?” Lieutenant Kim cuts the stare by rolling his eyes and sitting back, crossing his arms in the process.

“I killed seventeen,” he sputters.

Lieutenant Kim bites his bottom lip, then laughs. His shoulders shake. “How many have you killed your whole career?”

“Roughly three hundred.”

The lieutenant laughs some more. Hongbin finds nothing funny.

“Do you find joy in killing the enemy, Hongbin?”

“I find joy in serving my country,” he says. He isn’t lying. “Nothing more."

“We’ll see about that.” Lieutenant Kim takes out a piece of paper within the stacks and holds it out to Hongbin. He takes quick strides and grabs it. It’s a map of the area, including the town nearby, the marketplace, camp, and the king’s castle. “Can you guess what place in that map needs you?”

The town nearby is in the Lower Eastern Province, while the marketplace and castle are in the  Lower Southern Province. The camp, which they are in, is in the Middle Southern Province.

“Camp. The camp needs me.”

It was the most logical idea. The camp always needs people.

“That’s sweet, but wrong. Try again.”

Is it a trick question? Is he not needed at all? Hongbin just wants the lieutenant to tell him, but he takes a wild guess. “The marketplace.”

He shakes his head.

“The king doesn’t need me, so the town.”

“Funny, because the king needs you.”

Hongbin’s jaw drops. “ _ Excuse me? _ ”

******

Two heavily armed guards open the door to the castle, revealing a long and wide aisle between two hypostyle halls. The columns are a light blue and the walls are  _ mirrors _ . He walks on the white and gray marble flooring for what seems like hours, his hand on his gun strap at all times in case it’s just a trap.

Hongbin doesn’t know the king (does anyone?). The only thing he knows is that he declared war on Tsukaeru and that, because he is in the army, he is keeping his family safe.

He also knows that he hasn’t liked him for years. He hasn’t liked him because he’s made reckless decisions, declared war and told no one his reason, is way too secretive, and can care less about his people among other issues.

_ “Try not to be too straightforward, okay?” _

_ “I’m not straightforward, Lieutenant Kim.” _

_ “Just....just try not to be yourself?” _

_ “You want me to lie to the king?” _

_ “Act like he’s your friend. Like Hakyeon.” _

When he reaches the end, there is simply another door. A door three times the size of him, made of the same marble on the floor. He sees his reaction to the door from the corner of his eyes on the mirror. Hongbin looks around and whispers, “ _ Really? _ ”

He twists the gold handle and opens. It doesn’t even creak!

He slides in through the crack and his eyes are drawn to the red carpet rolled over the marble ground. His eyes follow the carpet and, long behold, the king sits on a black velvet throne. His white suit and platinum blonde hair stands out against it. His right leg crosses over his left, and he rests his chin in the palm of his left hand, the armrest being pressed against his elbow. His other hand fiddles around with a white lily flower. He sees that the walls are no longer mirrors, but rather blue marble--the same from the columns before.

“They did this kind of shit a long time ago,” Hongbin says, hoping that’s friendly rather than respectful. He hopes it’s a clear sign he doesn’t like him, too. “The long hallway leading to a door. That’s like, Egyptian I think. And,  _ whew _ , that was a long time ago. Not the carpet, though. Nice contemporary touch. Tradition has changed, your highness.”  

King Jaehwan glares at him with piercing eyes--he can feel it from the end of the room. “I don’t think the Egyptians did that.” He stands up, brushing his suit off. “Lieutenant Kim’s best soldier has no respect, I see. Is this how you respect your lieutenant?”

“I respect my lieutenant because he’s done great things for Korea and its people,” he spats back, “not because all he does is sit on a velvet throne and declare war on a country across the sea.” He releases a shaky breath. “And the Egyptians  _ did _ do that. Basic history.”

The king laughs. “What, did the lieutenant  _ raise _ you? You even forgot your country’s name.”

“My country’s name is Korea.”

“ _ Nari-Seung _ .”

“Nari-Seung’s people and soil and jewels and life is all Korean.”

Hongbin gives up on acting friendly.

King Jaehwan walks towards Hongbin in slow strides. He doesn’t wear a cape or crown--simply a white suit with his blonde hair slick back. He puts the lily flower in the pocket meant for handkerchiefs. “Enough of this, yes? You are here for a reason.”

Hongbin’s hand reaches for his gun, causing Jaehwan to stop in his footsteps.

“Why are my soldiers trained to grab their gun once someone approaches them?”

“I was taught to kill the enemy.”

“You’re pushing it,” Jaehwan states.  _ Maybe _ , Hongbin thinks. “I am your king and you should have at least an ounce of respect.”

“I was taught to kill the enemy,  _ your highness _ .” Hongbin fixes his statement. That should be enough respect. “Get to the point.”

“I have a job for you. Follow me.”

King Jaehwan walks to his right without Hongbin following. Will he kill him? What if he’s here to kill prisoners of war?

“Stop thinking about it. Just follow me.”

Hongbin reluctantly follows him as he pushes the wall. A portion of the wall soar above their heads, opening a room with a big, blank white wall and a curved black desk. They enter, the king’s shoes clacking against the marble floor while Hongbin takes soft steps. The wall slams back down behind them, Hongbin shuddering as the noise resonates behind him. He stays standing while the king presses his fingers to the desk. It must be touch screen, because little sound effects ring every time he presses it.  A projection of someone comes up on the wall. He has black hair and pale skin with a couple of freckles under his eyes and nose. He wears black clothing.

“This is Jung Taekwoon,” King Jaehwan says, leaning against the desk. “He is twenty-five years old and was born in Nari-Seung. His record, along with the millions of other citizens, were lost after the mass death of government officials.”

“You mean your father’s murder spree?” Hongbin sheepishly says.

The king quickly turns his head towards Hongbin, eyes somehow bloodshot.

“I’m sorry,” Hongbin apologizes, realizing he took it too far. Hongbin doesn’t like making assumptions, though he tends to do so anyways.

“You know what?” He crosses his arms. Hongbin shyly takes a step back. “If you’re going to continue being like this, I should just send you off. But I trust Wonshik enough to let you stay here, and you seem like a man of your word. Do you want the history of my father and this country before you should agree to this mission?”

Hongbin’s eyes widen at the request. The  _ history _ of his father and the country? It’s unknown to all. Hell, Hongbin doesn’t even know if the king’s father killed off the government officials. It was a popular rumor. He knows nothing of the country’s history since it became a monarchy. It’s never been written down, though it only happened around ten years ago. No one knows what happened inside the very castle Hongbin stands in. And to top it off, Hongbin’s a history  _ junkie _ .

“How old are you, Hongbin?”

“Twenty two.”

King Jaehwan smiles and begins. “Then it looks like we need a little recap. My father became president of Korea fourteen years ago. Everything was swift until four years after, when his presidency was coming to an end and he hated it. He had no power, being president, but he wanted it. My father was hungry for power, and I thought it was no big deal. My father, killing all the government officials...the one rumor you common folk got right. My father poisoned them all and took out the old and brought in the new. He told me, right after he declared himself king, that he killed them all--that this had been his plan all along.

“It didn’t take long for me to be brainwashed into the idea of power. I mean, look at me now! I’m the king. Do you remember when I became king?”

“About two years ago,” Hongbin replies. “Your father enthroned you on national television. How is he?”

“He’s dead.” Jaehwan gives a little smile. “A couple hours after I became king, he told me, ‘It’s all in your hands now.’ Then he died.”

Hongbin nods his head slowly, though inside he’s yelling. His father is  _ dead _ ? And no one knows this? How badly was he needed for this mission to be told such events?

“There’s more, right?” Hongbin asks.

“Well, I’m figuring the rest you know, since we’re at war. Japan decides to copy exactly what I did and they renamed their little country. You want to know another fact? The president of Japan is my uncle, and since he said that he decided to follow in my father’s footsteps and make it even  _ better _ , I decided to invade because it was my job to keep my father’s pride.  _ No one _ tries to do it better than my father or I. Not even his brother.”

“You started a war because of a dead man’s pride?”

“I started a war because my father would have done the same!” the king yells. “I am an extension of my father, therefore I do what my father would do!”

Hongbin raises his hands as if in protest. “Okay, okay. It’s nice to know the unknown history of a country.”

“Was it enough to convince you to do your mission?”

Hongbin glares at the king. “Maybe I can have some history on this guy and why you need him.”

Something about him makes Hongbin feel different. Scared, a little, yes, but not for what the mission will be. He’s a little scared of... _ him _ .

King Jaehwan smiles. “I’m starting to see why Wonshik likes you the most. Mr. Jung here is a Tsukaeru refugee. I’m guessing he moved to Tsukaeru before the war, or maybe was visiting when the invasion happened. He’s in Nari-Seung now, and he’s not allowed here. I need him for an experiment.”

Hongbin raises one eyebrow. “Why him? There’s tons of people who left to Tsukaeru, and not to mention, we’ve got a lot of immigrants too. I don’t think he wants to be here.”

“Why not him?”

Hongbin crosses his arms. He doesn’t know how to combat that. “How do I benefit?”

“I’ll give you whatever you want.”

A trick. Hongbin immediately thinks it’s a trick. He’s in the army, therefore this luxury doesn’t exist. Then again, this  _ is  _ the king. He has all the power in the country. He really can grant him anything. 

And there  _ is _ something he’s wanted for a while.

“I want you to take my family and I out of here,” he says boldly. “Valid citizenships in a different country, one that isn’t at war and won’t be till I’m dead. I want us to be taken there safely by one of your administrators and I want you to give us the money and the home to live in for a long, long time.”

“It will be granted,” he answers a couple seconds later, “after the war is over and if you bring me Jung Taekwoon, and  _ only _ if you bring me him. Do you understand, Hongbin?”

“Yes, your highness.”

The king gives the biggest smile after hearing that. He hands Hongbin a folder of information and sends him off.

******

It’s been three months since Hongbin was assigned his mission. The only one who knows about this mission is the lieutenant. He’s had no luck finding the man.

Their camp has moved six times in these three months. They have to keep moving north, since there are more refugees there and the Tsukaerus are right behind them. Their locations are always within the forest. Past the shores of Nari-Seung are miles of just groves of trees, which just makes it a forest. There’s lots of room for it. Lots of industrial life was torn down after King Jaehwan’s father took over. It allowed for trees to grow, which was only beneficiary during the war. It allowed for hiding and guerilla fighting along with a good place to stay.

When they finally find themselves a place to camp, they begin to set up the area. It is night when they get there, but not a single star is in the night sky. Hongbin and Hakyeon put up all the tents while other soldiers begin to set up campfires and cook the food.

Hakyeon and Hongbin sit on a log in the center of the camp, watching a duck roast over the fire in front of them.

“So, what did the king tell you?” Hakyeon asks for the hundredth time.

“Stop trying to get an answer out of me.” Hongbin’s pretty tired of the constant questioning. The other troop member gave up on that months ago, but Hakyeon  _ lives _ with him. He’s asked every night.

Hakyeon whines. “No one is called to the king! I’ve only ever seen him on television. Why does he call  _ you? _ ”

“It was nothing important,” Hongbin mutters.

“My ass. You should tell me, really. I can help you.”

Hongbin scoffs. “You still don’t count how many people you kill.”

“The next battle, I will.” Determination spreads over his face. “Watch me. I’ll report that I’ve killed at least fifty.”

“You don’t have to lie about it, Cha.”

Hakyeon stands up. “Who says I’m gonna lie about it? Really, watch me! If I count how many I kill, then will you tell me what the king told you?”

“Maybe, but when will the next fight happen?”

“I’m not sure, but when it happens, I  _ will _ keep count. I won’t let myself get shot.”

In that split second, a loud  _ BANG! _ is heard and Hongbin immediately bends down, grabbing hold of his gun.

“Hakyeon, get down!” he whispers.

Hakyeon continues to stand, his face blank.

“Cha, I  _ said-- _ ”

Then Hongbin sees the blood coming from Hakyeon’s shoulder. Another shot is fired, hitting Hakyeon’s shoulder again. He falls within seconds as the rest of the army comes out.

Hongbin holds him in his lap, pressing on the wound with his hand. “In the trees!” he yells. The soldiers begin to fire at the trees, a couple of them ricocheting. Hongbin carries Hakyeon out of the gunfire over his shoulder, one arm around his legs and the other to his shoulder.

“Hakyeon, can you hear me?” he yells over the commotion. His weight is heavy, but Hongbin’s used to carrying heavy things. Hakyeon isn’t that much heavier than what he’s had to carry.

Hongbin feels Hakyeon’s chin touch his back, then lift up, signaling a slight nod. “Who was that?” Hongbin manages to hear.

Hongbin ignores the question and rushes him into the doctor’s tent. The doctor looks at Hongbin, then Hakyeon in his arms, and points at the cot to leave him on.

“Two bullet wounds to the shoulder,” Hongbin says. He carefully places Hakyeon down, releasing his bloodied hand seeing the color seep through the cot. He wipes the blood off with a towel at the back of tent.

The doctor gets some sort of mechanism out from under the cot and gets to work on his client’s arm. It’s something like a long pipe attached to a bag. He places his foot on a pedal on the floor.

“This is gonna hurt a little,” the doctor tells Hakyeon, signaling Hongbin to get closer to the injured soldier. He kneels down next to him.

He puts the machine’s pipe to his shoulder and steps on the pedal. Hakyeon screams and reaches for Hongbin’s arm, squeezing it. He winces, but does nothing.

“What does that do?” Hongbin asks.

“Takes out the bullets,” the doctor replies. “He wasn’t shot in any vital area so this is fine.” He carefully takes the pipe off, leaving now a slow and steady stream of blood going down his arm. He quickly gives him a shot with a needle beside him..

“And that? What’s that supposed to do?”

“It’ll stop the blood flow in a minute.” The doctor smiles. “Since it’s not that serious, he’ll only need an hour to heal and then he can get back on the field.”

Hongbin bites his lower lip and looks at Hakyeon, whose arm is shaking and his eyes are tightly shut. This is the first time Hakyeon’s been seriously injured.

“Lee Hongbin!” Lieutenant Kim, who pushes the curtain entrance to the side, yells. His hands are filled with a sniper. “We need you on the field!”

“Hakyeon is wounded,” Hongbin states, moving aside to show him.

“I don’t care, we need you on the field!”

“I’m not going.”

_ Bold _ .

He’s been bold lately.

“Excuse me?” The lieutenant is taken back. “Your men are dying on field!”

“I’m _ not _ leaving Hakyeon.”

The firing of guns stop. Lieutenant Kim looks toward the camp’s center and examines from afar.

Hongbin gets up and confronts him, grabbing the curtain of the tent from him and pulling. “I’m staying here.”

Lieutenant Kim grabs his arm and pulls him out. “How  _ dare _ you disobey your lieutenant’s orders?” he yells. “If I tell you to go on field, you  _ go _ \--”

A bright light flashes and an even louder bang is heard. Both of them look towards the camp, covered in black smoke and flames. Blood is visibly spattered onto the white tents, but not a single body in sight.

Hongbin drags the lieutenant into the tent with him.

“What was that?” the doctor asks, hovering over Hakyeon.

“Bomb,” the lieutenant says as he begins to fold up the cots on the other side. “We have to get going.”

“Hakyeon is not in the condition--”

“I’ll carry him,” Hongbin says, already picking him up and throwing him over his shoulder. “Get to packing.”

******

The sun is starting to come up over the trees when they arrive at a safe area within the woods. There are ten other soldiers with them, carrying as many tents as they could and all the resources they could get in duffel bags.

Hakyeon sits on a log with the doctor, who is checking his arm.

“Why weren’t you men on the field?” Lieutenant Kim asks the soldiers, who stand in a line in front of him.

The ten soldiers lower their head.

“Do you think you can answer me?”

They do not answer.

He walks behind them and pushes them onto their knees. “Answer your lieutenant when he asks you a question!”

“Lieutenant Kim,” Hongbin says, “ _ shut _ up.”

Here’s the truth: Hongbin is  _ tired _ of Lieutenant Kim’s shit. Meeting the king made him think about something he’s never thought of--how much are the people in authority taking advantage of their position? He’s always respected the lieutenant, but after Hongbin met the king, he saw a shift in how he acts. He’s ignored the abuse soldiers have withstood because he had too much respect for him and he was on his good side. He was his  _ favorite _ . He decided he wasn’t going to let it slide anymore in his own way. He was going to stand up for himself and the others. The lieutenant can’t hurt him. He’s got a mission assigned by the king. And sure, he’s taking advantage of the position he’s in too, but he’s doing it for good. He likes being  _ bold _ .

Lieutenant Kim turns his head towards Hongbin. “The question goes for you too, Lee!”

“ _ Shut up! _ ”

The soldiers look up at Hongbin. Wonshik stares at him with fire in his eyes, and Hakyeon has a cadence in his breathing.

Hongbin’s pretty mild about the whole “talking back” idea and standing up for others, but it’s been three months since he acquired this new attitude. It’s time to crank it up a notch.

“You weren’t on the field  _ either _ ,” he mentions. 

“More than half of our troop has been killed, Lee!”

“Yeah, sounds like this whole damn country!” he yells. “The only way we get more troops is if we get to the main camp next to the village in the Lower Eastern Province. That should be our main goal.”

Wonshik takes off his gun strap and holds it tightly, the gun of the butt up to the sky. “Not before these boys learn a lesson.”

“Lieute--”

The lieutenant slams the butt of the gun down on each man’s shoulder with all his strength, each one planting their face into the ground and screaming in agony. Hongbin clenches his fist.

“Your fellow soldiers have  _ died _ !” he screams at them. “They’ve died trying to protect  _ you _ , trying to protect  _ Nari-Seung _ ! And you just ran away from the problem!”

Hongbin, before he can erupt, takes a map and a compass from a duffel bag and leaves the site. He knows when he can and can’t stop Wonshik, and this is one time where he can’t. He goes searching for a high spot, hoping he can see what lies ahead and where the closest village is. Their previous camp wasn’t too far off the border of the Lower Eastern Province and they always make sure they can see the sea.

It takes Hongbin about an hour to find the high place, and when he does, he finds out they’re much closer to the main camp than he initially thought. He can see the main camp from where he stands and all the small houses around. Around it is empty fields of grass. He concludes that they must already be in the Lower Eastern Province, since he can see the bright blue ocean if he turns his head to the right.

Hongbin runs back down to their site. The soldiers are setting up the tents and Hakyeon lies on a cot.

“We’re already in the Lower Eastern Province,” Hongbin states. “Once we leave this area, which would take about a day, it will take us roughly ten to twenty miles. We leave tomorrow morning. I doubt the Tsukaerus are far.”

Lieutenant Kim, who was watching the soldiers set up, glares at him. “Where did you go off to Lee?”

“I went to check how far we were.”

Hongbin goes to Hakyeon’s side and rolls his eyes. Hakyeon laughs softly.

“You have no shame, Bean,” he says. “I don’t understand how you can give that kind of attitude to our lieutenant.”

“I’ve been doing that for a while,” Hongbin says, rolling up his shirt sleeves. “But thanks for pointing it out now.”

“No, you’ve been a lil’ more cocky since the big ol’ king called you out.”

“Well, when the king calls you instead of your lieutenant, you do feel a sense of power.”

“Power is corruption, Bean,” Hakyeon sings.

******

Before Lieutenant Kim even reaches the door, Hongbin is through them and into the main headquarters. Soldiers try to hold him back, but he easily pushes them off. They attempt to go after him, but Lieutenant Kim tells them to not bother. Kim catches up and walks behind him.

“You think you’re so superior,” the lieutenant whispers, loud enough for Hongbin to hear. “What made you this way?”

“Your mistreatment of our soldiers,” he whispers back, “and the dead soldiers left in the forest and my mission to the king. That’s what made me this way.”

Hongbin practically bangs his fist on the door of the general’s office and welcomes himself in. The general sits in a chair that has the essence of a throne and the presence of a dining room chair. It’s made of wood and the backside barely passes his head. The edges are lined with gold. His office is  _ huge _ . If you got rid of the desk in the middle of the room, then it could pass for a library. At the back are miles of documents. 

He’s hunched over, reading papers, which cover the desk so much that some fall off, but looks up at Hongbin, who Lieutenant Kim is now next to.

The Lieutenant begins, “Good afternoon General Hwa--”

“We need more soldiers and resources for our troop,” Hongbin interrupts. Bold! “Twenty-three were killed when we were attacked by a grenade and gunfire. We’re left with two tents, a couple blankets, and one cot. We’d also appreciate a car to take us down to the Lower Southern Province, where we are most needed. How soon can you provide us with what we need, General Hwang?”

The general sits up straight and chuckles. “Is this the one you consider the best soldier?” he asks.

The lieutenant slyly smiles. “I don’t know anymore.”

“Well, Soldier…?”

“Lee,” Hongbin says.

“Soldier Lee...you come off strong. You can get your resources today, but replacing your soldiers will take a couple days. Now, I’m afraid I have to talk to your lieute--”

“What will you do about the bodies left in the forest?”

General Hwang’s face turns stoic. “Do you interrupt everybody?”

“These soldiers shouldn’t be left there. These headquarters are the only ones who know their family’s address and cell phone numbers and they have the right to know when, where, and how their loved ones have passed. I hope you take the bodies and give them to their families within two weeks. Where may I collect our resources?”

******

The soldiers stay in a military house for the next couple of days. The headquarters are still getting more soldiers to complete their troop, but only a couple are left.

Hakyeon and Hongbin go out into the village. It’s nice. It’s mostly just military houses and offices, along with a series of bungalows that serve as urgent care. There are, thankfully, ordinary places, like shops and restaurants. There’s even a theatre with free admission to soldiers (which, in reality, are the only people who are here). They look for a bakery--both want some freshly baked bread.

“So...Lieutenant Kim told me you gave General Hwang some attitude too,” Hakyeon breaks the silence.

“I don’t think it was attitude,” he answers. “I just stated what we needed because I know Lieutenant Kim would forget. He also doesn’t have the voice for authority.”

“Are you saying you should be lieutenant?” he counters.

“I’m saying he should get the voice for authority.”

They find a bakery, gray and petite. The display of sweets was enough to get their mouths watering, so they enter. The sweet smell of bread and sugar mixed fill their senses and make them feel relaxed for the first time in forever. Hakyeon starts looking at all the bread, asking the baker which one tastes the best and are her favorites. Hongbin looks around the bakery and notices someone sitting down at a table, eating a piece of bread with a coffee cup. The person looks familiar from behind, the black hair and broad shoulders, along with the light skin. He wears a black windbreaker. Hongbin walks towards his table and sits at a table across from him. He looks at the person and his eyes slightly widen.

Blue eyes. Thick, black brows. The hair sweeps messily over his forehead and touch his eyelashes. He can see his freckles from afar. He wears a white shirt with a pair of jeans. Poking at his piece of bread, he fiddles with a coin between his fingers.

He has found Jung Taekwoon.

“Hey, Bean!” Hakyeon calls. “Do you like coffee bre--”

A loud crash is heard from outside the bakery. Hongbin gets up and looks out the window to see a puff of black smoke coming from the military house. A bag falls from the sky a couple hundred meters away.

“Get to the back!” Hongbin yells, running that way himself. “Everybody! Now!”

Hongbin manages to push Taekwoon into the back room just as the bomb goes off.

They’re all crowded in the back room. The baker starts shaking violently while Hakyeon tries to calm her down. Taekwoon stands in the corner, his arms crossed and face blank.

“Is there an exit here?” Hongbin asks. “To the back?”

The baker nods her head and leads the way.

“Bean, I don’t have a gun,” Hakyeon says.

“Of course you don’t,” Hongbin mutters, taking his gun out from its handle on his belt. “Take the baker to a safe place. Don’t let her leave your sight.” He pulls Hakyeon a little closer to them as they continue walking. “I’ll take the other guy,” he whispers, looking straight at Taekwoon ahead of him. “When it looks calmer, find the lieutenant and make sure the baker finds her family.”

“Wait, why are we separating--”

“No time to explain.”

They exit through the back and a small grenade blows up a couple shops down. Hongbin grabs Taekwoon’s wrist and separates from Hakyeon.

“Stay behind me,” he says, grabbing the extra gun from inside his blue jacket. He looks back and Taekwoon looks straight in his eyes. They are a light blue, but they’re tired and sick. Taekwoon coughs and Hongbin sighs.

He runs behind the shops, avoiding lumps of stone and wood while shooting any Tsukaerus in his view. His hands start to sweat--something he thought he stopped doing months ago--and realizes that he’s losing grip of Taekwoon’s wrist. He tightens his grip, but Taekwoon pushes his fingers off his wrist and instead clenches his jacket sleeve.

******

Hongbin leads Taekwoon to what remains of the military house he stayed in. It used be a huge, stone house. It soared up three stories, the largest military house among the others and just two stories less than headquarters. They are the only ones there, meaning the rest haven’t come or are battling further out. Taekwoon sits on a block of stone.

“I have to count the dead in the square,” Hongbin tells him, hiding his gun back in his jacket. “Can you stay here?”

Taekwoon doesn’t reply, so Hongbin takes it as a yes. He walks away from him.

“Twenty-six civilians,” Taekwoon says monotonically, “ten enemies, and thirty soldiers.”

Hongbin stops in his footsteps and looks ahead. The civilian count seems correct, but the other two don’t.   


“I counted as we walked here,” he adds.

“There are more green jackets than blue jackets,” Hongbin states, looking at the ratio of blue uniforms to green ones. “Can’t you tell there are more enemies than soldiers?”

“That depends who you call the enemies and who you call the soldiers.”

Hongbin turns back towards him, anger firing him up. He did  _ not _ just hear that. “You’re in  _ Nari-Seung _ , therefore the enemies are the  _ Tsukaerus _ .”

“I am in Korea.”

“No!” Hongbin yells, taking his gun out from his pocket. This is the greatest amount of nationalism he’s ever felt, most likely because he just doesn’t like Tsukaerus. It’s like when he was younger and in school. He only cheered for their team if they were up against another team. Besides that, he never showed any type of support. “You are in  _ Nari-Seung _ ! If you are to immigrate here, then--”

“You’re threatened by someone with different views.”

_ Ha! _ “No one here is threatened!” Hongbin grabs his gun and points at Taekwoon.

Taekwoon smirks.

“I’d kill you here, at  _ this _ moment,” he growls, “if I didn’t have a mission to the king and to my troop, Jung Taekwoon!”

Taekwoon stands up. “How do you know my name?”

Hongbin’s eyes widen. He’s ruined it all,  _ this _ early. How can he be so foolish? “I-I guessed it!”

He’s usually much slicker than this.

“How do you know my name?” Taekwoon repeats, slowly walking towards him.

“I’m always right--”

Taekwoon takes out a gun from inside his windbreaker within seconds and points it at Hongbin. “How do you know my name?” he demands.

They point their guns at each other now. Taekwoon looks more determined than Hongbin feels.

He has the choice to tell him or keep it a secret. 

He’s already blown it anyways.

“Put the gun down,” he says, “and I’ll tell you.”

Taekwoon drops the gun to the floor and kicks it away from him.

Hongbin puts his gun back in his coat. “I’ve been ordered by King Lee Jaehwan to take you specifically to his castle. He would like to meet with you. I will take you through Nari-Seung, down to the Lower Southern Province, where his castle is, and deliver you. I will get my reward, and we will never see each other again. You cannot disagree, and if you try to escape, then I will come find you and take you to him half-dead. This is a secret mission between you, me, my lieutenant, and the king. I will hide you as we travel down.”

“King Lee Jaehwan.” he repeats. Taekwoon nods, and hides his face. Hongbin thinks he sees him smile.

******

When Hongbin had showed the lieutenant Jung Taekwoon, he received high praise. Kim decided to give Hongbin his own tent with Hakyeon and an extra space in the back to hide Taekwoon for when they get back to traveling. For now, he will sleep in a room with Lieutenant Kim under the presence that they are housing a civilian if anyone asks. As far as Hongbin knows, no one’s asked, and he doubts anyone cares.

But since that moment, a couple days ago with the guns, Taekwoon hasn’t spoken once.

Hongbin and Hakyeon are helping rebuild the military house they stayed in when Lieutenant Kim comes up to him. “I have bad news, soldier,” he says.

Hongbin nods, signaling that he’s listening, as he pounds a nail into the door handle.

“They will not give us a ride to the Lower Southern Province.”

Hongbin drops the hammer he was holding. “ _ What? _ We have to camp and walk down to the Lower Southern Province ourselves?”

“They don’t have enough cars,” Kim explains, “and we are one of the biggest troops in the whole army. They’re also making funeral arrangements.”

The lieutenant walks and Hongbin looks at Hakyeon, who is clearly worried. “We have to...walk through miles and miles of warfare and rough terrain...to get to the Lower Southern Province.”  _ And hide someone wanted by the king _ .

Hakyeon looks up and pushes Hongbin back. “They’re putting down the second floor.”

They take several steps back and watch a crane lower down the entire second floor, fully furnished and perfectly in place. Building a house is one of the easiest tasks now--all the architects do is design an entire floor, 3D print it, and hook it up to a crane so that it can be lowered down onto the foundation. After that, all that is needed to be installed in plumbing and miscellaneous decorations.

“It looks better than before,” Hakyeon states as a shadow casts over them.

“That’s because the previous one was built two hundred years ago. Now it’s uglier.”

“I think contemporary houses look better than whatever the hell it was before. The worst are Victorian houses? From the eighteen hundreds? The absolute worst. Stuff from, like, thousands of years ago are the worst.”

Hongbin knows history, so he knows what he’s talking about, but he has a secret love for the architecture of the past. But Hongbin means  _ past-past _ , like ancient Egypt. Maybe  _ only _ ancient Egypt. The styles of anything after 1500 he could care less about.

They begin to hook up the third floor, and within minutes, they are done building the military house. Hongbin looks at the rest of the village, seeing that all the shops have been replaced and are back to functioning. He knew it wouldn’t take more than a couple hours to fix the damage.

“I’m going to talk to the general.” He picks up his hammer and puts it in a tool box nearby. “The interior won’t take long and they don’t need my help on plumbing, so they should be fine. How can they not give us a ride to the Lower Southern Province? After all we’ve done for this country, how--”

“Hongbin,” Hakyeon interrupts, “the general is dead.”

Hongbin straightens his back. He narrows his eyes. “What do you mean?”

“He was killed during the bombings. Who did you think the funeral arrangements Lieutenant mentioned are for?”

“I-I thought it was for…” his voice softens, “the people.”

“Bean, you’ve been in the army for years now,” Hakyeon sighs. “You know no one does that.”

“Who is giving us our resources then?”

“Soldier Lee!” Lieutenant Kim yells from the porch of the brand new headquarters. “Come over here!”

Hongbin eyes Hakyeon. “Help them with plumbing. Maybe you’ll learn a thing or two.”

Hongbin jogs to the headquarters and is guided in by Lieutenant Kim.

“What do you need me for?” he asks.

“I don’t need you,” he answers, opening a door to reveal a room that has a video chat with King Jaehwan plastered on the wall. Hongbin looks around the room, hoping to find Taekwoon, but has no luck. The king wears his full white suit, but his hair isn’t slicked back today. It falls over his forehead, the very tips slightly touching his eyelashes. His throne is the same black velvet and he has purple lily flower in between his fingers.

“Good afternoon, soldier!” the king says rather cheerfully. “You’ve completed the first part of your mission.”

Hongbin glares at him.

“Lee Hongbin? Are you there?”

“What do you want?”

He chuckles. “I want to congratulate you! Thank you for getting Taekwoon--took you long enough!” His facial expression changes to one of wonder. “You look awful. Why is your hair all...scruffy? And your uniform is dirty. The bombing was four days ago, shouldn’t they have given you new clothes?”

“The general is dead.”

“Yes, I am aware,” he sighs. “May he rest in peace.”

“Who is taking his place?”

“Me!” He smiles and raises his hands. “I am now the General of the Armies.”

Hongbin looks back at Lieutenant Kim, who simply shrugs his shoulders.

“No, you-you can’t be the general!” Hongbin exclaims. “You don’t have any military experience! If anything, you should make Lieutenant Kim--”

“I doubt Wonshik wants to be General of the Armies. He likes his lil’ troop. He likes you all.”

Hongbin can’t close his mouth. He’s still in shock. Now he’s going to have an even  _ greater _ advantage.

“Well, I hope you can bring Taekwoon to me as soon as--”

“Car.” Hongbin manages to speak. “We need a car to take us down to the Lower Southern Province if you want Taekwoon in time, and the people to be safer faster.”

“Last update I got from General Hwang is that there are no--”

“General Hwang is dead, and you are the king. I’m sure you have more than enough cars in that castle of yours. Just a car that can fit up to forty soldiers. All other resources have been provided to us.”

Jaehwan bites his lip. “A car trip to Lower Eastern Province from Lower Southern Province will take at least five days. Are you willing to wait that long?”

“Yes. A journey from here to Lower Southern province without one will take at least two to three months. We can wait.”

“Can you hide that boy for five more days?”

“I’ve done so for four, don’t see why I can’t do five.”

“Then it’s settled. A car will come to the village in about five days and bring you and your soldiers to the marketplace here in the Lower Southern province. See you then, Soldier Lee.”

Hongbin begins to walk toward the door, and then he remembers something. “Since you’re General now,” he says turning towards the screen, “I should tell you my final request to General Hwang.”

Jaehwan looks intently at him.

“The soldiers we lost in the forest when we were bombed...you retrieve their bodies, inform the family that they have passed, and set up proper funeral arrangements for them. These headquarters have the information of every single soldier in Nari-Seung, and I’m sure they’re being sent your way. Lieutenant Kim will give you the names of the fallen. I’ve spent two years with this troop and it is the first time more than two have been killed in one period of time. General Hwang had guaranteed me this. You will also follow through with it. The bodies will be returned in two weeks or less. Consider it a favor for finding Jung Taekwoon.”

******

“I know you speak,” Hongbin whispers.

It’s past midnight. Hongbin sits on a chair at the corner of the large room as Taekwoon lies down on his bed. This is where he’s been hiding for the past five days. He wears a gray shirt and sweatpants. His white shirt, jeans, and windbreaker is folded on the corner of his bed.

“Is there a reason why you won’t speak now? Is it because I took your gun?”

Silence. He’s very good at it.

“Why do you even have a gun? Only soldiers should have them in a time of war. You’re not a soldier, you’re a refugee. Sure, maybe it’s a weapon of defense, but a knife would be much safer. Do you know how dangerous these guns are when they’re in the wrong hands?” Hongbin takes out his own from inside his coat. 

Taekwoon gawks at the gun.

“They called these  _ pistols _ thousands of years ago. The name still sort of stuck. They’re called P-157s now.” He puts his index finger inside the trigger and swings it around. “They’ve added a lot of gun safety regulation, but they’ve also made the weapon more dangerous. For one, you have to turn on the gun--it’s not something you load. Fingerprint ID on the trigger. Only the tech gurus can change the fingerprint ID to someone else. I’d say those are the two safety additions. For the dangerous ones?”

He stops swinging it and clasps it in his palm.

“Well, as I mentioned, it’s not something you load. You don’t have to. There’s some mechanism inside that just creates bullets in milliseconds. You’re never out of ammunition. There’s no safety-stop, so you can just keep shooting and shooting.” Hongbin looks at Taekwoon, who seems interested in what he’s telling him now. “So how did you get a military P-157 in your hands, Mr. Jung?”

Silence. Taekwoon didn’t even flinch at his actions.

Hongbin sighs and puts the gun back in his jacket. “I’m sorry for lashing out on you a couple days ago. Back when you talked. I...I’ve been trained to kill the enemy. Anybody who finds us as the enemy is therefore our enemy.” He laughs a little. “I don’t really consider this place  _ Nari-Seung _ either. Korea was much better. Or Japan. At least Tsukaeru means something meaningful. ‘To work for.’ And what does Nari-Seung mean? ‘Lily rise.’ What’s that supposed to mean?”

Taekwoon gives a slight shrug.

“When I met the king,” he begins, “I told him that everything about Nari-Seung is Korean. He got a little angry, but what would you expect from someone who wants to essentially change an entire culture? I think the name change made everyone pretty pissed. But it didn’t stop me from wanting to fight for my country. I had to protect my family. Who knows where they even are.” Hongbin laughs. “I ruined my mentality so my family can be safe. I put myself through war and being a murderer so that my family can live.”

Taekwoon scratches his head and yawns.

“You’re easy to talk to,” Hongbin says as he gets up from his seat. “Maybe because you don’t speak. Goodnight.”

********

The troops pack the tents and food into the trunk of E-Jeep. It fits all they have, though the trunk is small compared to the rest of the car. The car is set up like the party buses from the 21st century, except wider and without the random poles in the middle. When the troop members have entered the car, Hongbin sets up a seating place for Taekwoon within all the resources in the back. Taekwoon climbs in and stays silent.

“It’s been more than a week,” Hongbin mutters. “Get over it.” He shuts the car door closed.

Hongbin met up with Hakyeon and got the two passenger seats in the front, away from the rest of the troop.

“Is Wonshik driving?” Hongbin asks, closing the door.

“Yeah,” Hakyeon replies as he straps his seatbelt, “ _ Lieutenant Kim _ is driving. Did you see the new troop members?”

“No. Don’t really care.”

“No, Hongbin--listen to this. Our troop before was mainly male, correct?”

Hongbin nods.

“Nine girls. They gave us nine girls! We had two girls before the bombing. Isn’t that kind of exciting?”

“Nine girls in a troop of thirty,” Hongbin says. “Delightful.”

“Yeah! The other two girls didn’t like me. Think I can--”

“Don’t even try it,” Hongbin interjects. He’s seen Hakyeon flirt, and it’s stupid. Embarrassing.  _ Horrific _ . “You’d already risk yourself over other dumb things.”

“What’s that supposed to mean--”

The driver’s door opens and Lieutenant Kim takes his seat, starting the car while putting on his seatbelt.

“Both of you are in the front?” he asks. “What a hassle.”

“Lieutenant Kim, did you overlook the new troop members?” Hakyeon asks, his eyes having a little glisten.

“Ah, the nine girls? I’m sure you’re most excited for that.”

Hakyeon leaves his mouth agape, wanting to say something but refraining.

“Would you like to get to know them better and sit with them in the back, Cha?” the lieutenant says. “I’m sure our other men know them quite well now.”

Hakyeon looks behind him and taps the tinted glass that separates the back from the driver. “Can’t I just check on them through here?”

Lieutenant Kim smiles, which drives Hakyeon to open the window. Hongbin closes his eyes, not prepared for what he’s about to hear Hakyeon say. 

There is a deafening silence. Hongbin can envision all the troop members looking right at him.

“Uh-uhm,” Hakyeon stutters. “H-How are you ladies doing back here?”

There is no response. Hongbin muffles a laugh. 

One of the men groan.

He hears one of the girls say, “Just because we’re women doesn’t mean--”

“Calm down, Hyeyeon,” he hears another say. “We’re fine. Thank you for checking on us, Soldier Cha.”

“N-No problem,” Hakyeon whispers, then he slams the window closed.

“Any of them you want to get closer with?” Lieutenant Kim asks, hitting the pedal and driving out of the village.

“She knows my name,” Hakyeon states. “How does she know my name? I mean, I’m not mad because she’s gorgeous--”

“The new troop members know the remaining troop members. Don’t be too surprised.”

“I only know one of their names. Hyeyeon, and she was gonna yell at me.”

“The one who thanked you is Nayoung,” Kim says. “A soldier and a nurse. Hyeyeon joined the army about three months ago. Soyee, dark red hair, doesn’t talk much, but she’s been in the army since before the war. Sally, the orange-haired one, isn’t from Nari-Seung--she’s from China. She’s been friends with Nayoung for a while and for some reason thought joining the army would help her find herself. Mina, curly black hair, is a trained sniper, Hana, red hair, is a weapons expert, and Mimi...Mimi is a navigator. Not sure how she got on the troop, but she can hold a gun. Sejeong, the blonde one, she’s a trained medic, along with Haebin. And guess who Haebin is related to?”

“The King?” Hakyeon guesses. If she is, he’ll feel really bad.

“No.”

“General Hwang?”

“No. Her last name is Han.”

“Dr. Han Sanghyuk,” Hongbin mumbles. He feels worse.

“Correct.”

Hakyeon looks ahead at the road, confused at what he’s just learned. “She’s related to a mad doctor who makes machines for torture?”

“Who makes machines for the Tsukaerus,” Lieutenant Kim corrects.

Hongbin has a lot of opinions on that man. He’s extremely smart-- _ too  _ smart, in that matter. The amount of knowledge he has has made him turn to hate and crime, but then again, this is war. Hate and crime is what each nation feeds off of. Dr. Han made a lot of great inventions before the war. He created the 3D printing of houses, the machines that sucks bullets out of people, hell, he even found the cure to cancer. Once the war started, he created mechanisms society has tried to always avoid. Guns that make their own bullets, a taser that can kill in two seconds, torture devices…

“She’s performed open-heart surgery with a porcupine needle and horse hair before,” Lieutenant Kim mentions. “She’s quite valuable.”

“What has Sejeong done?” Hongbin asks.

“She’s helped her.”

“So she’s useless.”

“No one is useless.”

“Can she hold a gun?”

“She can hold a syringe. That can do a lot of damage.”

Hongbin bites his lip and Hakyeon laughs. “What are you laughing at?” Hongbin whispers.

“I think you’d like the girl with the syringe,” he replies.

******

Hakyeon has fallen asleep on Hongbin’s shoulder. It’s just about to be three in the morning and Hongbin feels himself drifting off too, but he knows he can’t leave Lieutenant Kim awake alone. He reaches across Hakyeon and opens the window to check on the troop. They all have their eyes closed, but there is one pair of shining eyes that look straight at him in the dark.

“Are you sleepy?” Hongbin whispers.

“Not really,” the voice of a girl replies. “I’ve had a long day, so I should be, but I can’t find the strength to shut my eyes.”

Hongbin slightly nods. “Your name is…”

“Haebin. Han Haebin.”

Hongbin sighs. He doesn’t want to get close to her. “Go to sleep, Soldier Han. We have longer days ahead of us.”

He silently closes the window and hears Lieutenant Kim chuckle.

“What?” Hongbin groans.

“You wouldn’t like any of them,” he says. “Not even the one with the syringe. You don’t want anyone in the army. You know what it will make you do.”

“What would it make me do?”

“Oh c’mon.” He looks at him for a couple seconds and notices Hongbin is genuinely interested. “Wait, you really can’t tell?”

Hongbin shakes his head.

“It’d ruin you. They’d become your priority, along with your family. Only difference in that situation is that you protect your family by being in the army, but can only protect the one you love in the army by sacrificing yourself. If you sacrifice yourself, then your family loses their protection, and so would the person you sacrificed yourself for. It’s better to protect one that’s not there than one who’s here, am I right?”

Hongbin nods. The lieutenant is right. He’s never even thought about finding love--he can’t when he’s in the middle of a war and needs to ensure his family’s safety.

“How about you go check on the resources in the trunk?” the lieutenant suggests, meaning that he should go check on Taekwoon. “See if anything’s fallen or something?”

“Will do,” he catches on.

Lieutenant Kim parks the car and unlocks the door. Hongbin carefully moves Hakyeon’s heavy head to Kim’s shoulder and jumps out of the vehicle. Branches crack under his feet and the moon is no help in lighting his way due to the tall trees that surround him. When he reaches the trunk, he carefully opens it and finds Taekwoon sleeping peacefully. His black hair rests on his forehead and his arms are crossed over his chest, where his knees are tucked into. He trembles when the cold air from outside hits him and causes him to wake. His blue eyes shoot open and he stares at Hongbin, who has a finger to his lips.

“Just checking on you,” Hongbin whispers. “Are you alright?”

Taekwoon nods.

Hongbin checks him up and down, feeling miserable. He shouldn’t be doing this. He shouldn’t be hiding someone in the back of an E-Jeep filled with thirty troop members and making sure he is safely taken to King Jaehwan’s castle without having a valid reason. He shouldn’t have to worry about  _ one _ more person’s life--one who can’t even protect themselves.

He shouldn’t be sending Jung Taekwoon to King Jaehwan without being certain he won’t die on the way.

“Well,” he whispers, “we should be getting there in a couple of--”

A bullet sound resonates through the forest and the window of the E-Jeep’s trunk door shatters into pieces. Hongbin turns around and takes out his P-157 from his pocket, standing in front of Taekwoon.

“Get all the bags you can,” Hongbin whispers to Taekwoon, handing him his P-157, “and run south. Leave the guns. Stop running when you think you’re safe and keep watch of the bags. Now.”

He was trained to think fast, and he was good at it. He had to be in situations like this.

Taekwoon grabs four bags while more bullets are fired, completely out of range of the car. He leaves and starts running south as Hongbin bangs on the car and grabs an R-173.

“Out!” he yells. “We’re under attack!”

The soldiers file out of the E-Jeep and grab a gun from the trunk. Lieutenant Kim comes up to him and asks what happened.

“A bullet hit the window,” Hongbin explains, “and I told him to take off with the resources and run south.”

The Lieutenant nods and goes to the trunk to retrieve his gun. The shooting stops in those couple of seconds. All the soldiers look around, observing the trees and keeping their ears open.

The silence angers Hongbin, and right when he’s about to put his gun down, a loud  _ thud _ is heard from the car. A man in a green jacket, black pants, shoes, and shirt stands on the hood of the car with a sniper resting on his back.

Soon after, the firing begins.

About ten to fifteen men jump from the trees, firing aimlessly at us and heading straight for the E-Jeep.

Hongbin hears one of the soldiers yell in agony. He shoots just as aimlessly as the Tsukaerus did--he can’t see anything out here. 

The loud engine of the car roars through the sound of gunfire and they speed off.

“Weapons down!” Lieutenant Kim yells.

Everyone puts their gun down except Hongbin. He aims for the tires of the car, but Lieutenant Kim puts a hand on his shoulder and says, “Don’t bother.”

He shows him the control to a G-64--a low power grenade, but one strong enough to wreck the van. “He left the most important weapon in the trunk,” he whispers.

“Do  _ not _ blow it,” Hongbin says through gritted teeth. “We  _ need  _ that car. They’re not far from us.”

“Hongbin, do you even see where that car is? They’re speeding at more than three hundred miles an hour.”

Hongbin glares ahead and realizes the lieutenant is right. He lowers his gun and watches the other press the button of the control. A loud screeching noise is heard, but the location of the E-Jeep is unknown until minutes later, when the smoke from the explosion rises over the trees. It’s barely visible from where they are.

Hakyeon looks back at him, eyes wide. “ _ Three hundred miles an hour? _ ” he asks, surprise dripping in his tone as he realizes what the lieutenant said. “What the hell? And we weren’t driving at that speed?”

Lieutenant glares at him. “That makes you upset?”

Hongbin scoffs. “Hell yeah! If we were going at  _ that _ speed, this wouldn’t have happened and we’d still have our car! And we wouldn’t be stuck here!”

The troop members stared at him--he knew they wouldn’t dare try to fight the lieutenant. But Hongbin had changed since the mission assignment, as the old soldiers would know. He’d challenge Kim as much as he wanted.

“Since you’re upset, let me tell you why we weren’t driving at that speed.” He walks around Hongbin in circles. “That car is solar powered. It’s been in some warehouse for a while, without any  _ sun _ to charge it up. Now, the car is also old. The solar panels work and all, but we weren’t out in the sun that much. So, when that stops working, we switch to gas. It’s night, so of course, we can’t rely on the sun to drive us. It didn’t have tons of gas, so I wasn’t going to drive too fast. I didn’t want to waste it.” He laughs. “But those idiots--wow. They get their hands on a car and  _ zoom! _ Take off without checking anything.”

He stops directly in front of Hongbin and stares at him with fire in his eyes. Hongbin furrows his brows.

“So, no, I decided that we  _ shouldn’t  _ go at such high speeds because I was trying to  _ conserve _ our gas.” He inches closer to his face. “So, next time, don’t  _ fucking _ question my tactics and authority!” he screams.

Hongbin isn’t shaken one bit. Instead, to show this feeling, he inches even closer and smirks. “A good lieutenant would know that if we used  _ a little _ bit of that gas to go at such high speeds, then we’d be where we need to be in no time.”

He walks away from him, acknowledging the new troop members’ shock.

Hakyeon-- _ of course _ \--was grazed by a bullet on his arm. How does he manage to do that when they weren’t even aiming

Nayoung gives him medical attention, which Hakyeon is silently enjoying. Hongbin makes note of it. He kneels down next to his head.

“We have to travel south,” Lieutenant Kim announces. “The only way to get there is by foot now.”

“Lieutenant Kim,” a short, curly haired female--Mina, suggesting from the sniper on her shoulder--says, “you’ve blown up our resources.”

“If you were not trained on how to live in the forest without resources, then I’m not sure how you passed the first military exam, even with your sniper skills.”

Mina glares at him and Hana steps in for her. “How long will it take up to get to the Lower Southern Province from here?”

“Two to three months,” he replies with a sigh. “Maybe even four with all these ambushes.”

Hongbin stares at the last remnants of smoke in the air as he props up Hakyeon’s head on his lap.

“Back in the day,” Hakyeon begins, smiling at Nayoung, “those trees would have caught on fire, causing other trees to catch fire, and the leaves on the ground do so to, and  _ all _ the forest would be burned. But”--he looks towards Haebin, who is rearranging her first-aid kit--”thanks to her brother, all the trees have been genetically modified to resist high temperatures. Isn’t that cool?”

Nayoung smiles and nods, but Hongbin stays silent.

He has to hide Taekwoon for four months.

******

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOooHhh


	3. part two: lost and found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hongbin gets taught a couple lessons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)

 

Part 2

Hakyeon walks ahead with Nayoung, leaving Hongbin alone with Sejeong, or as he’s come to remember her, “The Syringe.” They walk with the troop in the dark. It’s windy, forcing dirt into his eyes. It makes Hongbin look at the sky.

How could Hakyeon just leave him like that? He’s  _ bored _ . Hakyeon’s always talking or asking him trick questions. Hakyeon’s interesting to listen to. The Syringe hasn’t said a word.

“Do you remember what they looked like?” The Syringe asks. Hongbin looks down at her, noticing that she caught on and started looking at it too. She frowns.

“Remember what what looked like?” he asks her, staring back at the night sky.

She laughs. “C’mon, staring at the sky is like entering the void. It’s pitch black. Don’t you remember when there were stars?”

He scoffs. “Those stopped showing up long time ago.”

“I was six when they stopped showing up,” she says. “You?”

“Don’t remember.”

She pats his back. “On a sheet of black paper, you draw a white dot, and from that white dot, you draw a pair of lines that intersect at the dot. That’s what a star looks like. Make sense?”

Hongbin bites his bottom lip and shakes his head. “Nope.”

It’s only been two weeks since their car was blown up and their resources were lost. They don’t know how far they are into the forest, and worst of all: Taekwoon is nowhere to be found. He’s been worried about that little shit since he left. He could be  _ dead _ .

But that changes within a matter of seconds.

“Lieutenant Kim!” a girl--Mimi, if Hongbin remembers well--exclaims, running up to the troop.

“Soldier Jung,” the lieutenant whispers in the most tired way possible, “I really don’t have time for navigation stories.”

She’s been telling them for these two weeks. Stories of storms she’s encountered, that one ship that capsized, or of the different types of seafood she’s tasted over the years. She’s tried to convince us that pirates still exist.

“I-I don’t have a story to tell, sir. I have important information.”

“There’s no way to even get information here.”

“I…” she halts. “I found our resources, sir. All of them.”

Hongbin’s eyes widen and his heart starts beating faster. The lieutenant looks back at him, then asks Mimi to lead them there. Hongbin jogs up next to Lieutenant Kim.

Taekwoon! He can finally stop worrying about Taekwoon. Taekwoon is  _ near _ . He’s probably hiding somewhere if he’s  _ smart _ .

“Everyone’s gonna be distracted with the resources,” he whispers. “Go look for him.”

They’re there within minutes and they all begin to celebrate as they open the duffel bags of resources. All their food, tents, clothes--found in an open area perfect for a campsite. As they’re living in the moment, Hongbin walks off into the trees. Once he thinks he’s far enough in, he begins to call out to Taekwoon in soft whispers.

“Taekwoon, the troop found the resources.” He picks up a branch off the floor and starts moving things in his way. “Thank you, really, but we have to get back to camp. You didn’t go too far, right?”

He walks some more until he hears soft groaning in the distance. He follows the sound and finds a path leading to a small open area within a couple trees. He can see a duffel bag--one from the troop--and a bed of leaves.

“Taekwoon?” he says, looking around and walking up the path. “Taekwoon, where are--”

He looks down and finds a trail of dried blood. Not knowing whose it is, he silently follows the path until he sees a body lying face down in a pile of broken branches. He doesn’t wear a uniform and all of his physical features make him assume it’s Taekwoon. He groans in pain.

Hongbin goes up to the guy and flips him over. “Taek-Taekwoon, what happened?”

Taekwoon glares at him through hooded eyelids. His hair is greasy and covered in dirt, same going for his skin. Some cuts and bruises scatter his face. Hongbin looks down at his arm to see a huge gash on his forearm, bleeding like no tomorrow.

“Who did this to you?”

The asshole still doesn’t speak.

Hongbin groans and lifts him up into his arms. “The duffel bag is empty, right? You used everything?”

Taekwoon nods. Blood spills onto Hongbin’s sleeve, making his arm have to touch it.  _ This isn’t the worst I’ve been through _ , he thinks to himself.

“Doesn’t this hurt?”

Taekwoon purses his lips then glares at Hongbin with piercing blue eyes.

Still won’t talk.

******

When Hongbin and Taekwoon get to the campsite, the tents are all up and ready to be slept in. Luckily, Lieutenant Kim caught on to what Hongbin had to go do and placed Hakyeon and his tent as close as possible to the nearest trees. The only problem is that the tent they have should have a back compartment for Taekwoon, and right now it doesn’t. Hongbin also has to talk to one of their medics to get the materials they need.

“Uh, listen to me Taekwoon,” he whispers. “I know you’re in pain, but I have to leave you here for a couple of minutes since your staying place is….not up yet. So just stay silent, which you’ve mastered for like three weeks, and stay low.”

Hongbin places him down on the ground and starts heading to the tent. There aren’t any soldiers out, so casually entering should be a piece of cake.

He’s about to step into the camp when he sees the lieutenant come behind his tent with cloth and metal rods. The lieutenant sees him and releases a sigh of relief.

“Did you find him?” he asks. Hongbin nods in response. “He’s fine right?”

“Actually--”

“Because if he’s hurt, the king is gonna be pissed.”

Hongbin stops in his tracks. “Uh, a-actually, he’s, uhm, he’s great,” he stutters, crossing his arms and seeming reassuring. “He’s just got a couple scratches.” He covers the dried blood on his sleeve with his hand.

“Oh good. Help me put this up, yeah?”

Hongbin and Lieutenant Kim quickly put up the small tent. Kim lays a fur blanket on the floor and puts a pillow at the edge.

“Now, to keep him a secret!” Kim exclaims.

Hongbin sarcastically smiles. He wants to punch the lieutenant in the face. 

He gets out of the compartment and returns to Taekwoon, who holds his arm and has heavy eyelids. “It’s good to go,” he says as he lifts him into his arms. He gets him there quickly and lays him down on the blanket. “So, uh, that’s it I guess.”

Taekwoon widens his eyes and clenches his fist. He’s clearly expecting some sort of care. Hongbin wants to give it to him, but he really can’t. Not without getting caught.

“Look, I can’t just go ask for some medical stuff!” He thrusts his arms forward. “I’d have to give a reason, and I still have to keep you a secret.”

They stay silent in the room for a couple of minutes. It’s awkward and the space between them grows cold.

“Fuck, just go get some damn help!” Taekwoon groans.

Hongbin throws his arms in the air. “So  _ now _ you’re gonna talk.”

“My arm is  _ bleeding _ , you ass!” He points at his arm. “And it hurts a  _ lot _ , so if you could get that damn medical attention, I’d appreciate it!”

“I already  _ told _ you, I can’t get any because I have to keep you on the down low and, in case you didn’t know, asking for medical attention when you don’t need any isn’t exactly  _ that _ .”

“So you’re just-- _ uhh _ \--you’re gonna let me bleed out?” Taekwoon scoffs in pain. “I’m gonna die.”

“Who the fuck even did this to you?” he asks, shrugging his shoulders. “And how long ago?”

“I don’t know,” he groans. “Probably a bear or something.”

“Oh, that’s believable,” he jokes.

“I really don’t know so just stitch this shit up or something!”

“Look, it’s gonna stop bleeding eventually and all will be--”

The sound of cloth being torn open interrupts their argument. Hongbin looks to his side and sees a knife go back into the other side of the tent. He curses in his head and tries to quickly cover up Taekwoon, but he doesn’t even get to him when Hakyeon pokes his head through.

“Hongbin, what the hell is--” Hakyeon whispers, but then quickly stops. He looks at Hongbin with surprise. “Who the  _ hell _ is this?”

“So your name’s Hongbin?” Taekwoon laughs. “I just learned that.”

“Hakyeon, look,” Hongbin says. “I can explain.”

Hakyeon tilts his head down to see Taekwoon and his immediate reaction is to gasp. “He’s bleeding, Bean. We have to help him.”

Hongbin’s bewildered. “I can’t even help him--”

“I heard your conversation, don’t worry about it.” The whole thing? That’s...not good. At all. “I can stitch and Nayoung gave me some tools today.”

Hongbin stays flustered. He watches Hakyeon grab some gloves and thread and a needle from his emergency satchel and starts to examine it. He’s surprised that all Hakyeon did was help him rather than lecture Hongbin. He’s been lectured before, usually over minuscule things, but they take a long time and still make him feel a little like shit. He can hear Taekwoon muffle his cries, but if he’s in enough pain to give up the silent treatment, then he better keep an eye out for any loud noises.

“This might hurt a little bit,” warns Hakyeon.

Taekwoon bites his lip, and when Hakyeon does his thing, Hongbin is quick enough to reach out and cover Taekwoon’s mouth before he screams too loud.

“Done.”

“You sure you did it right?” Hongbin asks, looking at the patched up skin and blotches of dried blood on Taekwoon’s forearm from above.

“Yes,” he says, standing up next to Hongbin and stripping his hands free from the gloves. “Now,  _ what _ the hell is this?” he asks as he points above their heads at the tiny tent compartment. “And who the hell is  _ this _ ”--he points at Taekwoon--“and why do you know him?”

“Uh,” he hesitates, “look, this might take a while.”

Hakyeon seats himself on the floor. “I’ve got all day.”

Hongbin scowls and looks at Taekwoon, whose eyes look like they’re about to roll to the back of his head. “I have to take care of him, he’s injured. That’s it.”

“Liar.”

Hakyeon always had a knack for that. “He was  _ bleeding _ !”

“Then why does he have his own lil’ room in  _ our _ tent?”

“It comes with the tent.” Not so bold.

“Stop lying to my face, Bean.”

“I--mm,” he moans, looking back at Taekwoon with doubt. “I can’t tell you.”

“You have to now.”

Hongbin runs his hands through his hair. He always pictured not having to have this conversation at all. That hiding him would be easy, even if it was for another four months or so. But here he is. Here, he breaks a promise to keep it a secret. “Remember when the king told me to go to his place?”

“What’s that got to do with bringing some guy to our tent?” Hakyeon is anything but convinced.

“I have to bring him to the king.”

Hakyeon looks at Taekwoon, gets up, then leads Hongbin back into their tent through the slit. Their cots are adjacent to the curtain walls, just as white as they left them. Their bags are at the end of the tent next to the weaponry. His silence worries Hongbin. Will he tell the troop? Would he expose him? How mad can he be because he had to keep a secret?

Hakyeon sits himself down on his cot. “You have to drag this guy all the way down to the Lower Southern Province, and for what? The king to enjoy himself?”

“I don’t know,” Hongbin replies. He really wish he did. He doesn’t know what he’s gonna do with him. Just an “experiment.” 

“So why did you keep it a secret from me? How long have you had him with you? Where did you even find this guy, and can we trust him? Is he from Tsukaeru?”

Hongbin lies down on his cot. “The mission is confidential. You have to pretend like you know nothing. The only other one who knows is the lieutenant. I’ve had him with me since the attack at the village, where I found him in the bakery. And if we can trust him….I hope we can.”

Hakyeon leans forward. “Is he from Tsukaeru?”

If anyone hates people from Tsukaeru, it’s Hakyeon. The hatred only began after the bombing at their camp. Unlike Hongbin, Hakyeon was best friends with everybody, and after a couple days, it hit him hard. Everyone has a dislike for the Tsukaerus, probably only because we’re at war with them, but hating is something Hakyeon’s never done in his life. Whether he can say Taekwoon is from Tsukaeru, he's not sure. He was born in Nari-Seung, yes, and he called it Korea the first time they met, but he’s also lived in Tsukaeru for years and is one to call Nari-Seung the enemy.

“I don’t know,” he says.

“It doesn’t hurt to ask,” the other says, standing up and going toward the back compartment.

“Hakyeon, leave him alone, he’s tired.”

He stops in his tracks. “What’s his name?”

“Taekwoon.”

Hakyeon goes back to his cot and lies down. “Then he’s from Nari-Seung.”

******

“Not to be a bother,” Mina asks as the troop sits around a campfire, “but why are we walking? Dr. Han Sanghyuk invented flying cars when he was in his teenage years. And why are we still doing shit like campfires? We’re more civilized than this. I read about this stuff in history textbooks.”

The fire crackles in the silence. Haebin looks down and her shoulders sag, making Hongbin wonder whether the mention of her brother makes her embarrassed or uncomfortable.

“We don’t have a car,” he hears Sally whisper to her.

“Or a lot of resources,” Soyee also whispers.

The troop stays silent, and the awkwardness forces Mina to go back to her tent.

They’ve spent more than three weeks walking now. They’re definitely in the Upper Southern Province by now, which means they’ve got several more weeks to reach their location. Taekwoon’s arm has healed, though not at it’s best shape. Hakyeon has practically forgot he exists, which is a good thing, but he’s been having less conversations with Hongbin than usual. He’s claimed that all Hongbin’s been doing is talking with Taekwoon. He disagrees. Taekwoon doesn’t like to talk unless he has a question or something important to say.

Hongbin, not liking the awkwardness, returns to his tent. He goes to the back compartment through the big rip Hakyeon made with his knife and greets Taekwoon. His black hair is pushed back, out of his face, and his blue eyes gaze at the ceiling of the tent. He wears the white shirt under a black windbreaker, blue jeans, and sits with his legs crossed. How long is he gonna wear those clothes? They’re clean and all but there’s gotta be something else.

“Are we leaving soon?” he asks.

“We’ve been here for less than four hours,” Hongbin says. “We’re spending the night here. How’s your arm now?”

“It’s good.” Taekwoon nods, then looks at him. “A couple weeks ago, you told me that if everything goes smoothly, we should be at the Lower Southern Province in three to four months. How long have we been on the road?”

“A little over a month.”

“So by what do you mean ‘smoothly?’”

“Well,” he starts off, seating himself across from the other, “from experience, when moving around in times of war, you are likely to be attacked. It has happened to us once, where we lost our E-Jeep, and it’s happened to you on your own--”

“It could have been a bear,” he whispers.

Hongbin rolls his eyes. “--and it’s happened at the village. So being attacked is quite common, and in most cases it slows us down because we may lose troop members and resources, but mainly because it’s a waste of time.”

“So...is this smoothly? Have these weeks been smooth?”

He nods. “Yes.”

He continues to nod, realizing how odd it is for there to be “smooth” weeks continuously. He has every right to ask. He can’t have a good assumption since he’s only been with the troop for a short amount of time. It made Hongbin think though, unfortunately. Three straight weeks without an attack? They weren’t even out on the road for more than ten hours and they got their car stolen.

“Have we been traveling the right way?” Taekwoon asks.

“Of course we have,” Hongbin says confidently. “You just travel south.”

“Really? Because when we were in the car, we were going east.”

Hongbin glares at him. “What do you mean?”

“We were going east.” He props himself up into a seating position, using all the might he has from his working arm. “I’m sure you can see the ocean now.”

“We’ve been going  _ the wrong way? _ ”

Taekwoon shrugs.

Hongbin crosses his arms and narrows his eyes as he thinks. How can he be so dumb? Shouldn’t the lieutenant’s goal be to get the troop down to the Lower Southern Province? You should always be able to see the sea from a high point, yes, but that’s the least of their problems right now. Hongbin’s basically hiding a body.

“I’m leaving. I’m gonna talk to Hakyeon.”

Hongbin squeezes through the hole in the tent and finds Hakyeon seated on his cot. His blue jacket is thrown to the side. He’s fiddling with a thick piece of thread between his fingers.

“What are you doing?” Hongbin asks.

Hakyeon shrugs. Hongbin feels uneasy about the situation, but Hakyeon is his best friend and he really just wants to talk with him. Taekwoon has been annoying.

“Did you know we’ve been traveling east?” He lays down on his cot, still angry at the fact.

“Everyone did.”

Hongbin turns his head to stare at him. “Why didn’t I?” He feels hurt. Why forget about him?

“Because you’ve been talking with Taekwoon,” he mutters.

Hongbin is taken back. “What is wrong with you?” he asks, finally realizing he’s had enough of this. He’s had enough of Hakyeon’s attitude and their lack of conversation. Friends fight, but if it lasts for more than a day or so, then they simply aren’t friends anymore. He should know--he used to be pretty social in his teenage years.

Hakyeon looks up at him. “Excuse me?”

“Why have you stopped talking to me? What did I do?” He pauses. “And no, I haven’t,” he finishes.

“What did  _ you _ do?” Hakyeon scoffs and throws the piece of thread down on the floor. “You want a list? I can give you a list.”

“List it, then!” Hongbin fights back.

“Ever since your brought your little ‘mission to the king’ person, you’ve been a real dick! One, you kept it from me for a  _ month _ , knowing he’d be sleeping in  _ our _ tent, eating  _ our _ food, and not sacrificing the  _ same shit _ we have to! Two, all you do is talk to him! ‘Oh, how’s your arm? Are you doing well? How’d you sleep?’ You know what kind of questions  _ you _ asked me? ‘How many did you kill today? Just keep him a secret, okay? Did you learn something?’ It’s always been like that, and sure, that’s probably because of the job we have, but it doesn’t hurt to ask how I’m feeling too. I’m your friend. I’m your friend before  _ he _ is. Is he even your friend? I’ve only known you as the antisocial soldier who became my friend because we were stuck sharing a tent. Seeing you talk to Sejeong was a miracle itself. I wouldn’t mind it so much if you just treated me the way you do to him. Maybe this is coming off as jealousy, but it’s just me,  _ your friend _ , noticing you acting differently. And I’m not sure why.”

He leans back on the palm of his hands.

“And being your friend is difficult  _ as hell _ .”

Hongbin stares at him. Hakyeon is heated, breathing heavily. His shoulders rise up and down.

“This isn’t like you, Hakyeon,” he softly says. If he goes at this in a calm demeanor, then maybe it’ll help. “I don’t think I’m acting differently. I’m happy that my actions concern you. I’m just being nice. He’s hurt and can’t get proper help. Making another friend wouldn’t hurt anyways. I hope you know that what you listed are not my intentions, but if you don’t want to talk like we used to anymore, which consists of more than what you claim, then I’ll relay everything to someone else.”

Hongbin stands up and exits the tent. He needs to have a walk.

Some troop members are sitting around a campfire, but most are in their tents. There’s nothing much to do tonight, so he’s not surprised. Maybe the calmness of these past weeks has made everyone get more rest.

He walks up to Lieutenant Kim’s tent, debating whether he should enter or not. As much as he has begun to despise him, he seems like someone Hongbin can confide in, but talking to him about his problems seems childish. He didn’t think  _ he _ would be the person he’d relay everything to.

There’s only two things that can happen if he goes in there and asks for advice--he get’s his damn advice, or he gets lectured on his behavior. Both conversations are long overdue.

He sighs and says, “Lieutenant Kim?”

Nothing.

“Lieutenant Kim, can I come in? It’s Hongbin.”

Nothing.

He gets tired of waiting and enters. Wonshik leans against the edge of his desk, his arms crossed and his face smiling. He’s in a plain white shirt with camo pants on. Hongbin’s surprised to see that he’s still got the huge tent thing going for him.

“I figured you wouldn’t wait,” he says. “What do you want?”

Hongbin begins to regret his decision. “Nevermind,” he plainly says, turning around to exit.

“Don’t leave. I need to talk to you.”

Hongbin looks over his shoulder. “About?”

“Taekwoon.”

Hongbin’s eyes widen. He wasn’t expecting that.

But as he says it, a loud crash resonates throughout the camp. They stare at each other, bewildered. Sally comes into the tent at that moment. “What are you doing?” she asks. “Get out! Tsukaerus are here!”

She runs off and leaves the two of them. Hongbin reaches for one of the lieutenant’s gun, but he stops him. “Go get Taekwoon,” he whispers.

“ _ What?” _ he whispers back. “There are Tsukae--”

“We haven’t been attacked for  _ weeks _ . Your job to the king is to protect and bring Taekwoon to him.  _ Go do it. _ ”

Hongbin clenches his fist, then runs out. He can’t believe this. His job as a soldier is to  _ fight _ Tsukaerus, not run away from them. And he has to protect Taekwoon?

As he runs, he really considers not even going to Taekwoon. Leaving him in the back compartment of the tent is probably the best thing for him anyways. The king would understand if he somehow lost Taekwoon, or he died...but he looks around and sees Tsukaerus...looking through tents?

One pair goes into a tent, and a few seconds later, goes out. He sees another pair take out one of their troop members, hands tied behind their back.

The Tsukaerus aren’t armed.

They’re  _ looking _ for something.

What could they be looking for? Resources? We’re limited anyways and they’re not stealing anything from the tents. Are they just looking for prisoners? Of all troops,  _ our _ troop, the one who knows the  _ least _ about what’s happening on the battlefield as of this moment.

Maybe someone?

The image of Taekwoon’s bleeding arm comes into his mind.

Hongbin runs faster.

******

“Taekwoon,” he whispers once he’s in the tent. Hakyeon must have been long gone, his gun clearly missing. Hongbin grabs his P-157 and a small satchel with some basic needs. “ _ Taekwoon, _ ” he whispers again, a little louder and with more force.

Taekwoon pops his head through the slit made a few weeks ago. “What’s happening?” he whispers.

Hongbin hears yelling from the distance. “We have to go.”

Taekwoon begins to exit through the slit, but Hongbin pushes him back in. “What are you--”

Hongbin climbs into the back compartment, takes out the hooks that connect it to the tent, and pulls it back. “We’re exiting through the back.”

He grabs onto his wrist and runs. Taekwoon is able to keep up with him. He looks back to him, who looks back to the camp. Hongbin notices more green than anything else.

Hongbin has never been so terrified. That makes him run faster.

******

“STOP RUNNING!” Taekwoon yells. He pushes Hongbin’s hand off his wrist and pants. He glares at him.

Something about those blue eyes scare the shit out of him.

Hongbin forgot he has more endurance than him. He halts and turns to look at him.

They stare at each other in silence, for what seems like hours. Sweat drips down Taekwoon’s hair. He wipes his forehead with the back of his hand and sits on the dirt.

“Aren’t you supposed to  _ help _ them?” Taekwoon asks.

Hongbin bites the inside of his mouth. He knows what he’s supposed to do. He’s supposed to help them, yeah, but he’s supposed to protect Taekwoon too.

Taekwoon laughs at the reaction. “What a hero.”

“He told me to leave,” Hongbin mutters.

“Who? Hakyeon? Because he spoke out and you let him try to delegitimize your feelings?”

“Don’t talk about Hakyeon,” he spats. “You’ve got no right.”

“Right, because I’m from Tsukaeru. Because Hakyeon hates them,” Taekwoon scowls. “I thought your troop members were more important.”

“The lieutenant told me to take care of you first!” Hongbin clenches his fist and stomps towards Taekwoon, ready to break his teeth in one swift punch.

Taekwoon’s sarcastic demeanor changes when they are inches apart. His face becomes stoic and Hongbin feels…. _ bad. _

Hongbin groans and throws the satchel around his shoulder onto the ground.

“I-I had to take care of  _ you! _ ” he begins with his rant. “ _ You _ , because  _ you _ are wanted by the asshole of a king for some unknown reason! And, hell. I  _ would _ be helping my troop members because, yeah, they’re life is more important to me. But no, I have this duty to the king and it’s to take care of  _ one _ single life over the lives of millions! Of this country! And I have to sacrifice it for  _ you _ ! So do  _ not _ try to make fun of me for it. I could have made the decision to stay and help my troop members-- _ completely disobeying  _ my king’s wishes, which seems very tempting--but I felt the need to help  _ you _ .” In a fit of rage, he kicks a nearby tree. “I helped  _ you _ because I had this feeling they were looking for  _ you _ and you are completely unarmed and though you’re  _ still _ trying to convince me that  _ that _ ”--he points at the scar on his arm--“was caused by a bear, I’m not that stupid. I know  _ someone _ cut you, and if-if it was a  _ Tsukaeru _ , it means that my duty as a soldier is to protect you from them. Whether you’re a Tsukaeru or not.”

Hongbin looks up, straight into his eyes. They sting--a distant feeling he’s had before. Taekwoon’s eyes, though one couldn’t tell if you had just met him, soften. They’re kind.

He hears a soft “thank you” come from his lips.

Hongbin picks up the satchel and hands it to Taekwoon. Taekwoon gives him a questioning look, as if, after that big rant, he’d really even  _ give _ him anything. “So you’re armed,” is all Hongbin says.

******

Hongbin has counted the sun go up three times. He’s continues walking with Taekwoon, mostly in silence.

******

Hongbin’s seen the moon rise above his head eight times now.

Taekwoon lies down next to him in a bed of leaves. They don’t really talk at night. They’ve gotten a little more closer these past days, talked about the weather and their surroundings.

“Hongbin?” Taekwoon says.

“Yeah?” he answers.

“How long ago did people send messages through animals?”

Hongbin furrows his eyebrows. “ _ What? _ ”

“You like history,” the other recalls from a conversation they had back at the camp, “so? When?”

“Uh, well.” What a weird question. He forgot he told him he liked history. “Well, the Romans did. Pigeon post. They naturally fly back to their home, so they would be transported somewhere, get the message, and then take the message to their owner. It kind of went on for a while, but we obviously got much more advanced. The telegraph, the telephone, computer messaging--pigeons weren’t needed.”

“What about hawks?”

Hongbin looks at him from the corner of his eyes, wondering what it takes to get Taekwoon into this kind of questioning state. “They were known to be used during Medieval times, if I remember.”

“And they don’t use them anymore, correct?”

“Yeah. I said that.”

“Then why the  _ fuck _ is there a hawk on that branch with a scroll in its beak?”

“ _ What? _ ” Hongbin sits up and looks towards the branches Taekwoon glares at. He’s right, which is weird. A big, tan hawk sits on a branch elegantly, small scroll held in its beak. He doesn’t know how to react. Is the message for them?

The hawk swoops down to Hongbin’s feet, frightening him. He scoots back a little, his hands holding him up from behind. His wings are  _ huge _ , probably bigger than the length of both his arms. 

“G-Good bird?” Hongbin mutters.

The hawk drops the message and flies away.

He gives a bewildered look to Taekwoon, who gives a  _ smile  _ to the hawk.

_ A smile _ .

He stares at his lips, curling up on his face and making his eyes smaller. It’s genuine. Taekwoon’s smile is genuine. He looks so much more relaxed and at ease because he saw a friendly bird. It’s the realest smile Hongbin has seen since he’s been in the army. 

Hongbin hasn’t smiled in a long time.

Taekwoon’s smile only lasts a couple of seconds, then it disappears when his eyes meet Hongbin’s.

“So we’re going back to messenger birds, despite all the latest technology,” the other says.

Hongbin blinks at him, trying to process the fact that,  _ yes _ , a bird just sent him a written message, and  _ heck yes _ , he just saw Taekwoon smile. He shakes his head and reaches forward to the letter.

“ _ Parchment? _ ” Hongbin says in surprise. The feeling is wrong in every way. He opens the letter and sees something he wish he hadn’t--the emblem of the king. It’s a hawk-- _ duh _ \--with its wings widened. He sighs as his eyes move down to read.

 

_ Dear Soldier Lee, _

_ If you have received this message, it is because I have an update for you. I am patiently waiting for the arrival of our little Tsukaeru Jung Taekwoon--I’m quite excited for him to come here! As we both know, I need him for an experiment. I’m sure you’re just as excited for the experiment as I am. I had to put some thought into how I wanted to execute it, and I got the perfect idea! And just the right person. Dr. Han Sanghyuk is on board, making a device that will help me initiate the experiment. I’m very grateful that he found interest in it, since we  _ _ are _ _ great friends. This experiment will help the people of Nari-Seung out so much. I hope you will bring him as soon as possible. _

_ P.S--what’s taking so long? I thought I gave you a car. _

_ Sincerely, _

_ General of the Armies _

_ King of Nari-Seung _

_ Lee Jaehwan _

 

Hongbin’s hands shake. He crumbles the paper up and grunts.

Dr. Han Sanghyuk. If there was anyone he had to choose not to trust,  _ ever _ , it was him. He’s never met him, but just his inventions are enough to anger him.

How humane is this experiment? It can’t be something that’s going to “help the people of Nari-Seung.” No, not with him on it. Is he sending Jung Taekwoon to his death? Is he just as bad as Dr. Han?

“Who’s it from?” Taekwoon asks.

Hongbin doesn’t look at him. He rips the paper in half, and then into fourths, to eighths, and so on.

“You can stop ripping it,” Taekwoon says after moments of silence. “The pieces are too small for me to even decipher what it said.”

Hongbin looks at him. His face exudes concern.

Taekwoon has emotions! He has to remind himself that. He’s smiled, he’s scowled, shown concern, and has been sarcastic. 

“I know,” he whispers. “It was just a stupid letter.”

“Well, it clearly wasn’t from the troop. You would’ve acted upon it.”

Hongbin thinks back to the day the Tsukaerus got to camp. There’s nothing for them to possibly want in their tents and Hongbin is insistent on the idea of them looking for Taekwoon.

“Why are the Tsukaerus looking for you?” he asks, hoping that might rile him up.

Taekwoon scoffs. “I don’t know what you mean.”

Hongbin rolls his eyes. He’s hiding something from him. “You weren’t cut by a bear. Do you think I’m gullible?”

“No.”

“Then don’t lie to me.”

“I’m not lying to you.”

“And I’m not gullible, so tell me the truth.”

“A bear cut me.”

“Taekwoon--”

“A bear.”

“A bear did  _ not _ \--”

“Yes it did.”

“No it di--”

“Yes it did.”

“ _ Hey! _ ” Hongbin growls. Taekwoon flinches a little. “ _ I’m _ the one protecting your ass right now, and have been doing so for  _ weeks _ , so don’t try to fuck around with me. I could have decided to stop being your armor but I was worried about you for  _ weeks _ after I lost you and to make it worst you wouldn’t even tell me the truth behind a gash that’s  _ obviously not from a bear! _ So you might as well tell me that  _ someone _ cut you rather than just a bear!”

Taekwoon stares at him--why are his eyes so  _ piercing _ \--for some seconds, but they avert from him and down to his forearm. He rolls up his dirty sleeve, looking at the scar with something like fear, and then pulls it down. “Someone.”

Hongbin nods. He knew it. No surprise. “Thank you.” He lies down on the dirt. He feels at ease now. Hongbin doesn’t know if he can fight a bear, but a human he can do. He can kill a human.

“I saw green.”

_ Green? _

Hongbin’s eyes widen, but he doesn’t move. Instead, Taekwoon lies down a little closer to him.

“A Tsukaeru tried killing  _ me _ . Their own.”

******

Hongbin keeps hearing something. Like a low beep from a microwave. It’s annoying,  _ awfully _ annoying.

It has got to be just a dream.

But it goes on for what has to be hours. Hongbin forces his eyes open, his sight fuzzy.

“Taekwoon,” he mutters, nudging the other awake. “Do you hear that?”

Taekwoon moans and nods. “What is it?”

They sit up, the beeping sound getting faster. Fearing for the worst, Hongbin grabs Taekwoon’s wrist and pulls him up. “Grab the satchel. We have to go.”

“Where are we--”

“Now!”

Taekwoon grabs the satchel and looks ahead of him. The beeping sound is much faster, and much louder, and it sounds  _ familiar _ , and now it’s like the beeping is against his skull rather than somewhere out there--

A loud screech explodes throughout the vicinity, but nothing blows up. Just a loud screech, like something’s taken off. Hongbin’s heard the noise before throughout his years of service, but can’t think of the object.

Taekwoon pushes Hongbin’s hand off his wrist. “I think we’re fine. Probably just some warfare.” He walks back towards his bed of leaves, but a cracking sound stops him in his footsteps.

_ Crack. _

_ Crack. _

_ Crack. _

Hongbin squints his eyes, trying to get a better look at what’s going on behind him. It’s looks like the trees are falling in, and there’s much more green than brown. They aren’t Tsukaerus, no, it’s a different shade of green, a forest green shade that covers the leaves of trees--

Hongbin lunges toward Taekwoon, grabbing onto anything he can that’s on him. His fingers lock around the hem of his shirt. “That’s not warfare!” he yells.

Taekwoon stumbles when Hongbin takes off. He gets back up on his feet and runs behind him. “Are the trees--”

“Collapsing?” he answers, letting go of the other’s shirt, “Yes!”

The ground rumbles as they run, making Hongbin lose some of his focus. Branches rain on top of them, some scratching Hongbin’s exposed skin. They fall like waves hitting the beach, except waves get calmer as they reach the shore. But this? 

This is straight up terrifying. He’s never ran from  _ trees _ . He’s never thought he would have to.

They  _ barely _ miss trees as they escape. Hongbin leads, warning Taekwoon when an upcoming branch to jump over is there. Taekwoon tells him when to speed up when there’s a tree falling at a faster pace.

After running for some minutes, the cracking noise stops and they both agree they’re safe to rest.

“Is that normal?” Taekwoon asks, breath hitching. “Trees falling? In the forest?”

“Uh, no.” Hongbin sits on the dirt and releases a shaky breath. “But it meant Tsukaerus were near. They could have been testing a bomb or something.”

Silence.

“And if they were blue coats?”

Hongbin rolls his eyes. “We don’t test in the forest.”

Taekwoon sits directly across him, pulling down his sleeves so that they cover his wrists. “I don’t think I can sleep after that.”

Hongbin scoffs. “Try dealing with that all the time.”

Taekwoon scoffs back. “You think I don’t?”

How could he compare? 

“Your face says you think I don’t.”

“You’re good at reading faces.”

“You see? That’s the problem.” Taekwoon crosses his arms. Is he cold? “Why do you think I left Tsukaeru? Because I deal with it  _ all the time. _ It’s  _ this _ country that declared war on it, isn’t it? This place is a safe haven compared to Tsukaeru. But, no, you can’t see anything past what’s happening. You were trained to hate the enemy. I get that, really. My parents are in the army”-- _ huh? _ \--“and they hate your fucking guts. It sucks. I left my  _ parents _ so I could find a better place to just live. They’re really out there, fighting for a country we’re not even from. I don’t know if they’re dead, but I have to push forward anyways.”

Hongbin had never really thought about the situation in Tsukaeru. He was more focused on Nari-Seung and taking care of his people.

“Did you get to see your family?” Hongbin asks, almost ashamed of his comment earlier. “Before you left?”

Taekwoon nods. “They knew I was leaving. I always complained about the war and-and was  _ angry _ about both nations. We had dinner and I left on a boat.”

Hongbin fills his lungs with the cold air.

“And you?”

Hongbin stiffens.

“What about your family?”

_ How dare he? _ is the first thing he thinks. Hongbin avoids thinking about them….why talk about them?

But something in him urges to. He  _ should _ talk about them. No one in the army talks about their family because it’s a sensitive topic. Therefore, he should let it out. All that he’s feeling, to this guy he has to take care of for a while. He’s not in the army. He’s already talked about his family to him.

Hongbin trusts Taekwoon.

“Uhm,” he staggers. “Uh, so….here, in Nari-Seung, you can’t just sign up for the army. It’s almost like a raffle. You get chosen, you get chose, and that’s it. It’s like that because in return for being in the army, the king will take care of your family. Everyone wants to make sure their family is safe in war, so everyone signed up. I waited a year to be chosen. They told me, gave my family a couple hours to pack up, and after, we said our goodbyes. I gave my mom the  _ longest _ hug.” His voice cracks. “I-It’s  _ just _ her. My sisters are both married off. Their husbands are in the army, so they’re safe too, but I don’t know if they’re with my mom. I promised I’d see her when it’s all over.”

“How long has it been?”

“I-I don’t know,” he confesses.

Hongbin bites his quivering lip and lies down.

“I’m sorry.”

Hongbin shuts his eyes. “Goodnight.”

******

“Favorite food?” Taekwoon asks randomly.

“What?”

“Favorite food. What’s your favorite food?”

“Why?”

“Because it’s the only way we’re going to be entertained.”

“I don’t need to be entertained.”

Taekwoon pouts.

“...Spaghetti.”

Taekwoon laughs. “I like coffee.”

“That’s a drink!” Hongbin argues.

“I consume it, so it’s food.”

******

The sun’s scorching rays have bothered Hongbin for a total of fourteen days.

“Are you going to tell me about the letter?” Taekwoon asks.

“No.”

******

“Favorite color?”

“Mmm,” Hongbin ponders. “Navy? Or green.”

“Mine is black.”

“Why?”

Taekwoon shrugs.

******

“Sports?”

“Basketball.”

“Soccer!”

“No, basketball.”

“Soccer!”

“ _ Basketball. _ ”

“ _ SOCCER.” _

_ ****** _

“Birthday?”

Hongbin glares at Taekwoon. “No.”

“I won’t blackmail you or anything.”

“No.”

“Mine is November tenth.”

“Now I can blackmail you.”

Taekwoon rolls his eyes. “You won’t. I told you because I trust you.”

Hongbin sighs. “And why’s that?”

“You’ve taken care of me for months, and I haven’t escaped.”

Hongbin feels the urge to smile, but doesn’t. “I’ll tell you later.”

******

“So...that letter?”

Hongbin grunts.

******

“What made you rip it up?”

“Stop asking me questions.”

******

“You’re counting the days, right?”

Hongbin nods.

“So, how many days since we left?”

“Twenty.”

“You ripped that letter into more than twenty pieces.”

“Shut up.”

******

“One detail from the letter?”

Hongbin glares at him.

Taekwoon has just changed back into his dirty clothes after taking a quick rinse in the little pond they found. The white shirt he wore under his black windbreaker is brown now, along with the blue jeans. His hair is parted to the right and sits flat on his scalp, glistening in the light thanks to the dampness.

“Is there anyway I can avoid telling you?” Hongbin sighs, letting his arms fall over his crossed legs. Taekwoon, at first, could care less about the letter, but now it’s obviously eating at his brain. “Any way without you being more pestering?”

Taekwoon shakes his head.

“Then no.”

“Oh, c’mon! It was delivered by a  _ hawk! _ You have to tell me.”

Hongbin scoffs. “That doesn’t give you _ the one _ detail you want?”

Taekwoon raises his eyebrow.

“Seriously, you can’t think of anybody who would send me a letter through a hawk? You already concluded it wasn’t from the army. Anybody who had the resources, no matter  _ where _ , would have the money to send a hawk.”

Taekwoon’s face shallows. “The king?”

“There ya go.”

Taekwoon sits across from him--he usually does. “What’d he tell you?”

“He gave me an update.”  _ Dammit _ . How can he just let more details slip out? Is this what it feels like to trust someone so...easily?

“On?”

Hongbin draws the line.  _ Oh, you know, just that he got the most notorious doctor who is really good at making torture devices to work on the experiment he wants you for! Therefore I’m questioning the humanity of this experiment and maybe sending you to your death. But, no biggie, I’ve sent a lot of Tsukaerus to their death.  _ “Stuff.”

Taekwoon purses his lips. “ _ On? _ ” he repeats.

“If I told you, you’d hate King Jaehwan,” he says, doing his best to zip up the truth, “and you don’t really know him, so I don’t want you having any opinions yet.”

“Right,” the other says, unconvinced. “I already hate him. He declared war on Tsukaeru and for some reason he wants me.”

“Yeah, but you don’t know him  _ personally _ . A lot of people don’t, but I do. I had to meet with him to get the mission to take you, I had to talk to him to let him know I  _ had _ you, and then I had to talk to him about him being General of the Armies, and now he’s sending me  _ letters _ . I was never really fond of the guy.”  _ Here he goes.  _ “Yeah, he declared war, but no one really knew why. No one even knows about what happened the moments before we lost democracy and became a monarchy, but he  _ told _ me what went down. And from that moment on I kind of have a feeling of hatred for the king, because it’s so  _ fucking ridiculous _ . And he’s childish and-and self-centered. He’s just looking out for his own personal wealth and pride.”

Taekwoon nods his head very, very, slowly. He looks up at the sky, whose purple and orange hues cool down the color of the trees surrounding them.

“You’re easy to talk to, Taekwoon.”

Taekwoon smiles.

And,  _ my God _ , it’s genuine.

******

“Things you find precious?”

Hongbin furrows his brows. “What?”

“Things you find precious,” Taekwoon repeats. “Like dogs or cats or babies. Things you hold close to your heart.”

“That’s the cheesiest thing you’ve ever asked me. And you’ve asked me a lot.”

“It isn’t hard to think of.”

“My family.”

It was an easy answer. He thought he’d be asking something like “how old are you?” or “did you own any animals?” But this is fine too. He’s got an answer.

“Memories.”

“Memories?” he repeats.

“Yeah. I think memories are precious. Or at least mine are. It’s got my old life and my family in them.”

“I see where you’re coming from.”

He never thought about that. The value of his memories, what they carry, how much life is invested in them. They’re precious.

“I wouldn’t want to lose them,” Taekwoon continues. “They’re all I have left.”

******

The sun beats down on them the next day, as usual. Hongbin carries the satchel today because Taekwoon’s complained subtly about it. The same items are in it as there were when they left camp: the knife, some antiseptic wipes, the remaining matches they  _ haven’t  _ used, and...a needle and thread? Latex gloves…?

They took Hakyeon’s satchel. The needle, the thread, the gloves--they’re all evidence of him learning  _ medical _ things from Nayoung.

Hongbin mentally beats himself up as they walk. First, they’re on bad terms, second, he takes his satchel. It’s Hakyeon’s go-to item.

Hongbin looks through the nooks and crannies of the bag and smirks as he finds candy wrappers and coins in them.

“That reminds me,” Taekwoon chimes in, looking at him glaring inside the satchel, “I thought you didn’t know how to stitch or anything. What’s with the needle and thread? And gloves? Who needs gloves in the forest?”

“It’s not mine,” he replies. “The satchel, it’s Hakyeon’s. I took Hakyeon’s satchel by accident.”

“Last time you two were arguing.” Taekwoon frowns. “He made you seem worthless because you had feelings.”

Hongbin sighs. “Since he found out about you, I guess it meant I could...check on you more freely? That probably got to him. We used to talk all the time but ever since Nayoung’s come in, he’s been focused on her, and I’ve been focused on you. I’ve made conversation with him but it’s awkward and both of us aren’t really making any  _ effort  _ to get back--”

Hongbin feels gravity push his body down towards the ground, his foot getting caught under a log. Before he feels the impact with the ground, a pair of arms slip under his armpits and hold him up.

He looks down at the ground, pupils dilated, and then up at Taekwoon, who stopped his fall after his careless trip. Taekwoon tries to conceal his laughter by pursing his lips together. Hongbin’s eyes return to their normal size and he furrows his brows down. Taekwoon slowly pushes him back up and gives a little giggle.

Why is he giggling.

“ _ Anyways _ ,” he says, annoyance lacing his voice, “we’re slipping away. And...I don’t like it.”

“Maybe you should try to fix it,” he suggests, kicking the dirt on the ground as he walks. “I don’t think it’ll hurt. He’s pursuing a romantic relationship with Nayoung, while you two have a mere friendship. Should be easy to fix if he can set his priorities.”

Hongbin thinks about that. It is just Hakyeon trying to fix his priorities. If he feels strongly about Nayoung, then he can make her his top priority--as long as they can still manage to be friends in their tent, where they live together.

“It means you’ll have to set priorities too.”

Hongbin looks at him from the corner of his eyes.

“Your friendship with Hakyeon and your friendship with me.”

Hongbin’s heart lifted into his throat.  _ Friends? _ He just called them friends. Are they friends?

“F-Friends?” he stutters.

“I mean, at this point, we’ve known each other for two months? And we’ve barely started talking, but I consider us friends. Am I your friend?”

Another  _ friend _ .

Taekwoon is easy to talk to. He’s realized that. He’s told him more about himself than what he’s probably told Hakyeon. They’re two very different people with different ideas. Hakyeon and Hongbin had a mutual agreement to avoid a lot of topics--ones that make each of them who they are. Hongbin’s talked a little about himself, life in the army, and so on. They know little things about each other, things that most people wouldn’t  _ care _ about. Taekwoon’s said that he trusts Hongbin.

Hongbin won’t let himself admit the same to him though.

Hongbin nods and feels his face muscles working at something. His cheeks are moving and his eyes get smaller, and in his head, he’s really confused about what’s going on.

But Taekwoon does something that he’s only seen him do a few times. He smiles.

No, he smiles  _ back _ at Hongbin.

“I’ve never seen you smile, Hongbin,” he compliments. “I really like it.”

Before Hongbin can fight him about his compliment, he hears a loud rustle in the bushes around them. Both of them stand still, and by instinct, Hongbin shields Taekwoon.

_ Beep. Beep. Beep. _

Hongbin looks over his shoulder to Taekwoon, who is looking around for the source of sound.

“It’s the same beep from that night,” Taekwoon whispers. “It’s not as loud though.”

“Stay behind me.”

Taekwoon follows his orders, but after a couple of minutes, there’s no point to do so. The rustling stops and the beeping becomes softer. Hongbin stays aware, despite the lack of movement.

“Look, I can move now,” Taekwoon whispers. “It’s safe.”

“No, no you’re not,” Hongbin disagrees. 

“It’s been silent for a while, Hongbin.”

“No, you don’t know if that’s true.” He shuffles in front of Taekwoon, who desperately tries to get out of his shield.

“Hongbin, let me  _ go _ .”

He refuses every time. Taekwoon is frustrated and attempts to throw a punch at him, but misses. He tries and tries again, making Hongbin more tired than he already is. When his fist gets too close to his face, he grabs it and faces him. “ _ Stop _ .”

Taekwoon’s fist clenches more in his grip.

In that moment, the beeping returns, but this is the loudest he’s ever heard it--not because it’s volume has increased, but because it’s  _ closer _ to him. Taekwoon curses under his breath. “I hate when you’re right,” he mutters.

Hongbin furrows his brows in concentration. He looks around, trying to find an explanation for the closeness of the sound. How could something so loud be so invisible? The only thing close to him is Taekwoon, and the beeping couldn’t…. _ possibly _ ….?

Hongbin pulls Taekwoon’s arm closer to him and stares right at the scar. He glides his index finger over it.

“What are you doing?” Taekwoon sternly says. “Hongbin,  _ what _ are you--”

Hongbin puts the scar right next to his ear, causing the other to complain. “Hey,  _ stop _ , stop, stop--”

_ BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. _

Hongbin glares at him. Taekwoon’s eyes look like they’re shaking violently.

He tries to pull away swiftly, but Hongbin is much quicker than that. His hold on him tightens, making Taekwoon squirm. He sweeps his right foot under Taekwoon’s legs and knocks him down, the other groaning as his back hits the ground. Hongbin kneels down to his side, holding his arm rather than his fist.

“We can’t do anything about it,” Taekwoon says, voice shaking with every syllable. “I-I swear I didn’t know it was in there, Hongbin, I  _ swear _ .”

He believes him. “We have to do something,” Hongbin says. “A Tsukaeru put this in you, and we don’t know what it does.”

“W-We can’t get it out,” he mumbles in fear.

Hongbin bites his lower lip and looks around. If Haebin could perform something like heart surgery with a porcupine needle and horse hair, then Hongbin could find a way to take a device out of Taekwoon’s arm. It can’t be that hard, stitching skin, and he’s  _ sure _ he can find some sort of needle--

Hongbin’s hand moves down to the satchel. Thread, needle, knife, antiseptic wipes,  _ gloves _ \--oh, he is gonna thank Hakyeon when he sees him.

“No no no no no,” Taekwoon protests. “No,  _ no _ , you are  _ not _ \--”

“Look, we have to get it out of you, Taekwoon.”

“No, you shouldn’t even be  _ touching _ that because a professional didn’t even work on it! I-It’s a  _ miracle _ that it even  _ worked _ .”

Hongbin takes out a wipe from the bag and rubs it on the spot. Taekwoon shakes his head, attempting to move his arm away from him. Hongbin holds it steady. He manages to get one glove on with nothing but his fingers. His gloved hand holds the other’s arm as he puts on the other one.

“If you don’t stay still, it’ll hurt more,” Hongbin warns.

“ _ You  _ don’t even know how to--”

“ _ Trust me _ ,” he pleads. He looks right into his eyes, hoping that the concern in them is enough. “ _ Please _ .”

Taekwoon nods very,  _ very _ slowly. His arm relaxes.

Hongbin takes out the needle, thread, and knife. He gives the bag to Taekwoon. “It should work as a gag.”

Taekwoon bites down on the bag, trying his best to seem unafraid.

It’s not working for him.

Luckily, the thread is already in the needle. All Hongbin does is tie the end.

Hongbin takes a deep breath as he holds the knife. This can’t be the craziest thing he’s ever done. There has to be crazier. He’s been in the army for a while, he’s killed people in ways he didn’t even know he could. Cutting someone’s arm up to take some beeping thing out isn’t at the top of the list. Maybe a close second,  _ maybe _ .

But he’s confident. He’s confident because Taekwoon  _ trusts _ him. They’ve built a friendship based off of trust, and Hongbin feels really good about that. To let him, someone with zero medical knowledge, cut his arm up--that’s some crazy form of trust that he has never seen.

Hongbin slits the skin in an almost perfect line. A pool of blood ascends from the wound. He hears the other grunt, but he holds in his pain.

The beeping is louder than any noise Taekwoon will make. He can’t see anything past the blood, so he realizes what he has to do.

“I’m sorry,” Hongbin whispers, looking up at Taekwoon. The other’s face becomes full of questioning, not aware of what course he’s going to take.

Hongbin averts his eyes and digs two fingers into the wound.

Taekwoon’s muffled screams are terrible. He feels guilt immediately, but he knows that what he’s doing is the best for him.

His fingers slide over something cold and metal. He manages to get it between his two fingers and he pulls it out.

A little square, the size of a computer chip, is covered in Taekwoon’s blood. Hongbin looks at it, then places it right next to him. He grabs another wipe, cleans up the blood from the cut, and gets to stitching.

Hongbin is thankful that it’s easier than it looks.

Taekwoon is left breathing heavily, the bag out of his mouth and resting on his chin as he shuts his eyes.

Hongbin takes off one glove, and with his other gloved hand, he holds up the chip.

“What is this?” Hongbin asks, the beeping still going off.

Taekwoon doesn’t answer.

He examines the little square. He tries to clean it up with his glove. It does little.

What do Tsukaerus do with a little metal square? And what use could it be to them? And why make it beep so  _ annoyingly _ ? And why put it in someone? Why put it in Taekwoon? Why attack Taekwoon? What is it that they want with him? Is Taekwoon a  _ weapon _ \--

The chip vibrates. Hongbin’s eyes widen. He places the chip on his open palm.

It vibrates much more violently, heat moving through his glove. The chip evolves, doubles in its size and elongates. Hongbin throws it on the ground,  _ just _ in case it explodes.

It grows and it  _ morphs _ and then it  _ moves _ . It’s got four skinny legs and a rectangular body. The blood flows off the object, leaving it squeaky clean and silver. It climbs up Taekwoon’s arm, making Hongbin lunge at it. He smacks it off, takes his P-157 out of his jacket, and shoots it three times.

It stops moving, and then bursts. A flash of light temporarily blinds him, but no debris is left.

“Taekwoon” is the first word out his mouth. He looks at him and holds his arm. His eyes are still closed, but he’s breathing.

“S-something b-bit me?” he mumbles.

Hongbin looks at his arm and sees a purple dot on his wrist. Is that what it did? It bit him? He’s so confused.

“What bit me?”

“Uh,” Hongbin stumbles on his words, “don’t-don’t worry about it. Everything’s okay.”

******

Taekwoon felt a little odd after Hongbin cut him up, but then again, he was left with an open wound before.

Soon enough he was able to walk with Hongbin for a long period of time. They couldn’t talk as they did, for it tired him out and gave him a headache, but Hongbin was happy to have him up and going.

Taking care of Taekwoon made some part of Hongbin  _ something _ like happy. “Happy” wasn’t the right term, maybe because he doesn’t really remember what it was like to be happy, but it felt more than just “happy” to him. Joyful, maybe, but it just sounds like a happier version of happy. Ecstatic was too much--he wasn’t ecstatic.

He felt fortunate.

Fortunate because he was useful. Useful for something  _ other _ than killing. He could take care of someone, which is something that he’s been wanting to do more of since he had to let go of his family. Fortunate he could take care of someone like Taekwoon. It didn’t feel like a chore. He  _ really  _ wanted to take care of him because, he must admit to himself, he cares for him. The way he cares for his family, and hell, he never thought that there would ever be anyone he would care about that much.

God, he was fortunate. He was so  _ fucking fortunate. _

“Can we stop walking?” Taekwoon asks, breathing harder than he was a few minutes ago.

Hongbin nods, then proceeds to stretching his back and cracking his neck. Taekwoon sits on a log.

“When we find the troop,” Taekwoon says, “what are you going to tell Lieutenant Kim?”

Hongbin raises a brow. “Nothing. What does he need to know about?”

“Well, the beeping device, the falling trees, a reason why we’ve been gone for, like,  _ a month? _ ”

“He doesn’t need to know about it.” He waves it off.

Taekwoon’s shoulder droop. “Tell him about the device at least.”

“ _ No, _ ” Hongbin says, more defensive than he thought it would come out. “If he finds out about it, he won’t want you to even be near the troop.”

“I don’t think you should be the one to say how he’ll react.”

“I  _ should _ be. He knows nothing about you. He’s our lieutenant, so you should  _ expect _ him to react poorly to you being attacked by a Tsukaeru. Having some device in your arm isn’t going to help.”

“I’m just saying--”

“No. If I tell him, he’ll make sure the troop has nothing to do with you. I won’t allow that. My duty to the king is to protect you and take you to him.”

When he looks at him, he sees that genuine smile of his. He’s seen it more since the first time, and it always lifts his spirits.

“Stop smiling,” he commands.

“You  _ hate _ the king,” the other states.

He doesn’t reply.

“Why would you continue to do what he assigned you if you hate him?”

He doesn’t have an answer for that. Taekwoon’s right, he just can’t find a reason--

“Stop using that as your excuse.”

“I-I do  _ not _ \--it’s…,” he stammers, “it’s not an excuse.”

Taekwoon rolls his eyes.

Right then, a loud screech echoes through the air. They both crane their head up, trying to find the source, but are unlucky. The sky is as blue as it was before.

“That’s not good.”

“No,” Hongbin disagrees, shaking his head. “No, it’s  _ fantastic _ .”

“A loud screech, in the middle of nowhere, is fantastic?”

A grin creeps up on his face. He’s waited for this for a while. For a  _ month _ .

“Hongbin, what is it?”

“War.” He jogs up to Taekwoon and holds his hand, helping him up.

“Yeah, that’s  _ not fantastic _ .”

“Yes it is. It means there’s troops nearby.”

******

Hongbin holds a tight grip on Taekwoon’s hand, not wanting to lose him at a battle sight nor wanting to lose the warmth he’s getting from him. His fingers lock with his, ensuring that they won’t slip away. He still likes this feeling--the protective feeling that Taekwoon let’s him have. He likes the whole  _ “I can protect you!! Me!! I can!!”  _ and to top it off, he  _ trusts  _ him. Taekwoon told him he trusted him, and the more he thought about it, the more he realized he didn’t just  _ like _ the feeling.

He  _ loved  _ it.  _ He was so fucking fortunate. _

Hongbin hides them behind a tree each time they take a couple steps. He knows they’re close because of the smell of that disgusting gunpowder.

Taekwoon tugs at his shirt with his free hand.

Hongbin looks at him and whispers, “What?”

“I see someone.”

Hongbin looks around the tree they’re hiding behind and sees the back of someone wearing green. That protective instinct kicks in again and he pulls Taekwoon closer to him. He was  _ not  _ going to let another Tsukaeru get to Taekwoon.

The green coat stands idly by, probably waiting for something but doing a poor job of being a soldier. A good soldier is aware of their surroundings and is ready to take action when necessary. This guy? He’s gonna die soon if he continues like this.

“Don’t pull out your gun,” Taekwoon whispers. “I won’t let you.”

Hongbin gives a sly grin. “He’s not dangerous.”

Hongbin continues to look at the green coat, wanting to burst out in laughter. He really was clueless, wasn’t he?

Before he decides to take action and continue moving on, the soldier moves at the sound of a branch breaking.

At least he noticed  _ that _ .

Hongbin stays still. Gradually, he places his back against the trunk of the tree and looks directly into Taekwoon’s blue eyes. They looked nervous,  _ just _ a little. He would know--Hongbin’s had that very same look in his eyes before too.

“Don’t worry,” Hongbin whispers reassuringly.

Taekwoon glances down at his arm. Hongbin places his hand on his shoulder.

“Really, you don’t need to worry, I’ve got--”

_ Crack crack crack crack _ .

He hears the soldier whimper and start running. He’s not sure which way, but a pinch of worry starts to grow in Hongbin.

There’s more cracking and a rumbling sound, like more than  _ one  _ person running, and then there’s yelling and that when he hears it again.

The loud screeching noise.

Suddenly his long memory of dangerous weapons and their individual sounds comes running into his brain. A P-157 makes a small  _ boom _ , the sniper Mina carries is quiet but if you’re carrying it, it’s like getting whacked in the head, and a R-173 can temporarily pop your ears, and that G-64 grenade, that  _ annoying,  _ absolutely  _ annoying _ loud screech--

Hongbin’s eyes widen, seeing the fear in Taekwoon rise to a new high, and he takes action. He pulls Taekwoon into his chest, both hands on his back so he can keep him close, turns him around so his back is on the trunk instead of his, and waits for impact.

A large gust of wind passes through, knocking branches off and making leaves swirl up into the air. It flies around the tree, not being able to touch them, but still making Hongbin’s eyes close. He holds Taekwoon tighter against him and buries the other’s head into the crook of his neck. He feels Taekwoon’s hands press against his lower back, pushing him closer.

_ Not an explosive G-64 _ , he thinks.  _ Nothing’s gonna burn. _

Hongbin opens his eyes to look around them. The yelling and running continues and before he knows it, a pack of green coats are running in front of the tree they’re hiding behind. Hongbin stares at them from the left of the tree, making sure his face is well hidden. Some point their guns aimlessly behind them.

He sees another pack of green coats running  _ towards _ Taekwoon and him, but they turn to their right to follow the other pack. There must be more than a hundred soldiers passing by them.

Hongbin switches his attention to the right side of the tree, hoping to see the last of the Tsukaerus running through.

No one else comes.

“Are you okay?” he asks Taekwoon, looking down at him.

Taekwoon lifts his head from his shoulder, nodding back at him. Hongbin slides one of his hands up into Taekwoon’s fluffy hair, greasy and filled with dirt. He lets him go quickly. “They’re all gone.”

“What was that?” Taekwoon pats his clothes down after removing his hands from Hongbin’s back. Hongbin feels a little cold.

“G-64. It wasn’t a dangerous one--just a big gust of wind. I guess they didn’t use an explosive one because they wanted something they have--”

“We should have blown them up!” a distant voice yells. “They tried taking  _ our _ big free space!”

“If we blew it up, then we wouldn’t  _ have _ this big free space,” another voice spats back.

“They sound familiar,” Taekwoon whispers.

Hongin hovers over Taekwoon and leans his hands on the tree. He glares towards the area the green coats came running towards and waits.

“Then we could have at least  _ shot _ at them.” Hongbin confirms it as a female voice as it gets closer. “A few dead Tsukaerus doesn’t hurt?”

“You’re only saying that because you’re a sniper.” The voice that answers back is also female.

“ _ Ha ha ha _ ,” the voice sings out, laced with sarcasm.

Two bodies step out into the open area ahead of them, making Hongbin smile a little. He isn’t close to any of the girls in the troop, but seeing Mina and Hyeyeon gives him such happiness.

“Look at  _ that! _ They’re all gone!” Mina cheers. “Lieutenant Kim!”

Taekwoon’s head shoots up. “ _ Our troop, _ ” he whispers.

Hongbin holds Taekwoon’s hand and drags him quietly to another tree, a little farther than before.

“Why are you backing away?” Taekwoon asks.

“Because they don’t know about you,” Hongbin replies, looking up at the new tree they’re hiding behind. It’s branches spread out a little lower than the rest, but it’s just as tall and sturdy. He puts the gun inside his jacket into the satchel and hands it to him. “Climb the tree.”

He locks his fingers together, gets down on one knee, and looks up at Taekwoon. “You can climb trees, right?”

Taekwoon looks down at him, his mouth agape and his eyes wide. He blinks and snaps out of it, quickly nodding his head. He places his foot in the palms of Hongbin’s hands, his hands grabbing at the lowest branch he can reach. Hongbin pushes him up with ease, years of training making lifting anything quite easy. Taekwoon’s free foot finds its place and within seconds, he’s already at least two feet above Hongbin.

“Stay there till I come get you back,” he tells him. “It’ll probably be late, but you’ve endured worse.”

Taekwoon gives him a firm nod.

“Stay safe.”

“You too.”

Hongbin walks away from the tree.

He hates having to leave him like this.

******

When Hongbin “stumbled” into the set-up camp (it was all an act, he just wanted to seem like being without the troop for weeks left him unstable), he was met with gasps and the medics running straight up to him. He looked around for Lieutenant Kim and Hakyeon, hoping that they didn’t see him like this. He found Lieutenant Kim’s gaze piercing through him and felt Hakyeon’s arms lift him up. He gave a sheepish smile to Hakyeon, whose facial expression responded as startled.

“Hakyeon, he isn’t--” Nayoung started.

“I’ll take care of him,” Hakyeon interjected. “We have to talk anyways.”

He dragged Hakyeon’s arm over his shoulder and whispered in his ear, “You smile?”

Now, Hongbin looks up at Hakyeon on his cot, attending to his little wounds. Some of them sting, but he knows he shouldn’t complain. He didn’t get his forearm cut open twice, or get bitten by some mysterious device, or get stitched up by two amateurs. He didn’t have trouble walking, nor was he at any time in these weeks defenseless and untrained.

“How’d the troop get away from the Tsukaerus?” Hongbin asks. “I saw all the same troop members from before. No one got taken away? I remember them arresting some and scavenging through tents.”

“They looked through every single tent,” he tells, “and arrested  _ everyone _ . Even Lieutenant Kim. We couldn’t do anything. We weren’t even armed. Once they looked through every tent, though, they left. Empty handed. No shots were fired, no lives lost, nothing. It was weird.”

They were looking for Taekwoon. They  _ had _ to be.

“How were your free weeks?” Hakyeon asks, cleaning up a wound on his leg.

“Not so free,” Hongbin mutters. “How were your weeks free from me? I’d imagine great, since you were a lil’ pissed.”

Hakyeon sighs. “Let’s talk about it.”

“No, let’s do that later.”

“No, let’s do that now. I go first.” He ditches the cloth he was using and grabs another from a kit, drenching it with some liquid and switching his attention to a cut. “What I said to you that night was wrong of me to do. I  _ was _ jealous. In my defense, I had every right to be so, but I think I looked at it from the wrong point of view. Taekwoon is  _ very _ different from me. I, to this day, don’t know him too well, but I figured it out after having to listen to some of your conversations. He’s easy for you to talk to. And I’m not the best to do that with. It can be because we’re always traveling or dealing with Tsukaerus--whatever excuse it is, it’s a good one. We’re not exactly prohibited from talking about our feelings, but we don’t do it because it’s not something we want to do or we want to remain strong. I’m sorry I invalidated your feelings.”

Hongbin closes his eyes. Taekwoon told him that talking it out is the way to go and that they have to set their priorities straight. “Yeah, it was jealously,” Hongbin agrees, “but there’s a reason why we stopped talking. You started trying to get at Nayoung, so I just stayed back with Taekwoon. You can pursue her, but when you did, it kinda felt like you forgot about me. Me with Taekwoon, you with Nayoung...it created a sort of imbalance. Now that I think about it, I’m okay with it. Nayoung is a romantic relationship that you see some future in, and you should take as much time trying to get there as you need. Just don’t overdo it.”

Hakyeon laughs. “I really  _ do _ like her.”

“Anything happen while I was gone?”

“Suave flirting is all.”

Hongbin rolls his eyes.

Hakyeon purses his lips. “I missed you, Bean. I worried about you.”

Hongbin was relieved to hear that. He didn’t want to lose Hakyeon, not over some stupid misunderstandings. Hongbin smiles at him.

“What’s with that!” He points at his lips. “You don’t smile!  _ Ever! _ Why are you doing that?!”

“I smile,” Hongbin defends.

“No you don’t. You leave the troop for a while and now you’re smiling.”

“And?”

“I bet you it has something to do with Taekwoon.”

Hongbin shoots up in his bed, shushing Hakyeon and slapping a hand over his mouth. He licks his palm and Hongbin puts his hand down. “Don’t do that, it’s gross.”

“What happened with Taekwoon?” He switches his attention to a purple bruise on his arm.

“A lot,” he groans. “All I did was protect him.”

“Why’d you do that?”

Hongbin sighs. He’s really wanted to talk about this. After being with Taekwoon, he realized that he  _ hates _ keeping things bottled up. Talking to Taekwoon solved that.

But he couldn’t talk to Taekwoon about what he was about to tell Hakyeon. Not yet, at least.

“The king is  _ anxious _ . He really wants Taekwoon and I’m not sure why. It’s scaring me. He sent me a letter,  _ in the middle of the fucking forest _ , with a  _ fucking hawk, _ and told me he has Dr. Han Sanghyuk making some _ thing  _ for him.”

Hakyeon stops attending to the bruise to look at him. “He got your enemy to work on Taekwoon? What’s he gonna do?”

“King Jaehwan said he wanted him for an experiment.” He releases a shaky breath. “But I’m not comfortable about it anymore. I don’t wanna take him.” He straightens up. “I  _ won’t _ take him.”

“Bean, you  _ have  _ to.”

Hongbin gives him a skeptical look. “Give me a reason.”

“You can’t just hide him in our tent, or in a  _ tree _ , forever.”

Hongbin bites his lower lip.

“You’re in the army. You have to protect the people of Nari-Seung. If you don’t take him, the king is gonna be on your ass forever. He’s gonna catch up with what you’re doing and then he’s gonna hurt you. You said yourself he’s anxious. He clearly  _ needs _ him. You have  _ one _ job.”

“I won’t let him go. I...I  _ can’t _ \--”

_ Loud _ . Loud boom. But not a sound he knows. Only a sound he’s heard a couple of times.

Hakyeon and Hongbin look toward the entrance of their tent. The orange tint of the sun setting bleeds through and dances across their faces.

Then they hear screaming.

Hakyeon and Hongbin get up and grab the guns at the end of the tent.

The smell hits them right as they step outside. It’s gross--Hongbin’s  _ never _ liked the smell of gunpowder. He grips his gun as he sees the small group of green coats come in. Not all the ones he saw earlier are here, thankfully, but there was enough for their troop to take on.

“I missed doing this with you,” Hakyeon says beside him.

Hongbin doesn’t smile.

He doesn’t  _ want _ to fight. The weight of the gun in his hands feels  _ wrong. _  He doesn’t want to kill. Yes, he’s done the most of it out of  _ everyone _ , but he doesn’t want to anymore. Someone else can take his title, break his record, do whatever they want.

But carrying the gun, aiming the gun,  _ shooting _ the gun has become human nature on his part.

He runs, gripping it tighter.

******

That night, he goes back to the tree Taekwoon is in. He flashes a light up into the branches and finds a bright pair of blue eyes looking down at him.

Seeing those eyes lifted his spirits immediately. He felt his heart go into his throat. He resisted the urge to shuffle his feet forward and begin climbing up. He could stay in that tree with him for the rest of the time. The view would be much better than what was at the camp. Too much blood, and  _ hell _ , Taekwoon’s seen enough blood come from out of his  _ body _ . Why see some more?

Hongbin smiles up at him instead.

“Are you okay?” Taekwoon asks, his body shifting on the branch of the tree. “I heard a lot of shooting.”

“Uh, yeah, I’m good,” he lies. In reality, he felt like shit firing that gun. All from afar, behind a barricade, so that he lives and the others dies. He didn’t want to do it, but his brain told his fingers different. He shot until all the bodies were motionless. And  _ only _ Tsukaerus were dead. No casualties on their side. “You can come down, it’s safe. I have food for you back in the tent.”

“Thanks.” Taekwoon slowly climbs down, the dust on his clothes visible thanks to the flashlight. He lands on his two feet and smiles at Hongbin. “Thanks for  _ everything _ , actually. For all you did since we escaped.”

“D-Don’t worry about it.”

Hongbin’s heart races. Something tells him to hold Taekwoon in his arms and thank  _ him _ instead. All Hongbin did was keep him safe. Taekwoon  _ taught _ him things and opened him like a brand new book.

His face has that feel he’s slowly beginning to get used to--his smiling. It feels a little different.

Taekwoon hands him the satchel. “You’re grinning.”

“Yeah,” he laughs.  _ That’s what it is _ . “Yeah I am.”

“Are you happy?”

_ Oh fuck yeah _ . He’s ecstatic this time. He feels like a fucking toddler getting the newest toy. He feels like he just won the lottery. He feels like he won  _ freedom _ .

“Sure,” he says. He places his hand on his shoulder--that’s not too... _ ecstatic _ , right?---and grins wider.

He turns towards the camp, letting Taekwoon walk in front of him so that he can protect him from behind.

He may still need some of it.

They don’t make any small talk, though Hongbin’s tempted to ask how the tree was. Maybe he should have left him somewhere more comfortable? He’s sure he could have found something better, maybe even bring him a little something before the fighting broke out. That could have been his way of avoiding it.

He should tell Taekwoon about that. How he doesn’t want to fight. How he’s really fortunate to be around him, to  _ know _ him, to be good for something else. Maybe he should tell him about this feeling he’s having towards him, one that’s similar to the love he has towards his family? Will that make sense to him? Taekwoon isn’t family, but the love he’s feeling isn’t the same kind he’s had towards  _ anybody _ . Does he even have the  _ courage _ to tell--

His thoughts are interrupted when Taekwoon is dragged down to his right by a hand on the hem of his shirt. He doesn’t even have the time to make a noise in response.

“Taekwoon!” Hongbin runs towards his body on the ground. He pulls him up, using his foot to kick the hand off from his shirt. He manages to see the color of the sleeve on the mysterious arm in the night.

Green.

His hand flies towards the satchel, taking the gun in there. The hand reaches for Taekwoon and pulls hard on his pants, making him fall down again.

He aims the gun at the Tsukaeru, who has Taekwoon’s torso caged below his arm and a knife at his neck. He can’t see their facial features due to the lack of light provided by the moon. “Shoot me,” the Tsukaeru says, voice extremely hoarse, “and he goes too. Don’t”--she coughs--”and he stays.”

“What do you  _ want _ with me?” Taekwoon mumbles. The Tsukaeru digs her knife a little deeper, creating a small cut that oozes blood.

“I put the gun down and you put the knife down,” Hongbin bargains. He drops the gun and kicks it to the side. He doesn’t want anymore blood drawn from Taekwoon. Not ever again.

The green coat begins to lower the knife,  _ extremely slow. _ The handle rests in her palm at his side, but she doesn’t let it go.

Instead, she digs it into Taekwoon’s thigh.

Taekwoon muffles his yell, knowing that he  _ can’t _ make any noise. Hongbin lunges forward as the green coat takes the knife out, aiming it up at Hongbin.

But Hongbin isn’t stupid. He wouldn’t leave himself  _ defenseless _ .

His hand reaches into his jacket and pulls out his extra gun. He smacks the knife out of her hand quickly. Her palm must have been slippery or her entire body filled with fear because Hongbin wasn’t expecting it to just fall so easily.

His free hand clings the collar of the army coat and he points the gun at her head.

_ Shoot! Just shoot! _

Her  _ eyes _ .

Her eyes glisten in the night. Green and sparkling, but with dilated pupils. Her eyes  _ shake _ . Can eyes  _ shake? _

Her brows shoot up and her forehead scrunches. Sweat and dirt stains decorate her skin. Her chapped lips tremble and her voice disappears.

He’s been in that same position too. One of fear, where you’re not sure whether your life ends or continues at that moment. He’s seen it plastered on the faces of his troop members, on his lieutenant, and on Taekwoon late at night. 

But never on a Tsukaeru.

He’s never  _ seen _ a Tsukaeru so  _ close _ before. Never has he been close to an enemy. Taekwoon didn’t count--he didn’t act like the enemy and they were friends and, hell,  _ friends _ didn’t even seem like the right word to Hongbin. He couldn’t be  _ friends _ with a Tsukaeru. He couldn’t have that same feeling he has with his family and Taekwoon with a Tsukaeru.

You don’t look your enemy in the eye. He’s been lectured about that before. When you look them in the eye, you create sympathy, and you don’t do the job you were supposed to do. If you have no sympathy when you look in the enemy’s eyes, then you’re  _ great _ for the job, but dangerous anywhere outside of it. 

Sympathy. Hongbin had sympathy for a  _ Tsukaeru _ , a group of rampant greens who murdered his people and have caused him so many problems.

But Tsukaerus probably felt the same about Nari-Seung’s soldiers. A group of rampant blues who murdered their people and have cause them so many problems (he learned that from Taekwoon). 

Sympathy. Why was that?

_ She’s human, Hongbin! _ His head replied. _ Just like you! Just like Taekwoon and your mother and your sisters and Hakyeon and Lieutenant Kim! Like everyone in the troop! She has a  _ **_life_ ** _ , one that has so many more years to adventure. She doesn’t need to end like this. She has value. She is not just a Tsukaeru, she is  _ **_not_ ** _ just your enemy. _

_ She is  _ **_human_ ** _. _

Hongbin takes a deep inhale and shoots.

******

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) NEXT


	4. part three: the experiment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hongbin's need to protect goes through the roof.

Part 3

Hakyeon sleeps loudly, his snore roaring through their small tent. It’s loud enough to cover any kind of movement Hongbin takes, which he sees as an advantage right now. He needs to get out of this confined space. He feels wrong, so wrong, and some fresh air might just help him.

He tiptoes out of the tent in his grey hoodie and black sweatpants. The night air is chilly where they’re staying, which is a new phenomenon to him. Where Hongbin and Taekwoon had been traveling, it was only humid and sticky.

He doesn’t carry any defense today. If someone was going to launch out at him, he’d use his hands for protection. He doesn’t even want to look at a gun.

He walks behind their tent, going a little ways into the woods. He stuffs his hands in the pocket, attempting to keep them warm. He’s happy he can breathe a little now.

After he shot the Tsukaeru, Hongbin felt something takeover him. He had to take the whole night to figure out what it was.

It was guilt. Mixed with horror. And denial. It was awful.

The gun had fallen out of his hand after, just as the body went limp and he released her collar. He remembers Taekwoon scrambling away from her and seeing him glare at him from the corner of his eyes. Hongbin had focused on the body sprawled out in front of him, the blood oozing from her head and staining everything around it. His heart pounded loudly in his chest. He could hear it. Sweat stuck to his forehead. He felt himself shake.

Taekwoon had pushed him away from the body, forcing his eyesight away from her and back to him. His neck had a small trickle of blood. Hongbin dared to touch it with his finger, making Taekwoon assure him that it was nothing. “The knife was dull,” he had said. “Don’t worry.”

But he worried. He worried about what Taekwoon would think of him, about how this would affect the rest of his days in the army, about how this would affect the rest of his life. Suddenly, killing people wasn’t an easy task. Even from afar, he didn’t think he’d have the guts to do it. Would he ever be able to look at a Tsukaeru again, after the war ended? Would Taekwoon see him differently? Would he lose his trust? His friendship?

Hongbin shudders. He doesn’t want to think about it.

He stops in his tracks when he sees a little crouched body a couple feet in front of him. A brand new white hoodie covers the back of the person and he can see his black sweatpants.

“ _Mrow._ ”

He looks a little lower and finds floating green eyes looking at him. Hongbin gasps a little, making the crouched body turn towards him.

Blue eyes.

“Hongbin?” Taekwoon says, getting up from his position. “Hongbin, I--”

“What is _that?_ ” He points at the eyes.

“It’s a black cat,” he answers. “It was scratching at the back compartment, so I got out and checked on it. I wanted to pet it so I walked a little with it and did so.”

Hongbin scratches his head. “How’d you get out?”

“The back compartment is attached with little hooks,” he answers, “so I just took them out.”

“Oh.”

“ _Mrow._ ”

“Can you tell it to shut up?”

Taekwoon laughs. “Why don’t you come pet it?”

“I don’t want to.”

Taekwoon strides towards him and takes his hand. Hongbin’s eyes widen as he drags him down towards the cat. He places his hand over Hongbin’s and guides it over the cat’s back. It mewls into his touch, it's back arching high and tail straightening up.

It does relax him a little.

“It’s nice, isn’t it?” Taekwoon asks.

Hongbin nods. “Uh, how’s your thigh?”

“Much better. Wasn’t too deep of a cut and Hakyeon fixed it well.”

They pet the cat in quiet for some time, but as with all cats, it abandons them to venture off on its own. It leaves them two alone, something Hongbin wasn’t looking forward to.

“What you did last night,” Taekwoon starts. “It was--”

“Please don’t,” Hongbin stops. “Don’t say anything more.”

Hongbin sits on the floor, pulling his knees into his chest.

“You need to talk about it,” Taekwoon says, sitting down next to him. “I’m always willing to listen.”

Hongbin doesn’t wanna talk, Hongbin doesn’t wanna talk, Hongbin doesn’t wanna talk, Hongbin doesn’t wanna--

“Does it change the way you feel about me?” he asks. _Hongbin was gonna talk._ His curiosity got the better of him, and he loves spilling it out to Taekwoon.

“No,” Taekwoon says immediately. Hongbin glances at him. “I know your reasoning behind it. You were in immediate danger. You had every right to protect yourself.”

“I was _not_ in immediate danger,” Hongbin protests. “I knocked the knife out from her hand! She was defenseless! If anything, _I_ should have been shot by her!”

“Don’t say that.”

“It’s true, Taekwoon! I had the advantage and-and out of _human nature_ I shot her!” He puts his head in his hands. “I looked into her eyes and saw _life_. I looked and thought, hey, maybe she isn’t so different. Maybe she isn’t what I was taught to think of her as. We might share the same goals. We might miss our family. We-we might not _want_ to do this, but here we are! Fighting for the ones we love and risking ourselves for it. _My_ life should have been taken.”

“ _Don’t say that._ ”

“Me!” he shrieks. “ _Me!_ ”

Taekwoon’s arms surround him and pull him into his chest. Hongbin whimpers and wants to back away, but he feels right where he is. A sob climbs up his throat and he can’t help but let it out. His eyes water and he’s _crying_. Hongbin turns his head so that his forehead rests on Taekwoon’s collarbone.

This is how he was gonna talk. Through his tears. He was gonna let it all out through streams of tears. All the stress, the self-loathing, the worry, everything was gonna stain Taekwoon’s brand new hoodie. And neither of them cared.

Hongbin feels right at home in his arms. He lets his legs go and grasps at the strings of his hood instead.

“I didn’t want to do it, Taekwoon,” he confesses. “I didn’t want to shoot, I didn’t want to hurt anybody anymore, but I did. I did because I’m so used to it. Because I thought I needed to. I could have let her go with a threat or something, but I ended her life. I wanted to get back at her. I wanted to get back at her for cutting you. I wanted to get back at her for being a Tsukaeru. I wanted to get back at her for reasons she may have had no control over. And my only excuse is that this is war. I have to shoot the enemy when I can. I have to serve my country, I have to protect my people and my troop.” He takes a deep breath and chokes out the next words. “I just wanted to protect _you._ ”

Taekwoon rubs small circles into his back and rests his chin on the top of his head. Hongbin’s crying dies down and he’s left sniffling his snot back. He whispers an apology to Taekwoon, but the latter rejects it.

“What you did last night,” he continues from before. “It was necessary. You can tell yourself that it wasn’t, but you protected _me._ You’ve protected me so many times, but last night was the night you felt like you had to protect me at your best. And I’m thankful for it, okay?”

Hongbin looks up at him and purses his lips. That was a new way to look at it.

“Okay?” he asks again.

Hongbin continues looking. Something in him wants to reply, but he doesn’t know how.

“Hongbin?”

His lips find its way to Taekwoon’s.

 _Oh, you’ve done it,_ he thinks. _You’ve never even kissed someone before and here you are initiating one. Dumbass. You only kiss people like this when you’re aroused or in love. And you’re never aroused. You can’t be in love. You said you felt the same kind of love that you felt towards your family towards Taekwoon, but you told yourself it was different. And now here you are, kissing him, contemplating whether you’re in love with the guy you almost killed on the first day or simply like this way of replying to his question._

Hongbin pulls a centimeter away, blinking and looking down. In case he didn’t get the memo that, yes, it’s okay, he opens his mouth to talk when those same lips come crashing down on his again. His eyes widen when their teeth bump into each other, but closes them when he feels Taekwoon take his lower lip between his teeth. Hongbin’s surprised and backs away in the moment.

He looks up at Taekwoon. His heart beats thunderously in his chest, making him wonder if he can hear it too.

“I-I’m sorry,” Taekwoon stutters. “I-

“It’s okay.”

Taekwoon blinks. Hongbin sniffles and lets out a little laugh, making Taekwoon look more at ease in the darkness.

“I like you,” Taekwoon admits. “I have for a while, but I didn’t want to mess this up and I just wanted to help you--”

“It’s okay,” Hongbin repeats. He gets up and helps Taekwoon to his feet. “You should get back to the tent before the sun comes up.”

“Uh, yeah.” He pause and nods his head. “Yeah, I’ll go do that. Goodnight.”

Taekwoon takes off quickly, leaving Hongbin alone in the dead of the night.

_He!!!!!! Likes!!!!!!!!! Him!!!!!!!_

Hongbin bites the inside of his mouth. It excites him. He’s liked!

Oh, man, what does that make of _his_ feelings?

He’s told himself that what he feels towards Taekwoon is some kind of love. He didn’t let his want to protect him mask his true feelings. But the love was different from the platonic kind he has towards everyone else.

Taekwoon kissed him back! Hongbin kissed him first! Hongbin did! So that _has_ to mean something on his part. That he loves Taekwoon. Can he admit that to him?

Hongbin clenches his fist to avoid from expressing the excitement building up inside of him. He hasn’t felt this happy in a while. He didn’t think he could feel anything near happy tonight.

He walks off a little more to come down from his high. To have Taekwoon be there to comfort him and tell him everything is okay (even though it isn’t) helped him a bit.

Then reality comes crashing down on him.

He can’t love him. He has every right to, but something’s holding him back.

And it’s that fucking mission to the king.

He has to take him to King Jaehwan. Take him so he can be some _test subject._ What’s he gonna do with Taekwoon, huh? After he’s done with what he needs? Kill him? Let him go? Imprison him? He _has_ to know, he has to find out before he takes any further action. He can’t let him get hurt again.

“I don’t like him.”

Hongbin stops in his tracks and quickly hides behind a tree. He didn’t notice how far he had walked around the camp and now he was within the trees behind the girls’ tents. He looks around the trunk to see two girls standing in front of each other, one with her arms crossed over her chest and the other with her hands on her hips. It’s too dark to tell who it is, but the voice that responds is one he knows well enough, though he hasn’t been with the troop for a while.

“Look, I-I can’t do anything about that, Soyee,” Nayoung responds.

Nayoung takes her hands off her hips and steps closer to Soyee, who turns her head away.

“He’s always with you,” Soyee states. “When’s he gonna get the memo to leave you alone?”

“He’s my friend.”

“He’s not aiming to be your friend!”

“I won’t let Hakyeon be anything more than my friend.”

She wraps her arms around Soyee’s shoulders.

Hongbin feels like he’s intruding on something he shouldn’t be. He considers leaving, but his curiosity gets the better of him and he stays. The mention of Hakyeon keeps him grounded. He moves his head back and keeps his back to the tree.

“Then you better tell him that,” Soyee sobs quietly out. “I don’t want him to pull some _move_ on you that you don’t want him to and get too carried away--”

“He’s not like that,” Nayoung promises, Hongbin agreeing. “He’s just a friend, okay babe?”

Hongbin freezes.

_Babe?_

Hongbin dares to look around the tree once more to find that the space between their faces nonexistent.

He turns around and flees silently back to his tent. Soyee and Nayoung an _item._ God, is he the only one who knows? Do the girls know? How’s Hakyeon going to react? Should he _tell_ him? If he tells him, then that exposes him and ruins Hakyeon, but leaving him to be lead on might make him feel worse. And what is he going to do if he never tells him, but he finds out he knew?

He enters his tent and finds Hakyeon rummaging through his bag. He walks over to his cot and lies down.

“Where’d you head off to?” he asks.

“Just needed some fresh air,” he answers. “What are you looking for?”

“My satchel. Have you seen it? I lost it months ago and I barely thought about it.”

“Oh.” He hunches over his cot and grabs the satchel he left under there. Hakyeon looks at it in his hand and his face lights up. “I-I kinda took it by accident before I had to ditch the troop. Easy access.”

His brows furrow. “But you didn’t have it on you when you came back.”

“I gave it to Taekwoon,” he says, his heart fluttering at the mention of his name. “For protection.”

Hongbin throws it over to Hakyeon, who opens it and checks for his things. “Knife, gloves, wipes...why isn’t the needle in the thread?”

“We had to use it.”

He laughs. “What would you need a needle and thread for in the middle of the woods?”

He doesn’t respond. Hakyeon becomes anxious.

“Hongbin,” he says sternly, “what would need a needle and thread for in the middle of the woods?”

“Nothing.”

“Don’t _lie_ ,” he hisses.

“It’s nothing.”

“My arm.”

Hakyeon and him look towards the back of the tent, where Taekwoon’s face pops out from that slit made a while ago.

Hongbin shakes his head, giving him a signal _not_ to talk about it. He wasn’t going to tell anyone, not the lieutenant, and _not_ the soldier who hates Tsukaerus.

“I stitched your arm up,” Hakyeon says. “And hello.”

“Something was in my arm and we had to get it out. And hello.”

“Taekwoon, shh,” Hongbin whispers.

Hakyeon glares at Hongbin. “More secrets, Bean?”

Hongbin purses his lips.

“We can at least tell him,” Taekwoon says, slipping through the slit and seating himself next to him. “A Tsukaeru was the one who had cut my arm up before, and they had put some chip thing in me. We had to take it out.”

“Are you okay?” Hakyeon asks. Hongbin expects him to lash out at the idea of Tsukaerus, but he’s rather calm and concerned.

“Yeah, I’m good.”

Hongbin looks at Taekwoon. He bites his bottom lip to stop it from shaking. He’s not good.

“But, uh…” he sighs, “the chip thing, it bit me, according to Hongbin. I didn’t think it was much, but…”

He raises his wrist and shows Hongbin the bite. The purple dot is now blue and spreads down to the middle of his forearm. Hongbin’s eyes widen and he gently holds onto his arm, his mouth opening slightly. What did it _do_ to him?

He starts to shake his head and sees Hakyeon glare at the two of them from the corner of his eye. He crosses his legs and swallows hard.

“That’s dangerous,” Hakyeon says. “What do you think it’ll do to you?”

“Nothing,” Hongbin fills in. He looks up at him and puts on a confident face. “It won’t hurt you. I won’t let it.”

Taekwoon’s arm shakes, but he gives a firm nod.

******

“Lee.”

Hongbin turns his head away from the pile of clothes he’s fixing to look towards the entrance of the tent. The dark figure of Lieutenant Kim looms over.

“Yes?” he says.

“We need to talk in private.”

Hongbin puts the pile of clothes into a duffel bag. “Okay.”

He gets up and walks towards him, but the lieutenant holds him back by lifting his hand. “Why can’t we talk here?”

“Taekwoon is in the back. Taekwoon is always in the back. Do you want him to hear our conversation?”

Wonshik drops his hand and allows him to walk through. It doesn’t take long for them to reach his humongous tent, all the same as the first time he went in. This time, he sits at the chairs in front of his desk.

“I’ve sent a scout out,” he mentions as he pulls out a map from a drawer in his desk, “and they’ve told me that we are right here.” His finger points at a red dot at the middle of the Upper Southern Province. Hongbin’s eyes would have lit up if the problems surrounding the release of Taekwoon didn’t occupy his head every waking hour.

“How were they able to tell that this is where we were?” he asks, hoping they’re farther than what they say.

“They climbed a tall tree and were able to spot the watchtower.”

Right. If you can see the king’s castle, _any_ part of it, then you’ll know where you are. Can see the flag at the top of the watchtower? Lower Eastern Province. Can see a whole watch tower? Upper Southern Province. Can see half of the curtain wall and everything above it? Lower Southern Province. It’s a landmark.

“Oh,” is all Hongbin manages to say.

“Therefore,” the lieutenant says, folding up the map and placing it back in his drawer, “your mission to the king will be all over soon, and we’ll return to being a normal troop. Your, what, three months, of dragging him around will be all done soon.”

Hongbin nods. It doesn’t feel right. He’s gotten so used to Taekwoon, he’s fallen for him, and yet he knew it would never be permanent. And now it hurt. His heart clenches at the idea of letting him go after he’s gotten so close to him. It isn’t fair.

“Have you talked to the king recently?” Hongbin asks, thinking it’s a good way to start his series of questions.

Lieutenant Kim leans back in his chair. “He sent me a letter a couple weeks ago. Why?”

“What did he tell you?” The look on his face reminds Hongbin that maybe he should elaborate “I got a letter from him too.”

“What did he tell _you?_ ”

Hongbin gulps. “He gave me an update on his life and what he needed ‘my mission to the king’ for.”

“Ah, the experiment, yes.”

“I wasn’t sure if you knew about it.”

“Well, I very much do know about it. It’s what he told me about in his letter to me.”

“What did he tell you?” he asks again.

“What did he tell _you?_ ” the lieutenant backfires.

Hongbin wants to be _bold_ and yell at him. He’s annoyed, but he if does become bold, then he won’t get the answers he wants. “He told me he got Dr. Han Sanghyuk on the job and that he’s excited for the experiment.”

Wonshik pouts. “He told me the same, except that the experiment is more than halfway done. You must have gotten a letter before me. Did he send it while you were gone?”

“Yeah. With a hawk.”

The lieutenant chuckles. “Classic.”

“Do you know what the experiment is? And how it’ll help the greater good?”

“Awful lot of questions for someone who didn’t want to take the mission.”

“Well, I took it,” Hongbin retorts, “and there’s nothing I can do about it. I have every right to know what I signed up for, and that includes the experiment. It shouldn’t remain a secret to me.”

“Look, I don’t know anything about it. I can only make assumptions, but they’re probably dog shit compared to ideas that that doctor has. He’s crazy intelligent and no one ever knows what he’s up to until he reveals it.”

“Then do you know why he wants him?”

The lieutenant fidgets in his seat. Hongbin becomes anxious.

“Do you?”

“Do I,” he scoffs. “Do I? I don’t know. When he found him coming up on the shore with some other Tsukaerus, completely empty-handed, he didn’t let me take care of it--”

“You were there when he _found_ him? And you don’t know _anything?_ ”

“I’m not the king, Lee Hongbin!” he shouts. “I’m simply a favorite pawn of his! I didn’t sign up for it _either,_ but oh well!” He lowers his voice to a whisper. “The most I know about Taekwoon is that he’s very important to him. He’s got something he wants.”

“You said he was empty handed, so how can he--”

“He _knows_ something, Hongbin!” He raises his arms and rolls his eyes. “He _knows_ something. Isn’t that obvious? It can be pertaining to Tsukaeru. It can be pertaining to their army, their king, whatever! But it’s precious information.”

“I met the king,” he says. “If Taekwoon had something important that will help him _win_ the war, then he would have taken it into his own hands instead of having _me_ worry about it. Why should I be in charge of him? Why put his life into my palms?”

Wonshik blinks. “You’re right. He would have made me get the guy on the spot…” He smirks. “This is why you’re my favorite.”

“In the letter he sent me,” Hongbin continues, ignoring the compliment, “he seemed anxious. He couldn’t wait any longer. He wanted him now. He could have come to get him if he was so desperate. He could have--”

“He’s scared,” Lieutenant Kim concludes. “Our king is scared.”

Hongbin arches his brow. “Of Taekwoon?”

“Yep.”

“Why?”

“There’s only one reason, Hongbin.” He stands up, urging Hongbin to follow him so he can lead him out the tent. Hongbin does not avert his eyes from the lieutenant’s face. “Whatever Taekwoon knows, it’s very personal to the king.”

******

Hongbin slathers the ointment over Taekwoon’s bite. The swelling hadn’t moved any further down, but it spread like wildfire across his forearm within the three days that he had shown him. He picks up some more ointment with two fingers and places it back on his skin.

“Hongbin, what’s wrong?” he asks.

“Nothing,” he mumbles.

Taekwoon grabs his hand so he can stop. Hongbin looks up at him, noticing the genuine worry in his face. He’s worried about _him_. Of all people. _Him_. He should be worried about his own _life._

“Tell me what’s wrong.”

“I said _nothing,_ ” he hisses.

“You can tell me, you know.”

Yes, he knows. In fact, he’d love to. He’s got this urge to tell Taekwoon everything, which is a terrible fucking idea. If he were to tell him everything, then it would include the theories about why he is needed, how he doesn’t want to complete this mission, how notorious Dr. Han Sanghyuk is, the experiment, and hell, he’d lose his composure if he asked--

“What do you know?” Hongbin’s slowly losing it. “That King Jaehwan wants to know?”

Taekwoon straightens his back. “I don’t know what he wants with me.”

“But you know what he wants _from_ you.”

Taekwoon taps his fingers on his knees. “That’s not something you need to know.”

“Oh, so you’ve _always_ known what he wants from you?” he spats. “The whole ‘I don’t know why he wants me’ thing was an act? You just _lied_ to my face this whole time?”

“Secrets aren’t _lies_. And it’s not like you haven’t!”

“Secrets _are_ lies and _I haven’t!_ I can’t think of one time I lied to you, honest.”

“So what?”

“You’re always telling me that I can share whatever I want with you, and I do, so you should do it with me too!”

“I give you the _choice_ to share it with me! You can’t force me to _tell_ you. Anyways, what makes you think I _should_ tell you?”

“Because I _care_ ,” he says, almost like an insult. “I care that whatever you’re withholding isn’t going to hurt or _kill_ you because I don’t want you to be in that position ever again. _I’m_ going to make sure of it.”

“A _lot_ of people care,” Taekwoon says back. “If I don’t want to tell you, then I don’t have to.”

“I thought we should always share what we know.”

“What the _hell_ is making you think all of this?”

“What we _have_ is making me think all of this.”

Taekwoon blinks. “Tell me what we have, Hongbin.”

Hongbin lowers his voice so that, if Hakyeon is in the tent, he doesn’t hear him. “We kissed, Taekwoon. And that means we have a lot.”

“A kiss. A _kiss_ is what makes you think we have something.”

“Is it _not?_ ”

“You know nothing,” Taekwoon states. “Really? A single _kiss_ is what makes me entitled to telling you everything. We haven’t built anything since that kiss. Y-You haven’t tried to approach me with a kiss since then. You come to put this cream on me and then leave. I thought, from that kiss, that maybe you’d come back and attempt to build something more than what we have due to it. But no. We’re not in a relationship, and even if we were, I’m not entitled to tell you. I have my secrets, you have yours. You still haven’t told me what was on that letter, so I won’t tell you what I know.”

“Why should I have been the one to attempt?” he asks.

“Because I’m stuck in this compartment,” he says. “I can’t go marching out for you. My freedom is limited in this space.”

Hongbin feels himself go numb. He’s right. Taekwoon is absolutely right, and now he feels like an asshole. _Ruin the one thing that’s going for you, huh? You’re just as anxious as that damn king._ Hongbin shouldn’t be allowed to make assumptions. They always get him in bad places. Maybe he should be a little less bold too.

Taekwoon puts a hand on his shoulder, trying to be comforting after all he’s confessed. “I can’t tell you, Hongbin. I would, but I just can’t.”

“I’m sorry,” he sighs.

Taekwoon places a kiss on his cheek, bringing back feeling to his body. “Don’t beat yourself up over it. People fight.”

“I’m not one to rekindle.”

Taekwoon smiles against his face. “Then we’re gonna have to label ourselves as something other than people.”

Hongbin pulls away before a blush can appear on his face. “Like what? Breathing objects?”

“I was thinking lovers, but that works too.”

******

_LOVERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

Lovers, lovers, _lovers, LOVERS, **LOVERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**_

Hongbin tosses and turns through the night.

******

Hongbin and Hakyeon come down from climbing up a tree. They were able to see the curtain wall and everything above it, signaling that, at _last_ , they were at the Lower Southern Province. Three and a half months of walking and constant camping and they were there.

Three and a half months of getting to know Taekwoon and fall in love with him.

Aaaand a couple of weeks of late night make outs.

But the ecstasy of it all disappeared when Hongbin saw that damn curtain wall.

Within those couple of weeks, Hongbin had become a happier person. He was in love, he was a _lover,_ and he had learned to kiss from the master himself. He ignored the idea of leaving Taekwoon and enjoyed the moment. He avoided discussing and thinking about any serious topics, such as the experiment or the golden knowledge Taekwoon has that can scare the king.

All of the things that worried him came back to him in an instant. The protective feeling he’s had of Taekwoon returns and is here to stay.

“Let’s set up camp!” Hakyeon says. The troop gives him a strange look. “Put some meat to grill, because we are officially in the Lower Southern Province!”

A couple cheers are heard, but it’s mainly the sound of people pressing buttons so their tents pop up. Hongbin digs out the tent device from his pocket and presses, making his tent appear within seconds. Hakyeon goes out to grab the meat and gather firewood. Hongbin enters their tent, sits on his cot, and waits.

Once he hears the sound of hooks being taken off, he jumps up and enter the back compartment. There stands a tired Taekwoon, his black windbreaker buttoned up over his white shirt. Hongbin smiles at him (he’s found that makes his lover happy) and gives him a warm hug. God, he loves him so much.

“Hongbin,” Taekwoon mutters on his shoulder.

“Shh,” Hongbin hushes.

“No, Hongbin…” His voice is sleepy. “There’s something I need to show you.”

“Save it for later, yeah? You need some rest.”

Taekwoon shakes his head and pushes him back. He unbuttons his windbreaker and pulls down the collar of his shirt.

Hongbin’s eyes widen. He knew the swelling had spread further down, but never did he think it would get to his chest. The blue can pass as a vein popping out, but they both know that’s not what it is.

“Does it hurt?” he asks, running his finger over it.

“No,” his voice luls. “That’s what worries me.”

Hongbin kisses his chest and helps him lie on the blanket. “We’ll figure it out, okay?”

Taekwoon closes his eyes, but continues speaking. “Are we there yet?”

“Uh, yeah,” Hongbin admits.

“Good,” he whispers. “I want to talk to the king.”

Hongbin holds his hand. He doesn’t want him to.

******

Hongbin noticed Hakyeon’s silence throughout their feast. The troop members were chattering and Hakyeon was absent from it all. Why was that?

“Hakyeon,” Hongbin begins once the other is striding past him to his cot, “are you okay?”

“Splendid,” he jokes. “Couldn’t be better.”

He isn’t sure if Hakyeon wants to tell him, so he decides to not speak any further. If Hakyeon wants to say something, he will say it on his own. Whether Taekwoon will hear or not, he doesn’t care.

“I saw something I shouldn’t have,” Hakyeon begins.

Hongbin tenses. Did he see the swelling on Taekwoon? Maybe he saw dead bodies. Could what he seen have been something from today? From the past? Shit, what if he saw him kissing Taekwoon or straddling him or--

“It doesn’t have anything to do with you, so if you’re not interested, I won’t tell you.”

Hongbin relaxes. Close one, since he was about to start explaining. “If I’m interested doesn’t matter. If you want to tell me, you can.”

Hakyeon runs his hand through his loose, greasy black hair. “God, I feel wrong. I’m so stupid.”

What could he have seen to make him like this? “What could you have seen that made you feel wrong?” He thinks up of scenarios, but quickly abandons them.

“I saw Nayoung and Soyee kissing.”

And back to tense. He hoped this day wouldn’t come.

“And they _saw_ me.”

Oh boy.

“I’m so fucked, Bean. I’m _so_ fucked. I knew Soyee didn’t like me but I never knew _why_. She’s the one that lashed out at me after I caught them and started cursing. I never knew she was dating the girl I had an attraction to. How could I be so stupid. Of course, me. The one time I thought I really had it going for me.” He laughs. “I thought we’d be something. I thought we saw each other as more than friends, more than comrades, but nope! I fell head over heels for someone who was taken. And she wouldn’t even let me know! Did she not catch on? Did she not get that I was flirting with her?” He straightens his back. “I was friendzoned. Bean, I was _friendzoned!_ What the fuck! I thought I was suave as heck. I was friendzoned! Do people even know they’re a thing? Oh shit, what if people don’t know they’re a thing? What if I wasn’t supposed to tell you?” He presses the sides of his head with his palms. “Pretend you didn’t hear this. I never told you anything. I--”

“I knew,” he reveals. Maybe he shouldn’t have said anything. Or maybe he should have told him once he found out? No, the look of anger on Hakyeon’s face says he shouldn’t have said anything.

“You _knew?_ What do you mean?”

“I saw them kissing a couple weeks ago. And bad-mouthing you.”

“Do they know this?”

“No.”

Hakyeon stands. “You knew and you didn’t _tell_ me?”

“Because I didn’t know if they wanted other people knowing,” Hongbin reasons. “I shouldn’t even know. They don’t know that I know. There’s no right way to go around this.”

“You’re my best friend, and you know how much I like Nayoung! You could have told me before I continued flirting or _something_.”

“I can’t just worry about you in this situation. It’s _their_ privacy, one I shouldn’t have even intruded on. If I’m the only one that knows, then there’s obviously a reason why I wouldn’t tell anyone, not even you. If they want to share the news, then _they_ do it. Not me.”

“Then you should have at least been subtle about it!” he yells. “Like, ‘hey, Hakyeon, why don’t you lay off on the flirt’ or ‘hey, Hakyeon, ever thought that she doesn’t like you?’ or ‘Hakyeon leave her the fuck alone!’ You couldn’t even try to save me from this _embarrassment_ \--”

“I can’t be _subtle_ because it would just give it away.”

“Yes you can!” He pulls at his hair and breathes heavily. “I thought you’d be better than this, Hongbin. After every single _fucking_ thing. You’ve lost all my trust.”

He grabs his satchel and storms out.

******

Hongbin enters the slit through the back, eyes tired.

“Why aren’t you asleep?” Taekwoon asks. He hears him shuffle into a sitting position.

“Hakyeon hasn’t come back all night,” he whispers.

He hears the sound of small patting on the blanket and takes that as a sign to sit next to him. Taekwoon wraps his arm around his shoulder and pulls him in. “Your fight was pretty loud.”

“I didn’t think it would hurt him so bad.” Hongbin leans his head on his shoulder. “I can’t do anything about it.”

“You’re not at fault. He just overreacted.”

“He said he lost my trust.”

“And I say he hasn’t, because it’s just a one time thing he’s going to be angry about.”

Hongbin scoffs.

“Okay, two times. But you’ve got me now, so…”

Hongbin smiles in the night and lets Taekwoon kiss his forehead.

“This is all going to end and it’ll just be a memory. You’ll laugh about it when you’re older. That’s the good thing about memories. You can always look back at them.”

Hongbin places a peck on Taekwoon’s lips. “I hope so.”

Hongbin begins to get up, but Taekwoon pulls him down. “You can stay if you want.”

Hongbin chuckles. “Something tells me that’s a bad idea.”

“Then one kiss before you leave.”

“I already gave you one.”

“Then another one.”

Hongbin rolls his eyes and gives him a long kiss, cupping his face with his hands and loving the sigh of relief that comes out from the other. Taekwoon tries to pull him in, but Hongbin knows better than that. He gets away before Taekwoon can get the better of him and laughs it off. “I have to wait for Hakyeon.”

Taekwoon nods in his hand and says goodnight.

Hongbin steps back into his tent and stumbles back when he sees what’s in front of him.

A hawk.

_Another freaking hawk._

Hongbin gulps and notices that there’s nothing in its beak. No letter like last time.

The hawk walks out on its skinny legs. Hongbin doesn’t follow it, in way too much shock to even do anything. The hawk comes walking back and sticks his head in the entrance, waiting for him to proceed. On wobbly legs, Hongbin walks out. The animal leads him to the open area in front of where they made camp, where something he had been wishing for appears in front of him.

A car.

The hawk flies into the open door of the car. The person who’s driving rolls down the window and signals him to enter the car with his fingers. Hongbin shakes his head.

“By order of the king,” the driver says.

******

The hypostyle entrance is lit up. It’s the same white and gray marble that reflects up into his face, making his eyes burn for a little. The blue columns seem a little bigger now, but that might be because he hasn’t had much sleep. Walking down the aisle takes him longer than it did the first time, having to pause every now and then because there was just so much light shining in his eyes. You’d think they’d dim the lights with all this bright marble and those useless mirrors on the wall, but nope!

He’s also been thinking about that hawk. And the driver. And why the king brings _him_ in a car, but not leave it for the troop. Or he could bring another one, for that matter. Or bring the entire troop with him. What the fuck does the damn king want? What does he want from an empty handed Hongbin, who _clearly_ already has Taekwoon. Why bring him here without him?

Hongbin glares at the door. That stupid, large door. No one needs a door that tall. No one’s even that tall. Some power and authority thing? He doesn’t even think anybody comes to see how one door can assert his power. Ridiculous.

He twists the handle and sees King Jaehwan right at the doorway. His white suit blinds him. The only thing that doesn’t is the pink lily flower in his pocket.

“I heard you enter, but I didn’t think it would take you,” the king says as he checks the watch on his door, “fifteen minutes to get here. How are you?”

Hongbin narrows his eyes at him.

“Okay! Why don’t we get down to business?”

“Why don’t I ask you a couple of fucking questions first?” Hongbin asks. It’s taking everything in him not to punch the living shit out of him.

King Jaehwan’s eyes widen, but he laughs it off. “Okay, that’s fair. Why don’t I take you to my meeting space?”

“I don’t need to sit for this,” he hisses.

The king pouts and shrugs. “Well, I do.” He strides back to his black velvet throne and slumps down on it. “Ask away, soldier.”

“What do you want?” he asks, closing the gigantic door behind him and taking slow steps towards his throne.

“Mm, you’re gonna have to be more specific.”

“Okay,” he challenges. He’s mad at this guy and is ready to yell at him about everything. “I’ll start with the first thing. How were you able to send me that letter months ago?”

Jaehwan laughs. “The hawk! It’s a fucking genius, right? It was able to send that letter to you, it was able to bring you here, crazy! So, I don’t know. Ask the hawk.”

He’s being really funny about this. He doesn’t really find the intensity of the situation. “It scared the shit out of me, your highness.”

“Oh well! Next!”

“Why’d you bring me here?”

“Okay, we’re getting closer to business.” He takes out the lily flower from his pocket and fiddles around with it. “I have to talk to you about things regarding the letter.”

“Then here’s my next question. Now that you know our location, why don’t you send over a car?”

“That just takes out all the fun. I heard you blew up the first one I gave you anyways. I wouldn’t trust you with another. Next.”

“Why do you need Taekwoon?”

“I’ll answer that later. Next.”

“Are you scared of him? Does he know something you want to know? What is it?”

King Jaehwan clicks his tongue and sighs. “Let’s just get to business. The experiment--”

“What _exactly_ is the experiment?” he interrupts. “And why the hell would you put a dick like Dr. Han Sanghyuk to work on it?”

The king holds a hand to his chest. “He’s my friend! Anyways, as I was saying, the experiment--”

“No, first tell me what you need with Taek--”

“Let me finish!” he screams, sitting back up on his chair. Hongbin stands down. “The _experiment_ is ready and done. It, as I said, is for the greater good of Nari-Seung. It will help us scare off Tsukaerus, you’ll see. We’ll win this war so quick.”

He stops talking, not delving any further to talk about Taekwoon. That makes Hongbin feel ansty. He _wants_ to talk about him, he wants to know what he’s taking his lover to and whether he’s gonna ever see him again after. “And Taekwoon?”

King Jaehwan purses his lips. “We can end there.”

“ _What?_ ” he yells. “Oh, you didn’t bring me on a twenty minute drive to your castle, which is gonna take my troop weeks to walk, just to tell me that this fucking experiment is done. You did _not_ \--”

“We aren’t talking about Jung Taekwoon.”

“You said you’d answer, so you’re _going_ to answer!”

“I’m not gonna answer anymore.”

“ _You better fucking tell me--_ ”

“Why the hell are you so protective of this guy--”

“Because _I had to take care of him for months!_ ” he yells at him. “I had to take care of _him_ because you’re way too scared of him for some reason none of us are ever gonna find out. I had to choose him over my troop, I had to help him when no one else could because he was a _secret_ , so maybe _that’s_ why I’m so damn protective. So of course I want to find out what you want with him!”

The king simply stares wide eyed.

“And now you’re just going to avoid it?” he continues. “Avoid my worry for him? Sure. Be my guest. I guess you’ve never felt some sort of protectiveness over someone because you’ve just always had it. Your father has always been some rich, political figure in Korea--yeah, _Korea_ \--and you had a backbone for _everything!_ You never had anything to be protective of because someone else could protect it. Who even knows if you _cared_ about anything. Maybe just power. You like power? Are you protective of your power? I know you are. You started a war over a fucking name change. A name change! That’s just a _dangerous_ kind of protectiveness. So I shouldn’t expect you to understand.”

Hongbin didn’t realize the redness in his faces during his rant. He’s a little intimidating now and, though Hongbin loves being bold and standing up to authority, he thinks he spoke too much.

“You’re somehow always getting me to talk about shit I keep to myself,” he mutters, attempting not to release his anger.

“Because you’re always trying to shut me up--”

“I have been protective of something, thank you very much.”

“How many things?”

“ _Shut up!_ ” The king takes a deep inhale. He looks at the lily flower in his hand, now crushed. “There was...this girl. She was my neighbor and we had gone to school together since we were in preschool. She had money--I mean, she was my _neighbor,_ of course she did--but I didn’t care much about that. She didn’t either. It was never something we let define ourselves. So we grow up. We grow up together, we go to school together, and we figure things out. Suddenly our relationship feels more than just a friendship.

“What we felt was mutual and we built off of it. Since middle school. It was childish, but we got mature about it. Quickly. The first year was sweet. People thought it was cute and not a single adult took it seriously. My dad never cared and her parents thought it wouldn’t last. Jokes on them. The second year was just as sweet. It was the first time we had kissed and once you hit two years, you’re like ‘yep, this is getting serious’ and you get serious.

“Five years. We dated for five years. If your relationship starts in middle school, then there’s a two percent chance that it continues for more than three months. We were _perfect_. Absolutely perfect. Then my father became president, and I thought we’d start falling apart, but she was a _rock_. When I couldn’t do anything about it, she was _always_ there to help and make sure we never fell apart. Then he does his lil’ murder spree. I was scared. I told her what he did and she continued to be that rock. She formulated this plan to get me out of the situation. It consisted of me talking my father out of everything he’s done by persuading him through these tactics she made that I don’t even remember. Point is, it failed. And she noticed something.

“She noticed I started agreeing with my father. I agreed with him on the new laws, on his new cabinet, on his new power. She knew it was dangerous and she pleaded with me to get out of that mindset. She did whatever she could, and damn, I loved her even more for it. She cared so much and she did so much for me and I couldn’t-I couldn’t follow her lead. My father was so good at getting me under his spell and soon enough I became obsessed with power.

“And I-I _forgot_ about her. I didn’t realize the situation her family was put in because of my father. I didn’t realize she was robbed of her money, of her value, or her _life_. I didn’t realize she left until I had gone to visit her and she was gone. Her house was empty and was getting ready to be filled in by some friend of my father’s. I didn’t think it was true. She had left because there was nothing for her to salvage, nothing for her to start again. I let the love of my life go and-and after everything I put her through, I wanted to protect her. Her and her family. I wanted to get them back on their feet, but I couldn’t track them. I wanted her back. I missed her so much. I just wanted her to be back with me, to hold me and kiss me and love me and tell me everything was fine. That I was doing just fine and that she would pull me out of this situation. But I couldn’t.”

Tears threaten to fall out of the king’s eyes.

Hongbin fumbles with the hem of his shirt. He was protective of someone he loves, just like him right now, and of course he made the assumption that he wasn’t. He felt terrible now, but he was still angry as hell. This still gave him zero answers about Taekwoon.

“Her name was Nari.”

Hongbin’s hands stiffen.

“Jung Nari.”

Hongbin feels empty. Jung Nari. Jung is a popular last name, but he can’t ignore the obviousness of the situation. Jung Taekwoon, Jung Nari. _Nari-Seung._ Lily rise.

The lily in his pocket! The lily that’s been in his pocket since the king’s face was broadcasted on television! It all makes sense!

King Jaehwan stands up and walks towards him. “Therefore, I want Taekwoon so I can find out about Nari.” His face inches closer to Hongbin. “And I will _use_ that experiment to stop at nothing till I find out about her.”

******

Hakyeon is sleeping in his cot when he gets back. He wasn’t gone for long, only an hour or so. He slips back into his cot.

“Where were you?”

Hongbin scoffs. “Where were _you?_ ”

******

They can see the whole castle from the trees, but they’re not at the central city yet. They’ve been walking for a week. Hongbin has avoided Taekwoon for two. Nayoung and Soyee told the whole camp about their relationship, realizing little people cared. Hakyeon had disappeared at that moment. Nayoung and him haven’t talked since the incident. The only ones surprised were the girls. Hakyeon has been sleeping in Lieutenant Kim’s tent since last night, who was very open about it.

Hongbin replays the conversation with the king every night. It haunts him. He was terrifying when he said he’d do anything to find out.

And that’s why they’re halting on traveling so much. Hongbin convinced the lieutenant to chill on the traveling, that, now that they’re where they need to be, they can stop when they need. They can travel less. He doesn’t want to Taekwoon there _at all._ He knows that Taekwoon very much wants to talk to the king, but he can’t possibly let him.

The moon crawls over the sky and Hongbin faces reality. He has to talk to Taekwoon. He doesn’t want to, but he should. Maybe he can hold it off for one more day.

“ _Lee Hongbin._ ”

Hongbin turns his head at the sound of his name. He sees Taekwoon in his tent, not his compartment. He’s not even fitting his head in the slit and telling him to come to the back, _no_ , he’s standing in the _tent!_

“Taekwoon, you can’t be here, someone will--”

“I don’t care,” he says, stomping towards him and pulling the collar of his shirt, making their foreheads touch and their noses bump. There’s fire in his eyes and he pouts. “You’ve ignored me for _two_ weeks and I need to know why.”

Hongbin gulps. He’s scared, but he’d be lying if he didn’t admit that this was kind of hot. “I-I--”

“You better give me an explanation.”

He bites his bottom lip.

“Don’t do that.” He pushes him down on his cot. “Don’t distract me.”

“Something happened.”

“ _What_ happened?”

Reality hits him harder. He can’t keep this a secret from him. His weak spot is telling everything to Taekwoon. He can’t hide this. It’s important and he has the right to know. He now knows what the secret Taekwoon has. He can’t do the same thing he did with Hakyeon and Soyee and Nayoung. “King Jaehwan had me visit him.”

His grip on his collar loosens. “Why?” he whispers.

“To give me an update. On what he’s doing.”

“How did it go?”

“I know your secret.”

Taekwoon straightens. “What secret?”

“I know it’s wrong for me to know.” He sighs. “I know about Nari.”

Taekwoon blinks. “What did he tell you?”

“He told me about him...and her...and how he felt about her….”

Hongbin’s shoulders shudder and he feels the waterworks come through. Taekwoon’s fingers brush the tears off his face. “Why are you crying, Hongbin?” He kneels down in front of him and holds his hands. “You don’t need to cry for my sister. And her relationship with that jerk.”

“I’m not crying over that. I-I can’t take you to him.”

“Why not?”

“He’s anxious. He wants to know everything and he will stop at nothing to get it out of you. And I don’t know what that means. I don’t know what he has set up but I can’t let you talk to him. I can’t protect you that way and I _can’t_ \--”

“Stop,” he says. “I want to talk to him.”

“No!” he cries. “No, you can’t. He’s gonna rip you to shreds and do something _terrible_ and I-I can’t let that happen to you.”

“Hongbin, this is _my_ choice.”

“But what if your choice gets you _killed?_ ”

Taekwoon purses his lips. “Is that how anxious he is?”

Hongbin nods, his lips quivering. “I don’t want you to go. I won’t let him take you. You don’t have to tell him anything.”

“He just wants to talk. You told me that the first day I met you.”

“He doesn’t want to just talk with you,” he scowls. “He’s got things planned.” He’s never told him about the experiment, _never_ , and he’s too scared to.

Taekwoon gives a little smile. “And you won’t tell me, and I’m okay with that. It’s a secret.”

“It’s a _lie_.”

“Secrets aren’t lies.”

“Taekwoon, please take this seriously. I don’t want you to go and it’s only because I want the best for you. I don’t want to lose you. Promise me you won’t go.”

“Hongbin--”

“I know what’s in store. You must not go. Promise me.”

Taekwoon purses his lips. “Hongbin, I--”

“Please. I love you.”

Taekwoon leans up and kisses him. Hard, like he means it. He’s put everything into that kiss to let him know how he feels. Hongbin knows he’s trying to relieve him of stress and pain and that he appreciates it. That he loves him. Hongbin kisses him back with all that same might. He can’t let Taekwoon fall into the hands of their dictator or the doctor he hates. He simply won’t allow it.

“Me too.”

******

“Soldier Lee,” the lieutenant says as he places a hand on his shoulder. Hongbin’s walking towards the campfire, his hands full with wood. “You should put those down.”

Hongbin raises his brow. “Why?”

“Well, we’ve got to get moving! We can’t be stuck here forever.”

“Oh,” he says. “Oh, wait, oh no, no we shouldn’t get moving lieutenant.” He starts laughing to mask the nervousness. He moves his head towards the sky. “It’s nearly night time!”

“Hongbin, we’ve been here for days. We’ve got to move! The people need us!”

“Just one more night,” he pleads. “One more! The troop won’t want to move--”

“Soldier, the troop is ready to leave.”

The wood drops from his arms. He looks around and sees the tents deflate. Duffel bag straps are thrown over their shoulders with guns. _“What!_ You tell me this _now?_ We can’t move!”

“And your reason why?”

Hongbin chokes on his words. _Because I need more time with Taekwoon! I can’t let him go, I can’t let him go, not yet, not now, not ever--_

“Lee Hongbin,” Lieutenant Kim sings.

“I, uh, I haven’t told Taek--I mean, the mission!” He’s flustered? Hongbin’s never flustered. “I, you know, I gotta--I gotta go!”

He zooms past him to their tent. His feet halt when he sees Hakyeon in there, picking up weapons from the end of the tent. His eyes gravitate towards him and stay for a couple seconds. They haven’t seen each other in so long that seeing him is like meeting him all over again. “Hello Hakyeon.”

Hakyeon looks away and finishes what he’s doing. Hongbin, taking the message, goes to the back compartment and finds Taekwoon folding up his blanket. They smile at each other.

“You got the memo?” Hongbin asks, pulling him into a hug.

“Hakyeon told me.”

Hongbin blinks and shakes his head. He pulls away and looks through the small gap of the slit. He sees Hakyeon looking back at him, but he turns away and walks out. “Huh. He talked to you before he talked to me.”

“When he _does_ talk to you, you’ll be surprised with what he has to say.”

Hongbin tilts his head. “Has he told you what he will tell me?”

“No.” He kisses his cheek. “But I know it’ll surprise you.”

******

Hongbin crosses his arms in frustration. How could the lieutenant let everyone but him know that they were traveling? Was it because he’s the one who’s been begging not to travel?

“Hongbin,” a familiar voice--The Syringe!--says, “are you okay? You seem upset.”

“I didn’t want to move,” he mumbles. “I just wanted to stay for one more day.”

“We had to leave at some point,” she laughs off. “We have no reason to stay, silly. If there was a reason, then the whole troop should know about--”

“Sejeong,” Nayoung interjects. “Leave him alone.”

“Nayoung, he needs someone to talk to.”

“ _He’s_ not the person to talk to,” Soyee, beside Nayoung, whispers.

“Soyee, you’re not the type to be like this,” Sejeong says.

“If he’s a friend of Hakyeon’s then he’s not worth talking to.”

“ _Soyee_ ,” Nayoung whispers.

“What? Hakyeon spills everything to him if he isn’t spilling it out to you so--”

“Leave him out of this.”

Hongbin twists to look behind. He sees Hakyeon glaring at Soyee with fire in his eyes.

Hakyeon? Standing up for him? After all this time? That’s great! But it doesn’t count as him talking directly to Hongbin. So there’s _that_ downside.

“Oh, he’s very much _part of this!_ ” Soyee yells, Nayoung holding her back.

“ _Soyee no he’s not_ ,” The Syringe talks back. She locks his arm with hers and walks fast so they’re ahead of the troop rather than behind. “You don’t look slightly bothered about this.”

Hongbin scoffs.

“Look, I know Hakyeon hasn’t been talking to you. I don’t know why and I won’t bother trying to figure out, but if you need someone to talk to, I’m here. I don’t think there’s anyone else that you do talk to.”

Hongbin smiles.

“You may not know it Hongbin, but I’m your friend. I’m here for you, okay?”

He nods.

******

Hongbin sits on a sturdy branch and scowls at the blue marble castle. He can see it all from there. The curtain wall, the small space between it and the entrance, he feels like he can hear the sound of marble against his shoes. He sees the little town in front of it and the large city behind it. He knows the townspeople were allowed to stay so that it could help serve the new housing spaces for soldiers. It wasn’t the best thing to do, forcing a new job upon them, but there’s a lot of people helping and it’s gotten things done.

“Hello.”

Hongbin jumps and almost falls from the branch. His hand latches onto a smaller branch and keeps his balance. He whips his head behind him and finds a grinning Taekwoon on the tree behind him. “Oh, you _suck,_ ” he remarks.

“Missed you too,” he says.

“How’d you get up so high?”

“I think you forgot that I’ve climbed trees too.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t climb nearly this high.”

Taekwoon laughs. “You’ve all walked for a really long time.”

“Four days. We walk for another day and we’re there. I don’t want to be there.”

“Well, I do. Seeing the king sounds sweet.”

Hongbin rolls his eyes. “I’m scared for you, Taekwoon.”

“Hey, hey, I know. Don’t be, okay?”

“He’s got things planned.”

“Hongbin, you don’t have to worry. I-I’m not going anywhere.”

“Something about that makes me doubt you.”

Taekwoon laughs.

******

Hongbin’s been dreading this day. For _months._ Dreading the day he’d be where they need to be. And to think that he wanted to get here quickly at one point in his life. Now he never wants to even step foot in the small town.

The troop was excited. Finally, they could stop walking for once in their miserable lives. They could sleep in beds now. They can do some serious fighting. They could get out of the fucking woods. Everything was blissful.

But Hongbin was miserable.

The troop settles in nicely. They’ve got a series of bungalows all to themselves. One just for the girls, and two divided up for the boys. Hongbin would not be sleeping with them. He’d be stuck in a cabin with Lieutenant Kim and Taekwoon in the attic.

It’s dawned on him that these might just be his final days with Taekwoon. He wants to make the most of it, but he can’t do much when everything he does is suspicious. He doubts they’re allowed to be romantically involved. He didn’t think he would get this attached. He wants to bring him flowers, but all that grows around them are _fucking lilies_ and he’s not sure exactly how he feels about that.

Was Taekwoon close to Nari? Close to Jaehwan? He’s never mentioned her before when they did talk about family, so he’s only assumed he wasn’t (though his assumptions only leave him in an unforgiving place). His reaction to a bouquet of lilies can range from anger to sadness to happiness to loneliness--to _anything._ The possibilities are endless. What’s he supposed to do about it?

“So, Hongbin,” Lieutenant Kim says, hanging his clothes into the closet, “are you happy we’re here?”

“Um,” he hesitates, “I’m indifferent.”

“I didn’t think you would be. I thought you’d be happy to see Taekwoon go.”

Hongbin snorts, but quickly straightens up. “We’ve become close. I’m sad to see him go but happy that it’s coming to an end,” he lies.

“Did you find out what personal information he has?”

“Nope.”

Two lies in a row? That’s a record.

“Well, whatever he’s needed for,” Wonshik sighs, “it’s for the good of Nari-Seung.”

“Do you happen to know why it’s called Nari-Seung?” The lieutenant looks at him and Hongbin stuffs his hands in his jacket’s pockets. “Just curious.”

“I don’t,” he answers, “but I’ll ask him someday.”

 _He won’t give you an answer,_ he thinks. “How long are we here before we move into the city?”

“Troop wants to rest here for three weeks. I think that’s pretty good. Think you can hide him for another three weeks?”

“At this rate, I can hide him for another year.” _It’s a great idea. I can hide him for another ten if you need me to. No, scratch that, we’ll have escaped by then and live normal lives in a faraway country with promised citizenship._

“Don’t get ahead of yourself, soldier,” he sings.

******

Hongbin enters a bakery. The smell from the streets was irresistible and he had change on him.

It’s sweet and cozy, the floor and walls lined with oak and the clear round table adorning the scene. Pastries filled the display cases and he found it wasn’t so expensive. He indulges in two coffee cakes (one for Taekwoon) and an iced coffee. He gets them immediately and retreats to the door when he sees a familiar profile sitting at a table alone.

Sitting across from him, he takes out the coffee cakes and gives one to Hakyeon. The other looks down at it, then to Hongbin, and back to the cake.

“The last bakery we were in caused a chain of events,” he says, taking a sip from his cup. “I wasn’t gonna stay long in this one hoping it wouldn’t happen again.”

Hakyeon stares at him.

“You can eat it, ya know. I’m not gonna have two.”

He gulps.

“Look, I’m sorry for not telling you. I thought you’d be over this. They announced it because you caught them. Not me. You would have had to find out eventually. When I saw them, they were talking about how you were making unwanted moves at Nayoung and how she had to let you know that she wasn’t available or that she wasn’t interested. I didn’t tell you because it was a secret. I’ve learned that secrets aren’t lies.”

Hakyeon looks away from him.

“Are you gonna eat the cake?”

Hakyeon shakes his head.

“Are you gonna talk to me yet?”

He shakes his head again. Hongbin puts the coffee cakes back in the bag, realizing they were not going to have a civilized conversation, and gets up.

“Thanks for standing up for me a couple days ago. I appreciated it.”

He heads for the door.

“Hongbin,” he hears Hakyeon say.

He looks at him from the corner of his eye.

“Sejeong’s a good friend.”

He exits.

******

Taekwoon had set up two pillows on the ground and dragged the small nightstand between them. Hongbin closes up the attic entrance and smiles at the gesture. He looks at his gorgeous lover, clad in a comfy white shirt and black sweatpants. He’s fresh out of a shower, but his hair is dry and it sweeps over his forehead and touches his eyelids. Everytime he looks at him, he’s reminded that he’s the greatest thing that’s happened to him. He’d risk his life for him.

“I love you,” he coos. It feels right to remind him.

“I love you too,” Taekwoon coos back. He sits down on the pillow and waits for him to join. Hongbin sits across and reaches over to place a kiss on his cute little nose. He takes out the coffee cakes and picks a piece off. They eat in silence until the pastry disappears before them.

“Can you hear the lieutenant and I talking from up here?” he asks.

“Nope,” Taekwoon says. “It’s pretty silent.”

“Hakyeon talked to me,” Hongbin mentions. Taekwoon looks at him through his hair.

“Oh, yeah? Is what he told you surprising?”

“He said ‘Sejeong’s a good friend’ and I left.”

“Sejeong? Which girl is that?”

“The Syringe.”

“Got it.”

“I don’t know what he means! I know Sejeong is a good friend, but I barely know anything about her to even consider her a friend. You know I don’t have friends. I’ve got Hakyeon, I guess Lieutenant Kim, and you though you’re way more than that of course but I know she has dark hair, fair skin, and is good with a syringe! And talked to me about stars once!”

“Get to know her better?” Taekwoon suggests. “Having friends isn’t bad.”

“You don’t know Hakyeon. Or maybe you know just enough. He loves being my only friend! It’s something he takes _pride_ in, like some sort of reward. ‘I can get Hongbin to talk to me, _I’m significant!_ ’ What am I supposed to do if he’s _recommending_ me friends?”

Hongbin furrows his brows.

“Am I not his friend anymore?”

“Don’t think that,” the other says. “He’s just...just...like doing the silent treatment. He is doing the silent treatment.”

“Yeah, you would know.”

Taekwoon laughs--music to his ears!--and gets up. He holds out his hand and helps Hongbin up. “I don’t regret it.”

“Not talking to me for weeks? It was the most annoying thing _ever._ ”

“I liked it.”

Hongbin brushes the dirt off his jeans. He’s inches away from Taekwoon, but they have nothing left to do. They were just going to eat the cake and head to bed. “I-I guess I’m done here.”

Taekwoon chortles and shakes his head. “No you’re not.”

He drags him over to his bed and forces him down. Taekwoon’s quick to straddle him. Hongbin’s mind rushes with various thoughts--maybe they should talk this over, they never have done this, or at least he hasn’t, and the fact that they’re on a bed leads to many assumptions and they haven’t voiced their consent maybe they should do that before either of them proceed with anything but what if it doesn’t even go that far and _what the fuck is he doing to my neck--_

“Taekwoon,” he manages to say in the heat of the moment, “are you sure about this?”

Taekwoon removes his lips from his neck. “Yes.” He looks behind him, then back to Hongbin. “Are you?”

“ _Yes._ ”

Taekwoon cups his face and smacks his lips down on his. _This,_ Hongbin has done before. They’ve made out for several nights and he’s mastered it. They didn’t let it get too far in case someone heard, especially since Hongbin found out that people go walk around the woods behind them.

A moan escapes Hongbin between their kisses and Taekwoon returns to his neck. He’s not too sure how he feels about it. It’s weird but satisfying. He’s not stupid, he _knows_ people do this stuff, but they tended to focus on the lips more than anything else.

Taekwoon bites down on his skin gently, but soothes it with a kiss.

“You’re quite the moaner,” Taekwoon whispers in his ear.

 _Nope._ Nope nope nope. The temperature in the room is at boiling point and Hongbin’s feeling himself melt. He’s not embarrassed at the remark but _damn it he’s embarrassed_. Is it annoying? He can’t help the moans. If anything, it’s Taekwoon’s fault that he’s like this and if anyone’s to be punished it’s--

“ _I like it_.”

He moves his way down. Hongbin shivers at his touch but he likes it!!!! A lot!!! And he won’t stop reminding him that he loves him and his moaning _what the hell is up with him and his damn moaning why is he like this and is there anyway to fix it--_

“What the _fuck._ ”

Taekwoon jumps off him at the speed of lightning, leaving Hongbin with a clear view of who caught them in the middle of their act. Lieutenant Kim’s head pokes out from the floor, eyes wide and face pale. His face reads something between disbelief and uncertainty.

“Uh, Wonshik--I mean!” Hongbin stutters. A bad case of stuttering. “Kim! Lieutenant Kim!”

“H-Having cake,” Taekwoon stutters as well. “We were having cake.”

“What’s that code word for?” the lieutenant asks.

“Nothing!” Hongbin yells. His hands fly up in protest. “We had cake! Remember! I showed you the bag with the cake _I swear to God we had cake._ ”

“Soldier, you have a purple spot on your neck.”

Hongbin’s hand flies up to his neck and his eyes whip towards Taekwoon. He avoids any gaze that comes his way by staring at the floor.

“Coffee cake we had coffee cake it was really good--”

“I can see that. Just...Just come down and talk to me.”

The attic door closes slowly and Taekwoon jolts up. “I’m sorry I’m so sorry Hongbin I should have thought this through we were so careful about it before and now I ruined it and that was the last thing I wanted to do _I’m so fucking sorry babe--_ ”

“Stop rambling,” Hongbin groans. The pit feeling in his stomach disappears, making him upset. “I won’t get in too much trouble.”

“You hate him.”

“I called him my friend ten minutes ago.”

“Frenemy.”

“Look, don’t worry about it.” He gets up and gives Taekwoon a light, full-hearted kiss. “I love you. I won’t let him try to mess this up. He has nothing on me, remember?”

“I love you too.” He points at his neck. “I’m sorry about that.”

“I’m sure I look good with it.” He opens the attic entrances and climbs down. His head pops out and he looks back at Taekwoon. “I’m sorry about _that._ ” He points at his bulge. “Fix it. You can’t hear anything down there.”

******

“Throw me your excuses, loverboy,” Kim Wonshik says, sitting in a wooden chair and propping his feet up on the coffee table. He unwraps a piece of candy and pops it into his mouth. Hongbin walks back and forth before him.

“I didn’t think this would happen,” Hongbin starts quite nervously, “because if I did I would have planned a detailed explanation but you caught us out of nowhere and neither of us were thinking and--”

“Why don’t you start at the beginning?”

“You’re _awfully_ calm about this and I want to know why.” He thrusts his hands out at him in questioning.

“What, you think it’s my first time seeing two people kiss?”

“Maybe.”

“Oh, certainly _no_ t. I’ve seen Nayoung and Soyee, Hyeyeon and Mina--”

“ _Hyeyeon and Mina?!_ ”

“--these two guys that you probably don’t remember because you had no interest in anybody else but Hakyeon, oh and believe it or not _Mimi_ has been successfully seducing--”

“I don’t need a list!”

“Alright, alright, but I’ve never seen a soldier with a refugee. You’re the first. And to add on to the title, I’ve never seen two people make out in the same living space with me, oh, and best of all, with someone _you’re supposed to send to the fucking king_! Who can literally visit _anytime_ he wants because he’s five minutes away! Walking distance! What were you thinking?”

“I wasn’t thinking!”

“Okay,” he says, placing his feet down on the floor and balancing his chin in his hand. “Start from the beginning. Like a timeline, ya know? Go.”

“Uh. Okay. Well. After the Tsukaerus came in, I thought they’d be looking for him and I had to protect him. That was my mission since the first day but I never found any real purpose of doing it for me. We disappeared for a while and I bonded with him. I learned from him. We got to know each other. He was there for me. I talked to him about things I’ve never even talked to Hakyeon about and it felt right. I found a purpose in protecting him and it wasn’t just for the king. It was because I wanted to do it. And I found myself in love.”

Hongbin wasn’t going to give him all the details. He’s be dead on the spot if he did.

“And how long has this been going on?”

“Well, I haven’t been counting the days, but maybe a month?”

“Oh, Hongbin, Hongbin, Hongbin,” he chants, shaking his head. “Who else knows?”

“...Hakyeon.”

“ _What?_ How long has that lil’ shit known?”

“Uh...about _us_ or about _him?_ ”

Wonshik grumbles. “Both.”

“He found out about Taekwoon after we got back our resources and...I don’t think he knows that we’re a thing. He might. We were together a lot in the tent.”

“Do you remember what I told you when we had a car and Hakyeon said you’d like Sejeong?”

“Not really,” he admits.

“I said something along the lines of ‘falling in love with someone in the army is going to wreck you because you’re going to protect _them_ over yourself and your family, and if you _die_ in that process, then no one’s going to protect your family or the one you fell in love with and dying for that cause suddenly becomes child’s play.’ And I think you found solitude in that.” He laughs. “And you did _exactly_ that, but worst! He’s not even in the _army_ , he’s wanted by the _king._ The one who has all the power in this land and has some sketchy shit set up for your little mission.”

“I know,” Hongbin groans. He holds his head in his hands. “I can’t let him _go._ ”

“You signed up for this,” he reminds him. “A soldier finishes his mission. Hero’s duty.”

“That’s out the window for me.”

“Is that why you halted traveling for so long? Because you didn’t want him to get here? You wanted him for yourself?”

 _Selfish._ That’s what Hongbin is. He hears the remark through Wonshik’s words.

“I’m not against it,” he advises, “but you’re fucked Hongbin.”

******

The cold winter air hits Hongbin as he steps outside. Dawn peaks through the gray clouds above and leaves random splotches of sunlight throughout. He huddles his hands under his armpits inside his snow jacket. He knew it would start getting colder eventually, but he thought he had a little more time.

Two weeks have passed since the lieutenant found out about him and Taekwoon. He set up two simple rules: no messing around when he’s in the cabin and use condoms. They followed easily.

In those two weeks, The Syringe has talked to him much more. She realized that Hakyeon was still not speaking with him and took initiative. She told him, “If you’re not with Hakyeon, then you look like a loner to me. I’m not going to let you look like worse than a loner to everyone else.”

“Why do you care?” he asked (nicely).

“You wouldn’t know, since you don’t communicate with the troop, but they talk and think you’re a loner because you only talk to Hakyeon. Now, you not talking to Hakyeon _at all?_ That’s like you not even existing. I’m not going to let that happen!” She had put her hands under her jaw and smiled. “So, what’s up?”

And since then, she’s chatted with him. He hasn’t said much except commentary on her word and then explained the whole gist of it to Taekwoon later. Hongbin wasn’t necessarily complaining about The Syringe (who he should very much be calling Sejeong now, according to Taekwoon). He was happy that she even had _interest_ in talking to him. She was friends with the girls, yes, but Nayoung and Soyee didn’t like her hanging around him much. He noticed how very left out she was from them and found reason in why she was drawn to him. They were alike. She may be more open, but they were alike nonetheless.

She had asked him why he didn’t tell her much when she told him _everything._ She said, “I know you’ve got things bottled up,” and he would reply, “No, not really.”

And it was the truth! The bottle was screwed open once he got to the attic.

“Well, you can always talk to me,” she’d remind him.

“Lee Hongbin!”

Hongbin turns to his right to find a bundled up Syr--Sejeong. A very bundled up Sejeong. She has a white beanie on and a zipped blue parka on. Her brown boots stand out against the gray pants and a black scarf hangs tightly around her neck. She comes running up to him and jogs in place when she is beside him.

“Why are you out?” she asks.

“I can ask you the same thing,” he replies.

“Well, then, I am out because I really want a chocolate croissant. And so does my only reliable friend, Han Haebin.”

“I don’t think reliability runs in that family,” he mutters.

“Oh, just because you don’t like her brother doesn’t mean she’s the same.”

“I never said I don’t like her brother.”

“You very much _did_ say you don’t like her brother.”

“How so?”

“Under your breath. With a scowl.”

Hongbin bites his tongue.

“So, why are you out?”

“Fresh air.” It’s a bullshit reason--he doesn’t know why he stepped out--but now a stop to the bakery sounds great.

“Come to the bakery with me then. I’ve got lots to tell you.”

He listens to her talk about her friends. Nayoung and Soyee switched bunk beds with Sally and Hana so they can sleep at the end of the bungalow, opposite from her. Sally is practically Hana’s child, and though it’s sweet, hearing her baby her is annoying. “They’re in the army, for fuck’s sake,” is what Sejeong said. Soyee stole a blanket from her and now she’s devising a plan to get it back. Mina and Hyeyeon are cute, but they get in arguments quite often, which tends to scare the shit out of everyone in the bungalow. They’re loud, dangerous people. Mimi cleans up the bathroom, and though it isn’t spotless, she can’t complain when she forgets to throw the wads of hair stuck to the shower drain in the trash, but damn, it’s her pet peeve. Haebin and her keep quiet at their bunk, knitting anything from finger puppets to sweaters so that they don’t break and rage. When they do talk, it’s about trivial things or about Haebin’s notorious brother. She’s learned all the torture devices he’s made! “Would you like to know?” she asked. He nodded in response. His devices are much worse than he thought.

When they get to the bakery, she heads off to the bathroom. Hongbin, seeing that they’ve got a surplus of chocolate croissants, orders a dozen. Nine for the girls (hopefully as a reconciliation gift) and three to split between him, Taekwoon, and Lieutenant Kim. He tells the cash register to keep the change and waits for Sejeong to come out.

“Let’s go,” he says.

“I haven’t ordered.”

He holds up the medium sized bag of her nine pastries, keeping the small one with his three down low. She smiles at him. “That’s the nicest thing you’ve done for me. How much?”

“Free.”

“How many are in there?”

“Nine.”

Her face darkens. “Did you buy one for each of us?” she asks as she takes the bag from him and looks inside.

“Yeah.”

She takes out a croissant and bites. “Now there’s eight,” she chews, “which is an even number, which means I can divide them equally between me and Haebin.”

Hongbin chuckles. He likes having her as a friend. He’s confident calling her that now. “I thought it could help mend the bonds between all of you.”

She shrugs her shoulders and closes the bag. “Don’t think anyone cares to have them mended. I’ve got you now anyways. Who needs them?”

He smiles.

She notices it and points at his lips. “That!” she exclaims as they exit back to the cold. “I like seeing that! How about mine?” She grins and closes her eyes. “Nice, huh?”

“Stunning,” he says.

They walk a little further, Sejeong cracking jokes through all of it, until she stops walking and gapes at the sky. Hongbin follows her gaze and sees that the clouds take up every inch except for one patch.

Right in that patch is something he hasn’t seen in a long, long time.

“A star!” she cheers. “Oh my God, Hongbin, it’s a star! _A freaking star!_ I haven’t seen one in so many years!” She puts her palm on her forehead and laughs through her smile.

“If I remember right, you were six,” he recalls from the night months ago. It was the first time she had ever spoken to him. He wanted to avoid her because Hakyeon said he’d be compatible with her, but Hongbin wanted nothing to do with that. It had come out of the blue, and that’s maybe why he remembered it. Now he’s become her friend and managed to remember the little things.

“Yeah! Yeah, oh my--I really can’t believe it. One star! One, but it’s a _star._ ”

He smiles seeing her like this. He never saw Hakyeon this happy. He wasn’t so open, and though he knew he loved trivial things like Sejeong, he never expressed it like she does. He’s glad he can catch moments like these, moments he’s only ever seen from Taekwoon and hardly from Hakyeon.

Stars. She really loves stars.

He keeps it as a note in his head.

******

The troop’s three week stay is coming to an end. Hongbin’s worried and scared. He isn’t ready to let Taekwoon go. Their nights together feel shorter and shorter with every passing moment.

He enters the cabin. “I brought you a croissant, lieutenant,” he says before his eyes catch another person in his vicinity.

Lieutenant Kim and a red-eyed Hakyeon sit across from each other on the couches in the middle of the room. Hongbin hasn’t seen his friend in weeks, even just walking around, but a little part of him is excited to see him.

Hakyeon isn’t at all.

It makes Hongbin a little pissed. “I didn’t bring him one,” he says, taking out a pastry and handing it to the lieutenant.

He grabs the ladder near the entrance to the attic and opens it up. He starts climbing when the lieutenant chuckles.

“Hakyeon here says he’s known about you two for a while,” he claims. “It was obvious, according to him.”

Hongbin’s hand rests on the handle. He was hoping that wasn’t the case, but he isn’t too surprised. “Good to know.” He pulls down the entrance and climbs in.

Taekwoon sits up on his bed and smiles at the sight of him. “What’s that?” he asks, pointing at the bag in his hand.

“Croissants,” he answers, closing the door. “Chocolate ones. You like them, right?”

He nods. Hongbin walks up to him and sits on the edge of the bed, handing him a croissant and taking a bite of his own. He’s missed the taste of chocolate gooeyness in his mouth.

“The three week stay is coming to an end soon, huh?” Taekwoon asks.

“Yeah. And it’s freezing out there.”

“How do we get to the city?”

“That’s one reason why I came here to talk.” He takes another delicious bite before he explains the protocol. “The only way to get to the city is through the castle. I’ve been in the castle twice now, but I’ve only gone so far. The troop is all going to go in collectively. I would have to go in separately with you, along with who I think will be a castle guard. They’ll lead us to the king. Now, here is where I need your input.” He leans in. “Should we just never go in after and leave? Move north together? Or should we go through the castle, manage to escape, and help the troop in the city, and...figure out life from there?”

Taekwoon shakes his head. “If we do your first choice, then all you’ve done for these past years disappears. The security for you family stops. You let your country, your _people_ down. We can’t let that happen.”

Hongbin smiles. He thought about the bigger picture, which makes him joyous. “Then, lucky for us, I have detailed plans for both. Here’s what we do: when we enter, a guard will either lead us from there or wait till we get through the hypostyle hall. If the guards get us, leave it to me, I’ll knock them out. If not, we hide through the columns. They’ll get suspicious once they realize that we haven’t arrived and they’ll open the door. We enter from there and find our way around. It’s a big castle, but I know there’s ways to get around. I also have gun. It should be easy.”

Taekwoon’s chocolate croissant is gone by the time he’s done explaining. “Okay.”

Hongbin blinks. “That’s it? Okay? You trust me with this?”

“I have no reason not to. Should I have a reason?”

“No,” he assures, “but I thought that me not telling you everything I know about why the king wants you was enough.”

“I know why the king wants me. Stop worrying so much about it.”

Taekwoon bites his nails. Hongbin holds his hand and rubs it against his cheek. They stay like this for a couple moments. He remembers all the days they spent in the forest, finding out about one another and learning about their most prized possessions. Their family. Their simple facts, like favorite foods or sports. Taekwoon’s love for his memories and how it’s all he’s got left. He remembers the constant nagging about the letter and the random history lessons he’d give almost every night. It was a great source of entertainment. Hongbin got to talk about something he loves, and Taekwoon got to listen and learn.

“September twenty-ninth,” he whispers.

“What about it?” Taekwoon asks.

“It’s my birthday. Remember? I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to blackmail me.” He laughs and kisses the top of Taekwoon’s hand. “You can blackmail me now.”

Taekwoon smiles. “Thank you for telling me.”

“A-And the ex...the experiment.” He stumbles over his words. He thought about telling him at least what he knows about it. Taekwoon’s facial expression remains calm. “I think I should tell you what I know about it. King Jaehwan said it was for the greater good of the people. I doubted that when he told me, in the letter, that Dr. Han Sanghyuk was leading it. I don’t like him. He’s done things like flying cars and the cure for cancer, but he’s also made those dangerous advancements to guns and torture machines for Tsukaerus. It’s the main reason I don’t want you meeting with the king. I don’t want you as the test subject.”

Taekwoon cups his cheeks and kisses him. “Don’t worry about me. I’m always with you. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

******

Saturday. End of the third week. Hongbin’s hands go numb as he walks to the cafeteria. He should have worn gloves. Everything left his mind due to his nervousness. Scarf? Oops. Gloves? Left them on his nightstand. He picked up his army jacket instead of a parka. He’s out of it.

Once his eyes see the girls’ bungalow, he walks a little slower. He’s not sure if Sejeong is out and already eating, but in case she isn’t, he is to pace out his steps. Luckily, she gets out of the bungalow alone and waves towards him. Hongbin waves back and stuffs his hand back in his pocket.

“Excited to go to the city today?” she asks, giving him a quick hug before they start walking together. “We’re back to useful.”

“Sure,” he lies.

“I’m excited to see the castle. Do you think we’ll see the king?”

“There’s a big chance you will.”

“Great! I wanna stick a syringe in his face.”

Quite useful after all.

“Do you wanna grab a chocolate croissant before we head to the cafeteria?” she asks. “I’ve been craving them since the last time we ate ‘em.”

“Thought you’d never ask.”

They take a quick turn and change their course. The bakery isn’t far from the cafeteria, so they won’t be too late.

This time, Sejeong pays for their croissants and scores two free hot green teas. They sit down on a couch.

“Guess what Hakyeon gave me?” she starts.

“Hakyeon gave you something?” he asks. “He _talks_ to you?”

She opens her coat and shows him a shiny metal hand gun in the pocket inside. “Brand new gun. He says he found it in the closet of his bungalow. I hope it isn’t one of the troop member’s.”

Hongbin scoffs. He opens up his jacket and shows her his too. “I’m glad to know you always keep yours with you.”

“No I don’t,” she laughs. “I only brought it out to show it off. Your gun is ugly.”

_Boom._

The sound of an explosion echoes through the bakery, but it sounds miles away. They look outside the window and do not find a single trace of smoke or fire.

“Is that normal?” Sejeong whispers.

The sound of shuffling comes from behind the register. The baker grabs the cash inside, throws it in a small backpack, and run out the back.

_Boom!_

This one sounds closer. Hongbin’s fear skyrockets.

“No…” he answers.

_BOOM!_

A bomb drops on the back bungalows behind the cafeteria. Sejeong and Hongbin jump off the couch and run out of the bakery.

_BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!_

Hundreds of soldiers fill the space in front of them, firing up above. Hongbin cranes his head towards the sky and sees two helicopters with their tails on fire. They go flying with the wind to the east, crashing down on the remains of their first bomb. The soldiers stop firing. Sejeong releases a sigh of relief when she sees the rest of the girls--even the ones she hates--and gives only Haebin a hug. Some soldiers go running towards the explosions, others stay in place, and the majority go running towards their cabins.

Taekwoon.

“Sejeong,” he says, grabbing his gun from his jacket, “I have to go.”

“Wait! I’m going with you.”

“No you’re not. I’ll see you later.”

He runs before she can stop him. His mind cramps with Taekwoon and how scared he can possibly be. Hopefully the lieutenant got him out of the attic once he heard the explosions go off. Regardless, he is still not armed as he needs to be in _this_ situation. He finally reaches his living space and sees that it’s untouched.

“Lieutenant Kim!” he calls out. He doesn’t want to enter in case he misses something. No one answers. “Lieutenant? Are you there?”

Silence.

“ _Jung Taek--_ ”

_BOOM._

Their lovely cabin goes up in flames. Hongbin scatters away, covering his face with his forearm. The heat waves make him feel grateful for the light amount of clothes he wore on such a cold day.

The loud sound of stomping and gunfire fills his ears. He turns to find his troop members running, but when he looks the other way, he finds a pack of green jackets coming towards them.

Hongbin takes aim with his gun, but something’s stopping him. The incident a while ago still has him shaken up and he can’t stop repeating _human human human human_ in his head.

“Hongbin!” he hears Sejeong cry. She runs up to him and drags him behind the remains of a bungalow. “What are you _doing?_ Shoot!”

“I-I can’t,” he confesses.

“You _have_ to. They’re attacking!”

Hongbin shakes his head, his eyesight fuzzy.

“Hongbin, listen to me. I don’t know what’s with you but you’re the _best_ soldier in the _largest_ troop of the Nari-Seung army. This is your responsibility to us, to you, to me, to your _family._ You have to do this.”

She places his finger over the trigger.

“Go out there,” she pleads. “Do this for the ones you _love._ ”

The sound of bullets is all he hears over her voice. The stench of gunpowder makes him a little dizzy. There’s so much of it.

He hears Taekwoon’s voice echo in his head.

_You’ve protected me so many times, but last night was the night you felt like you had to protect me at your best. And I’m thankful for it, okay?_

Taekwoon’s location is unknown to him. The only way he can protect the one he loves right now is by doing this. By risking his life.

The gun shakes in his hand. He looks over the edge of the remains and lifts his gun. He aims at a Tsukaeru.

He shoots.

******

After a good forty minutes of shooting aimlessly at a block of green, Sejeong leaves him to engage more. Hongbin takes that as a sign and runs off.

“Taekwoon!” he shouts. “Taekwoon, where are you?”

He moves rubble around with his foot and tries to focus on hearing a sign of life over the thousands of bullets firing.

“Lieutenant Kim!”

Nothing.

He runs towards where the first bomb dropped, behind the cafeteria. He takes one look at the scene and his heart drops to the floor. Limbs are scattered over pieces of wood and metal. He sees blue jackets burning and _blood hell there is too much blood._

“Wonshik?” he cries. What if he was in the cafeteria? He wasn’t in the cabin when he had left earlier.

“Taekwoon?” his voice cracks.

He can’t even hear anyone’s chopped breaths. He runs to the surrounding woods, calling out their names and avoiding any scenes of battle.

“Hongbin!”

Hongbin’s head whips towards the voice and he finds a perfectly clean lieutenant in his uniform.

“Hongbin, I’m alright--”

“Where is he?” is what he asks.

“He got out but I-I don’t know where he went. He ran off.”

Hongbin screams. “How could you let him go? The duty of protecting him isn’t only on me! It falls upon you too!”

“I’m sorry soldier, but I have to go fight. Go find him on your own.”

Hongbin grabs his collar before he can leave. He pulls him close to him. “If I find him dead,” he grunts, “it’s on you.”

He pushes him away and leaves.

Where can he be? Taekwoon doesn’t know the area! He can’t be hiding in a tree either, he’s not that stupid. Though it seems smart, he would have noticed the bombs falling from the sky and decided that it was not a good idea to be up there.

He scans his surroundings. There isn’t anywhere to hide. He can be dead. He can be waiting for Hongbin and wanting to die in his arms and he can’t _be there for him_ because his searching skills are _lacking_ and there’s no possible way he can live on without him in his life, no, not after all of this. There’s not a _chance--_

Hongbin’s eyes latch on the view of the castle, standing tall and unharmed before him.

_Nari._

He runs at the speed of light.

He told him not to go there. Hell, he told him to _promise._ The only thing is that he can’t remember him promising. Did he ever promise? Did he ever say the words back to him? Was he not going to follow Hongbin’s wishes? He wouldn’t be surprised--Taekwoon doesn’t _have_ to do what he says, but this one thing should have been the one thing he listens to. He even told him about the experiment and his untrusty feelings towards that _fucking_ doctor. He warned him! How could he have gone off like that?

How can he just forget about Hongbin like this? How desperately did he need to talk it out with King Jaehwan? He wish he knew so he could tell the king himself. So that _he_ could suffer the consequences on his own and spare Taekwoon! He’s never done anything wrong, no! He left Tsukaeru so he can find a better future. He hates war! He’s probably never hurt anyone in his life! Hongbin finding him and telling him about the king’s wishes was only a temporary stop for him in his journey to a better life.

God, what was Hongbin in that journey then? Was he a temporary thing too?

No, he couldn’t be. They’ve done everything together, seen them at their most vulnerable and at their most pleasurable. No one’s ever known Hongbin like Taekwoon has gotten to. He can’t just be a temporary thing. He’s more than willing to go on that journey with him and find that better place. _They love each other, damn it!_

“Taekwoon!” he shrieks. He can see the path that leads to the castle and he’s prepared to dash down it--

“Hongbin,” someone whispers.

His eyes avert below him and his hand comes flying to his mouth. On the ground is Hakyeon, sprawled out with a black jacket, blue shirt, and black sweats. A hand holds his lower side. He can see the blood seep through the shirt and his fingers under the shade of the trees. He falls to his knees and holds his body in his lap.

“What happened?” Hongbin’s voice cracks, swiping the hair from his eyes.

A finger from his free hand points behind Hongbin. He turns his head and sees a dead Tsukaeru, blood spilling out from under them.

“Look, you’ll be fine,” Hongbin says. “You’re not going anywhere. I’m here with you.”

“No,” Hakyeon hisses. “You have to-to go.”

“Not right now, Hakyeon. I can’t-can’t _leave_ you.”

“The Tsukaeru...following…”

“Don’t fade on me Hakyeon,” he pleads. He puts a hand over his wound as a tears falls from his cheek. Not his best friend. The war has taken a lot of people, but it can’t take Hakyeon. “I’m sorry I made you mad all those times.”

“Bean, stop.”

“I never meant to. I’m sorry I kept Soyee and Nayoung a secret from you, I’m sorry I left you alone, I’m sorry for making you seem pathetic for being my only friend.” His lips quiver as the words come out of him. “Please don’t leave me.”

“I forgive you!” he shouts hoarsely. “Now listen to me! Th-That Tsukaeru was f-following-- _mmph.”_ Hakyeon’s hand squeezes his wound.

“Sh,” Hongbin says. “Stop talking. You’re only gonna hurt yourself more.”

“ _Taekwoon._ ”

Hongbin freezes.

“Tsukaeru...following Taekwoon...I-I stopped it...he-he went...to castle.”

“Y-You did that for him?” He shot the Tsukaeru to make sure they don’t find Taekwoon. He figured they were looking for him those weeks ago, and he made sure they didn’t get to him now. “ _This_ for him?”

Hakyeon’s lips purse as the pain grows. He gives a quick nod and flashes a weak smile at Hongbin. “You love...him…”

A sob escapes Hongbin’s dry throat. “You didn’t have to do this, Hakyeon.”

“Yes...I did, Bean,” he breathes. His body shudders in his hold. “I see...how you look at him…it’s how I look at...my family...my friends…Nayoung...I-I couldn’t let...a _filthy Tsukaeru_ get...between that. I’ve never seen you so... _happy_...but when you’re with him...it’s like he has all the answers.”

“Shut up Hakyeon,” he begs. “Shut up.”

“Go,” his voice shakes. Tears run down the side of his face. “Go save him.”

“I can’t leave you!”

“You’re...the best friend...anyone could have asked for. And I’m thankful for it, okay?”

_And I’m thankful for it, okay?_

Hongbin sobs as the life leaves his best friend’s eyes. His arms go around his torso and he hugs him with every last ounce of love he has for him. His tears stain his black jacket and his body quakes.

He lays his body down and closes his eyes. “Thank you for your service, Cha Hakyeon.”

He stands on unstable legs and walks towards the path. Soft cries fumble out of his mouth as he moves. When he is on the path, his eyes follow its length as the ground turns into an open entrance of the castle. His heart clenches. After witnessing his best friend die and learning about the location of the love of his life, a kind of determination crumbles over him. A sense of dignity. A duty to fulfill Hakyeon’s wishes and to make sure he didn’t die in vain. A mission that is not to the king, but to himself. He has to save Taekwoon. Hakyeon risked his life for him and Hongbin’s happiness. He was not going to let that slide.

He runs up the path.

******

He puts his handgun away in his jacket. The gate of the castle wall was wide open, meaning that they were ready for the herds of troops to come running in. It means easy access for Hongbin. He walks up to the main entrance, the camouflaged blue marble door opening automatically at his presence.

This time, the lights are off and the sun from outside brightens up the room. He looks at himself in one of the many mirrors and is in shock. His brown hair is ruffled to the max, pieces of debris and gunpowder residue clinging onto each strand. His blue army jacket is covered in soot and his jeans are stained with his best friend’s blood. His eyes are bloodshot and there’s obvious traces of his tears down his cheeks.

He looks down the aisle and sees a figure at the end, wearing all black and knocking frantically at the door.

“Taekwoon?” he cries.

The figure turns around, and even from the large distance, he knows it’s the love of his life.

“Hongbin,” Taekwoon whimpers.

“Taekwoon, don’t do this,” he demands, his head shaking as he stomps down the aisle at a quick speed. “I told you this isn’t the right thing to do!”

“I need to talk to him,” he reasons.

“No.” He begins running. Taekwoon knocks faster. “You can’t do this!”

He’s halfway down the aisle (a record, considering he always feels that it takes him way too long). He can see the desperation in Taekwoon’s face.

“I won’t let him hurt you!”

“I _have_ to do this! I have to hear the words come from _him!_ I need to let him know what he did, straight to his face! What he did to my mother, my father, my _sister!_ ”

“It’s _too dangerous!_ ” Hongbin yells, now only a couple feet away from him.

“He won’t hurt me,” Taekwoon assures. “I love you.”

Hongbin sees the door behind him open up. “ _Jung Taekwoon!_ ”

He shakes his head. Now, he can see the little pools of tears at Taekwoon’s eyes.

King Jaehwan comes out the door and places a hand on Taekwoon’s shoulder. Hongbin stops running and glares at him.

“Is this Jung Taekwoon?” he asks delightfully. He smiles behind his head, and then looks right at Hongbin. “He’s been delivered by the one and only Lee Hongbin! I knew you’d come through with the mission! Perfect for the job.” He forcefully turns Taekwoon over and grins at him. He can see the flower in his pocket, and today it’s a tiger lily. “I’ve been wanting to talk to you for about five years.”

“Don’t hurt him,” Hongbin says through gritted teeth.

King Jaehwan smiles. “Yes, you’re very protective of him. He’s in _perfect hands_ , soldier. Guards!”

Two guards come out from behind him and grab a non-resistant Hongbin by his arms. Another two do the same with Taekwoon.

“Take him to the lab,” he tell the guards holding Taekwoon, “and take the other one behind the screen of it. I want him to watch me conduct the experiment.”

******

Hongbin’s pushed into a darkly-lit room. His hands are cuffed behind him as his eyes adjust. Before him is a long desk with four different computers on. One keyboard connects to all of them and little light flash from them. An office chair stays still before it. Behind the computers is a window with the view of a completely white room. It’s lit with white lights. In the center is a silver medical reclining chair. At the side rests a white headgear with adjustable screws. Next to the headgear is a lever.

“Who is this?” a voice asks.

A figure emerges from the side of the room. He can’t see any details--just the outline of his body--but he doesn’t have a good feeling.

“Lee Hongbin,” a guard replies. “He brought in the test subject.”

“The test subject has a name,” Hongbin retorts.

“Nice to meet you,” the figure says, sitting in the office chair. He brightens the room by pressing a button on his keyboard. He turns around. “I’m Dr. Han Sanghyuk.”

Hongbin pushes against the guards, but they successfully hold him back. “ _You_ ,” he hisses.

“Oh, shut up,” he says, dismissing him with a wave of his hand and turning back around, “you’re not the first one to hate me.”

“You’ve helped ruin this country!”

“Oh, but I’ve helped save _the world._ ”

“What is that?” Hongbin asks, jutting his chin out to point at the medical chair.

“It’s part of the experiment, soldier. I know you know about it. I’m the king’s friend, he tells me everything.”

“What is the experiment?”

The doctor chuckles.

“I demand to know!” he yells.

“You have _no_ power here,” he laughs. “You’ll find out when little Taekwoon comes out. I’ll have to explain it through the intercom.”

“Will it hurt him?”

“Physically, no. Mentally, well, we’ll have to see how far it goes.”

“Is this a torture device you’ve already made?”

“Awful lot of questions. You wouldn’t know about my torture devices. Most are secrets.”

“Not when your sister’s spilling out all those secrets.”

“So, you’re in the same troop as Haebin.” He presses at some buttons and he sees the head gear light up. “Are you friends with her?”

“I’m friends with her friend.”

He scoffs. “I’ll have a chat with Haebin when this is all done then.”

A door from the other side of the window opens. He sees two guards push Taekwoon in, King Jaehwan following close behind. His hands are uncuffed and they push him down on the chair. He doesn’t protest to anything. They tie his hands down and put on the head gear.

Hongbin watches him with a sting in his heart. He wanted to avoid this. He had a plan to escape together. Taekwoon went out on his own because he needed this done, but he’s known about how bad this was! He begged him not to. Now he has to watch the love of his life get tortured before his eyes, _minutes_ after witnessing his best friend die. Die to avoid _this_ situation.

He sees a guard point at Taekwoon’s wrist--the one with the bite--and shows it to the king.

“What’s that?” he hears the king ask him through the glass.

“Something bit me, Jaehwan,” Taekwoon drawls.

“That’s _king_ to you.” He pulls up his sleeve and sees the swelling. “Just _what_ bit you?”

“Something! I don’t know, okay?”

Dr. Han Sanghyuk presses a button on his keyboard. “Shall we begin?” he asks over the intercom.

The king nods. “Start explaining!”

He clears his throat and begins. “Hello, Jung Taekwoon. I am Dr. Han Sanghyuk, a scientist and a friend to the king. I’ve invented a lot of things--flying cars, non-stop ammunition to guns, cure for cancer, you name it. The king called me over to work on an experiment specifically meant for you. He wanted me to leave some sort of scar on you so that he can easily get an answer out of you. I made this device and found that, not only is it good for you, it’s good for your fellow Tsukaerus. You’re just the first to try it.

“Here’s what this experiment is. The head gear uses microlasers to literally connect to your brain, or more specifically, the areas that deal with your memory. To keep this in a language you all will understand, it will rummage through your memories--your most intimate, most important, most appreciated--and... _catch it_ , so to speak. The lever, well, King Jaehwan will have control of that. With each pull of the lever, you will slowly forget. Like short term memory loss, but you never, ever remember it. You can’t go back and retrieve it.”

Taekwoon’s eyes go wide at the explanation.

Take his _memories._ How could they! Take the most _precious_ thing to Taekwoon. The _only_ thing he has of everyone he loves. God, he knew he shouldn’t have come. He knew it would be a bad idea and he _knew_ it would hurt him.

“Any last words?” Dr. Han asks.

“Your lil’ protector’s on the other side of that screen,” the king reminds him, pointing at the screen. “Mr. Lee Hongbin. You should tell him something before you start _forgetting._ ”

Taekwoon looks at the window.

“Can he see me?” Hongbin asks the doctor.

“No,” he answers.

“Hongbin,” Taekwoon shouts. Hongbin bites his lower lip at the sound of his name. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t touch him!” Hongbin cries.

“He can’t hear you,” the doctor says.

“Press the fucking intercom! Do _something!_ ”

He sees him press a button and glare over his shoulder, signaling him to talk

“Taekwoon, don’t worry. I love you and I’m sorry I put you through this. I promise I won’t forget you I’ll _never_ forget you I swear.”

Taekwoon smiles. King Jaehwan scowls at the two of them and pulls the lever. Taekwoon grits his teeth and Hongbin cries out.

“I’m gonna start talking,” the king begins. “Let’s go back in time. We grew up together buddy! Neighbors and all! We talked to each other from the windows of our bedrooms. You, being older and all, made me feel cool! I was friends with someone _older_ than me! By two years, sure, but still! It was a big deal. I remember the very day I met your lovely sister Nari. Our families were going out to dinner together and they decided to have one baby sitter for the both of us. We were little, I was at least six, but I knew she was beautiful. It was mere child’s play, but you know that’s not how it went about.

‘“We fell in love. It was wonderful. That giddy feeling in you that just takes control every time you think about the person you love--wow, it was in me all the _time_. She stood by me when my dad went all coocoo and really tried. I let her down. I let you down. I let your family down. You all left because of what my father did and how he left you. I would have done something if she dropped hints. I don’t blame you, but it’s left me thinking for _all these years_.” He pulls the lever again, making Taekwoon grip the hand rests. “ _What happened to her?_ ”

Taekwoon smiles, leaving Hongbin nervous. “I thought you’d never ask, Jaehwan,” he says.

“ _King!_ ” he screams, pulling the lever further down.

“Don’t do it too quickly,” the doctor says over the intercom. “I told you what happens when you do. There’ll be no point after.”

“Shut it, Hyuk. Explain, Taekwoon.”

“As you wish, your highness,” he smirks. “When your dad took control, he attacked the people in the neighborhood. Not physically, but economically. Nari would come to my room every night and cry. She’d cry because you wouldn’t listen to her. You wouldn’t take her advice, you’d ignore her problems. She knew that if she came out about the issue, you’d disregard it or not believe it because you were so in sync with your father. So, yes, she dropped hints. She’d mention the financial crisis, connect it to the neighborhood and all. She was smart about it. You were dumb enough to not figure it out.

“She would _not_ stop crying the day we left. When we were on the plane to Japan. She blamed herself for not being able to pull you out. She convinced herself she failed you and that she couldn’t salvage what was left for you too. But Nari...Nari never stopped loving you. Even when we were in Japan with a whole new life ahead of us, she never forgot you. She’d remind me and my parents that you were brainwashed into it all. You were never like this.

“But that changed quickly. She saw how you willfully agreed to the horrors you were inflicting upon the people. She saw you smile at their fall. She began to despise you. Then, you became king. You became king and ruined her, even from across the fucking sea. You renamed the country Nari-Seung, _lily rise._ After _her!_ You were telling her to come back by renaming the whole country! The country that destroys their people _bit by bit!_ You permanently made her associated with it and she hated you for it. She blamed herself once again. She blamed herself because she realized that all you did was to gain her attention. You were obsessed. _No one_ appreciates that.”

King Jaehwan’s knuckles turn white on the lever. He pulls again. Taekwoon yells in agony and Hongbin winces.

“ _Then_ you invaded!” he continues, not afraid of the consequences. “You invaded the newly-renamed country Tsukaeru. Why? Little people know to this day. You invaded where we lived. Our lovely little city, vibrant with color and people. You ruined it through airstrike and killed us through gunfire. We hid in the basement of our house, but Nari wasn’t there. I went out to look for her, hoping she was on her way or _something!_ I called for her through the house, I looked in her room, and she was nowhere. I knew she was home but _where!_ Where was she! I looked out our front window and saw her in the middle of the street, looking up at the helicopter over. I shrieked her name out. I did anything to get her attention, but she ignored me. I looked up and saw bags dropping. I couldn’t look. I had no time to do anything. I ran as quick as possible to the basement, and right when I got in, it went off. They _all_ went off.”

Tears flow down his face. Hongbin can catch the king’s face turn red. At this rate, he can break off the lever. He pulls, this time going up two notches instead of one. The doctor sighs and mutters something under his breath.

“ _Your_ airstrikes fell on Nari!” Taekwoon insults. “ _Your_ stupid war, _your_ ego, _your_ people did that to Nari!” He catches Jaehwan’s glare. “ _You killed Jung Nari!_ ”

King Jaehwan screams, “I did _not!_ ” His body trembles and he pulls the lever quickly.

“Jaehwan, be _careful,_ ” Dr. Han Sanghyuk warns.

“Shut up Sanghyuk!” he screams. He ditches the lever and grabs onto Taekwoon’s collar. “I did not kill her! She loved me! She loves me!”

“She _hated_ you,” Taekwoon spits.

“No! She loved me! She cared for me! She knows I didn’t kill her, I couldn’t have killed her! I love her with my everything! I did nothing to Nari!”

“You killed my sister! My only sister, my _baby_ sister! You robbed everything that made her! Her personality, her values, you took everything from her! You took it from me, my mom, my dad, all for your own benefit!”

The king lets go and returns to the lever. “I did _no such thing._ ”

“Jaehwan,” the doctor hisses, “control your temper!”

Hongbin’s confused. Why does he keep warning him? What happens if he pulls the lever too quickly?

“How many memories has he lost, Hyuk?” the king yells.

“Twenty percent.”

The door opens and a guard comes in. “Press the intercom!” she demands.

“It’s on,” the doctor says. “What’s happening?”

She runs over to the mic. “Your highness--”

“Who _is_ that?” the king asks.

“Castle guard, your highness. Tsukaerus are attacking the castle. We _need_ to evacuate.”

The king laughs. “They can’t do anything. Just close the doors.”

“My king--”

“Leave me be!” he screams.

She hesitates at the mic, wanting to say something but not sure if she should.

“Leave!” he demands again.

“My king, they set the castle wall on fire. We need to _leave._ ”

Everyone in the room straightens up. She runs out. Hongbin can smell smoke. His insides shiver and panic spreads throughout.

“Marble can’t be lit on fire,” the guard holding Hongbin states.

“Well then,” Sanghyuk says, “something’s either extremely wrong with our marble or they’ve got some advanced fire.”

The king begins to panic as well.

“Now death comes to you,” Taekwoon coos, “by the people you _killed._ By the Tsukaerus.”

Jaehwan grits his teeth. “You’ve said _enough,_ Taekwoon.”

“Oh, I’ve got more to say, Jaehwan. I’ve still got most of my precious memories. The ones of my family, the ones of my days here, the ones of _Nari._ I’ve got it all. You, on the other hand, only have memories to _haunt_ you.”

“Jaehwan,” the doctor warns again.

“Do _not_ talk to me like that!” he shouts at Taekwoon. His fingers grip the lever.

Three guards go into the lab. “The fire’s spread to the entrance of the castle, your highness.”

“We need to go,” the guard to Hongbin’s right says. “All of us.”

“No,” Hongbin says. “No, they have to get Taekwoon first. They can’t leave him there.”

“Stop worrying about your boyfriend.”

“The revenge,” Taekwoon says, “for _Nari_ begins now.”

“ _SHUT UP!_ ” King Jaehwan says, pulling the lever down in one swift motion till it reaches the end.

“Jaehwan, no!” the doctor yells over the intercom.

Taekwoon _screams._  It's absolutely horrendous. He squirms in the binds and his eyes shut.

“What’s happening?” Hongbin asks frantically. He can’t stand to see the sight. “What did he do!”

“Stupid _fucking_ Jaehwan,” Dr. Han mutters as he holds his head in his hands. “The lever would only allow for forty percent memory loss if he pulled it at a slow pace.”

“He didn’t,” Hongbin remembers.

“He pulled it too quick. This stupid idiot. Now it’s all gone.”

“What? What’s all gone?” he asks. The guards start pulling him out the door, but Hongbin pushes against them.

Then it hits him. His memories. His memories are _gone_. His last remnants of his family, his friends, his home, gone in one quick movement of a lever. His memories of _them_. Of those long nights spent together, the little facts, their birthdays. Taekwoon...won’t remember Hongbin. He won’t remember his lover. He won’t remember _anything._

His body goes numb. The guards drag him out and he sees the doctor following close behind. He can smell the flames and he can see the light of fire from the space between the door and the main hall. “Get up!” a guard holding him yells.

His legs come back to life and he stumbles in their hold. He regains his balance and runs towards the end of the castle. He doesn’t see anyone behind or in front of them, creating worry in his chest. _Where is Taekwoon?_

His mind goes blank. He has a gut feeling an exit is coming up, but he can sense the fire already burning through the walls.

“There!” a guard says, pointing up ahead at a small, wooden door. “The exit!”

All four of them speed up and get out of the castle. The marble ground turns into a mix of sand and gravel. The guards and doctor ditch him and run straight for the towering city in front of them.

Hongbin runs a little further and looks back. The flames have engulfed half of the castle now. He turns away and runs straight for the city, calling out the only name in his mind.

“Taekwoon!” he coughs. “Taekwoon, where are you?”

Before him, people scramble out of buildings. They’re screaming out names. Children’s cries fill the air and dust flies everywhere. Hongbin has an urge to help, but his hands are still cuffed behind his back. He starts speed walking, searching every nook and cranny for Taekwoon. Some people come up to him, asking him questions like “have you seen my baby?” or “are you okay?” He ignores them and continues to call out.

A loud crash resonates. He pivots and sees a watchtower crumble to the ground. The flames have submerged the castle completely now.

Hongbin wanders, his voice becoming raspy and his legs growing restless. His arms are numb and his head spins in circles.

“Taekwoon….Taekwoon, please….”

He falls to his knees. He accepts the fact that he won’t find Taekwoon. He may not even recognize him. He may not know his own name, where he’s from. There’s no way he can gain it all back. His memories, the most precious things to him, gone in a second. In a fit of rage from a selfish, obsessive king. Now, only Hongbin can reminisce.

He sobs. His body shudders and he falls on his side. He wants to help Taekwoon get back up on his feet, remind him that they love each other, but he can’t even _find_ him.

“Hongbin!”

He would have gotten up at the sound of his name. He _would_ have opened his eyes and be greeted with the sight of Taekwoon.

But his ears were still working. It was not the voice of Taekwoon. It was not the voice of Hakyeon. It was not the voice of Lieutenant Kim. It was not the voice of King Jaehwan. It was not the voice of Dr. Han Sanghyuk. It was not the voice of Hongbin.

Sejeong’s shadow falls over him as she hovers. “Hongbin, are you okay?” she asks, pulling him into her lap. “Hongbin, what happened? Please tell me. Tell me at least _this_.”

Her hands fall on his behind his back. Her fingers trace the metal of the cuffs. “Who did this?”

His breathing steadies, but his crying continues. She hugs him tightly. “We’re safe, okay? The fighting ended and the fire has ceased. We’re far away from everything.”

“Sejeong,” he whispers, “Hakyeon died in my arms,” he cries. “Just like this.”

Sejeong purses her lips. “I’m sorry.”

“Another person close to me disappeared.”

A tear falls from her cheek. “Me too, Hongbin. Haebin was killed.”

“I don’t wanna do this anymore.”

“And that’s okay!” she reassures, sniffling and patting down his hair. “That’s okay.”

He sighs into her chest. “When this is all over, I’ll tell you everything. I’m sorry I kept secrets.”

“Don’t be. If anything, it taught me to be patient. That’s something I never was. And I’m thankful for it, okay?”

******

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't worry folks, the angst isn't over because i've got an epilogue!!!!!!!!!!!


	5. epilogue: memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hongbin loses some more.

 

Epilogue

The war comes to an end, Nari-Seung being victorious. It takes three months for them to get to that point.

But three months was enough to put Hongbin in endless despair.

He was never the same. The loss of Hakyeon left a permanent scar on everyone in the troop. Hongbin’s personal loss of Taekwoon tore him to shreds. He was alone in the tent for a couple of weeks. He couldn’t sit on his cot for more than a couple of seconds without running away to scream. Knowing Hakyeon wasn’t going to barge in and ask him about his day pulled at his heartstrings. Knowing that, when he walked into the back compartment, there’d only be emptiness didn’t do him any good either.

No one noticed Hongbin’s state at first. He was silent, as he usually was, when around the troop. There was no reason to lash out at the lieutenant because he didn’t pull any stupid shit. Those couple of weeks, they spent helping out with the people of the city and rebuilding the town. He didn’t let himself get near the castle.

Everyday, he went out and called for Taekwoon. There was a small piece of hope lodged in his brain, telling him that _yes_ he’ll remember him. He’ll remember the love of his life, his own name, his family, everything that was said to be lost, but by the end of every search, he reminded himself it was impossible.

Hongbin had the difficult job of helping load up the bodies. He avoided going anywhere near the area Hakyeon died. He helped around the cafeteria, did his best at being precise with his counting. In doing so, he realized he didn’t want anymore to do with this.

The troop started to worry for him when he created a scene at the campfire. Lieutenant Kim had announced that they were going to get new recruits in a couple days. He thought being a big troop was important and that he could control them easier that way. No one was surprised by the act, but it was obvious that many were not pleased.

Hongbin did not speak out, as he used to before. Instead, Sejeong did. She had asked the one question on everyone’s mind: _why?_

Everyone lost someone. Hongbin had lost Hakyeon and Taekwoon. Sejeong lost Haebin. Mina lost Hyeyeon. Hana lost Sally. Suddenly, they were being replaced.

Lieutenant Kim, there, had returned to his stupid shit. Calmly, but with all the force and power he had, told her, “Because, in this troop, every life is replaceable.”

The sentence struck everyone. Hongbin, for the first time ever, saw rage flare into the sweet eyes of Sejeong. He had no right to claim her best friend’s life was replaceable, not when she was the only thing that supported her and kept her sane through all the pointless drama between the girls. Sejeong, knowing better, didn’t talk back.

Hongbin, _not_ knowing better, did.

He had stood from his position and told Sejeong to sit so he could take care of it. He had screamed at the lieutenant. He had proved him wrong with every word off his tongue. Each syllable had a fire to it and he saw it burn down Lieutenant Kim. He yelled at him, telling him no life was replaceable. That Hakyeon could never be replaced. That Haebin couldn’t either. No one, in any troop, could have their lives replaced so easily and quickly. It hadn’t even been a week when he announced this. No one’s life had returned to normal, no one was back to protocol.

He had begun crying in front of them. His clenched fist was ready attack, according to Sejeong. He would have knocked him out. Put that stupid Wonshik back in his place. But Sejeong held him back and took him to _her_ tent. Not his.

“I’ve seen you in the woods,” she had told him, “screaming. I’ve seen you leave your tent to do it. I was up in the trees because I couldn’t stand being in my tent alone either. Not without Haebin. I think you and I need someone. We can both help each other now, Hongbin.”

And they did. Sejeong was able to recover much, _much_ more quickly than Hongbin. Sejeong was only extremely close with Haebin. Though the losses of Hyeyeon and Sally hit her, it was never equal to the pain of Haebin.

In time, he told her everything, as he promised himself. He talked about Hakyeon and their friendship over the years. He’d recall his mishaps and clumsiness. He then told her everything from the first moment he entered the castle to the last time he left it burning. He remembered every detail from the day he found Taekwoon and how he didn’t talk. How _annoying_ it was, having to take care of him. That annoying job becoming something he wanted to do. He told Sejeong the little details that she probably didn’t care about, but talking about them made his heart flutter and his eyes water. He found that he loves talking about Taekwoon and his adventures and how their relationship evolved from an equal mistrust and hatred to a innocent friendship to a passionate love. He smiled mentioning the cheesy moments and how he felt about him.

He sobbed when he reached the events of the castle. The experience of his best friend dying in his arms, trying to salvage the only thing that made Hongbin happy. The momentum in running down a hall to save the love of his life from a wicked experiment. The loss of a life of memories at the pull of a lever.

And she listened.

Sejeong had payed attention to everything he said. She had rubbed small circles in his back when he got to the painful part. She cried with him when it got to her too. Hongbin found that she was his rock, like Taekwoon. They were very different people, but she had the qualities Taekwoon had to help Hongbin in life. He also found that she was his best friend, like Hakyeon. She shared with him her moments in life. They created memories together.

She held him back when he lost it in front of everyone. When the recruits _did_ come, Hongbin was the first to do something about it. His lecture had turned into a list of commands and no one had the bravery to get him to shut up except Sejeong.

His constant tantrums lead him to being transferred. Lieutenant Kim knew better than to just let Hongbin go on his own, so he transferred Sejeong with him. Their new troop was a mere ten people, with a kinder lieutenant and soldiers who were open to new family members. Hongbin was able to feel accepted in this new family and became open to speaking out on his issues. Though many he kept private with Sejeong, he knew that what he experienced and learned should be shared with this crowd. This troop was barely confronted with Tsukaerus. It was a good way to end the last months of the war.

Now, Hongbin lives in a small apartment with Sejeong in the Upper Eastern Province. Living with your best friend is fun in his book. They barely keep any secrets from each other now. Hongbin complains about the kind of art commissions his patrons give him, but it was good money. Sejeong comes from work and starts talking about the latest office drama or her online boyfriend from some European country he could care less about. She tells him everything and vice versa.

But he didn’t tell her where he’d be today.

He took a flying bus ride down to the Lower Southern Province. The war ended a month ago and mostly everything was back to normal. Not every soldier’s family had returned to them. There were a lot of families to return. Only Sejeong’s older brother returned to her--her father’s illness had taken him before he could receive help.

This meeting he is attending is long overdue.

The castle was rebuilt the same. The same marble, the same castle wall, the same _blue_ \--even though it had burned, it looked no different than before.

The gates open after a camera recognition test and the doors unlatch before him.

He scoffs. Mirror walls, blue columns, white marble floors, and a dreadfully long aisle ahead. There’s a pang in his chest just standing in the hypostyle hall, recalling that morning those months ago. His reaction to his reflection, the small figure at the end of the aisle, all like it happened yesterday.

His stride down doesn’t feel like hours. It feels like five minutes, which is what it probably takes anyways. This time, a guard clad in beige greets him.

“Lee Hongbin, is it?” the guard asks.

His brow arches. “Yes,” he says, “how did you know?”

“The king is expecting you. I also dragged you out of the exit that day.”

“Oh.” _And held me against my will and forced me to watch my lover lose his memories and make me meet the one guy I had never met but had not even a speck of trust in and--_ “Thank you.”

The guard knocks on the door. They wait in silence for a couple of seconds, and then the gigantic door opens up.

King Jaehwan stands in the crevice between the door and the wall. His blonde hair is slicked back and his white suit is spotless. In his breast pocket sits a lovely yellow lily.

Hongbin’s learned to control his temper, but he still wants to kick him across the room.

“Hongbin,” the king greets, “good to see you. Come in.” He opens the door wider and Hongbin steps in.

He walks behind the king along the red carpet. His black velvet throne is still the same, along with the blue marble walls.

“We very much need to talk,” the king states, sitting in his throne while Hongbin stands patiently in front of him. “Where shall we begin?”

A good question. He’s got a full list of topics, but where to begin is difficult. King Jaehwan has a lot of answers.

First, he decides, he should begin with the reason he is here.

“I delivered Taekwoon to you,” he says in a calm demeanor, “and my reward for doing so was specific. My family and I get citizenship to a country far from here, with no chance of war anytime soon. I’ve come to collect that reward first.”

The king nods. “It would mean I’d have to get your family here.”

“Yes. I would very much like to see my mother and sisters again.”

The king begins to laugh. Hongbin furrows his brows. Why is he laughing?

“Oh, Hongbin, you are truly innocent. You know a lot. You know about the secret history and my reason for the name change. You know why I wanted Taekwoon. You know too much about me. You know my weakness! I thought you would have figured this out before I had to tell you.”

“What does me knowing about you have to do with my family?”

He slaps his knee. “They’re dead!”

Hongbin freezes. He mustn’t have heard that right. Maybe his ears were playing tricks on him.

“Oh, but your citizenship is ready!” he adds, still laughing.

Hongbin’s mind is blank. “What do you mean they’re dead?” he asks, putting his hands behind his back so he doesn’t thrash out.

“I told you! You know too much. I can’t risk you telling your family about it! Imagine the _consequences_ , oh, no! My throne and all? I’m sorry. Your sisters and mother were killed.” A guard walks up to his side and hands him a folder. “Here are your citizenships!”

“No. _No!_ You’re brushing this off so easily. H-How could my family be dead?” Tears swell in his eyes. He swears if he just wakes up, he’ll find this is all a nightmare. “What about other families?”

“Alive and well. Now, do you want this citizenship?”

“My mother and sisters had _nothing_ to do with this! You had no reason to even touch them! Why would you do something like this? Haven’t you done enough?”

“Oh, c’mon, you know my reasoning behind it. It makes sense.”

“It does _not_ make sense! You’ve got four murders on your hands now!”

“I thought you only had two sisters.”

“You killed Taekwoon’s sister too.”

King Jaehwan glares at him, inhales deeply, and slowly exhales. “I have two citizenships ready for you.”

“ _Two?_ Did you not plan for my sisters and their husbands and such?”

“Ha! No. The only person _you_ registered into my security is your mother. You dream big, Lee. Do you still want the extra?”

“I can’t believe you.”

“Yes, you can. Now, the extra citizenship? I’m sure you know someone who wants it. I know you want these citizenships. You wouldn’t have come here if you didn’t.”

Hongbin purses his lips. The only other person he knows is Sejeong, and they’ve become very dependent on each other. She’d go wherever he’d go. They both want out of Nari-Seung anyways. “I’ll keep it.”

“Splendid!” King Jaehwan throws the folder in the air and Hongbin catches it. “You can go now. I think we both have an urge to beat one another up right now. Guards!”

A pair of guards come in and lead Hongbin out of the throne room. Down the red carpet, he thinks. His family lost their lives because of the king’s ego. Hongbin was right. The only thing he had to ever protect was his ego. There was nothing more to it. The blame, as always, fell upon the king.

Joining the war and becoming a soldier proved pointless. His family was not protected. They were _killed._ The only good out of it was Hakyeon, Taekwoon, and Sejeong. Nothing more mattered.

Once he’s at the door, he turns and calls out, “King Jaehwan!”

The king straightens the lily in his pocket and moans, “Now what?”

“What happened to Taekwoon?”

The king stands. “All I know is that they found him after the fire. He remembered nothing, as I had caused. The bite, though, proved interesting. Whatever bit him, it put in his bloodstream a tracking liquid. It is why the Tsukaerus had always found out your troop’s location. I believe the Tsukaerus somehow found out about him and wanted him. Most of it remains a mystery. Where Taekwoon is now is unknown to me.”

******

The best friends found themselves in Finland.

Hongbin had chosen this country. The citizenship offered different countries, and after much research, he had chosen the country whose night sky filled with stars. He did that for Sejeong--it was the least he could do since he was dragging her over there. She insisted that he was not dragging her, that she wanted to do this just as much as he did. She only wanted a nice place to live in. Nari-Seung was no longer home to them. It was just the remains of a war neither of them appreciated.

They’ve lived here for four years now. It was the most peaceful thing in the world to them. The city they lived in was gorgeous, especially in winter. The landscapes were beautiful. They made it a tradition to go see the Northern Lights every Christmas.

Hongbin can tell you every detail of Sejeong’s face when she looked up and saw the stars. Her eyes glittered with the starlight. Her face glowed. She got emotional. He’s seen her happy cry a couple times, but this was something completely different. She thanked Hongbin a thousand times.

Her online boyfriend happened to live in Finland. She met him and they were very cute together. Hongbin will admit. Her boyfriend and him clearly did not trust each other. She called Hongbin “a second brother” in hopes that it would make her boyfriend a little more calm about the situation. He had every right to be suspicious, but after the months of talking with one another, he thought he would have been mentioned about once in their online conversations.

“No, I never mentioned you!” she told him. “If he found out I was living with my best friend, who happened to be a guy, what would he think of me?”

“If he thinks lowly then you should not keep in touch with him.”

Her boyfriend and him eventually got along. They found common interests and they both cared deeply about Sejeong. In fact, Hongbin was able to scare him quite often. He liked that.

It’s another one of those winter days in their lovely city. On days like this, he found comfort in walking around the park. Unfortunately, he was on his way to work. Hongbin doesn’t have a dreadful job. He’s still making art, but it’s for a company. He isn’t taking commissions anymore. He found he makes more money this way.

He walks to his work. It isn’t far. It takes him fifteen minutes, twenty if he goes into the bakery across his apartment. The snow crunches under his boots. It’s a feeling that has become common in these four years. Sejeong hates the snow, but she’ll go outside with him sometimes.

He walks across the park to get to where he needs to be. Children play in the snow and adults chat among themselves. He greets any that catch his eye with a smile. The people here are nice, so they smile back. Everyone knows each other by some degree and all of them are familiar faces in the city.

All except one.

The people have never seen him before. They kept on glancing his way. He doesn’t live in the city. He has a tall, lean body under the parka. None of them would have ever noticed this man.

But Hongbin knows him too well. He’s cut the skin under the parka. He’s kissed every inch. He’s aided the swelling up his arm. He’s ruffled the hair with his fingers. He’s looked into those blue eyes. He’s counted the freckles under them.

Hongbin knows Jung Taekwoon more than anyone.

He stops walking. He’d notice him anywhere, even after four years.

_Trick_ , he tells himself. _Tricks, your mind is playing tricks. Your eyes are deceiving you. This city is telling you lies._

He knows it’s not. None of what he’s hearing is right. He knows Taekwoon, he can’t mistaken him. He never has.

“Taekwoon,” he says under his breath. He can’t move. His feet are as wrapped in socks as possible, but he feels them go numb.

No! He can’t remember his name. Does he even go by Taekwoon anymore? He won’t remember Hongbin. There’s no possible way. The king may have told him a whole different life story after they found him. None of it was possible! _None!_

_ He might. He might remember. _

Might. A small chance, but a chance nonetheless. Taekwoon might be able to go back and remember. It couldn’t have been that serious...could it?

He feels his feet move forward. His mind is telling them to stop, to not go near him at all. No Jung Taekwoon, not today. He’s in Finland, but it’s just a coincidence. He’s just traveling. He has a whole new life now! Both of them! Hongbin lives with scars and Taekwoon gets to walk free from them!

The king _couldn’t_ have sent him to Finland. He _wouldn’t._

“Taekwoon,” Hongbin says louder, clearing his throat. “Jung Taekwoon!”

He doesn’t look towards him. He waits on the bench, fiddling with something in his hands. He can’t even recognize his voice?

“Taekwoon! Taek--”

His voice dies as a woman approaches him. When Taekwoon’s eyes fall on her, he gets up and hugs her with that _genuine_ smile. They have a small conversation, and from there he does the unpredictable.

He gets down on one knee.

The woman covers her mouth with her hands. The people around look at the event in awe. Hongbin sees him mouth the words.

_ Will you marry me? _

The woman nods. The people cheer and send their congratulations. Children run around the happy couple. He gets up and lifts her into the air. He puts the ring on her finger and kisses her like it’s the last thing he’ll ever do.

Hongbin’s heart clenches in his chest. Looking at them, he sees what could have been. How eventful a future with him would be if he remembered.

“I love this woman!” Taekwoon yells, his fiance hiding her face in his chest. “I love her so much!”

Hongbin’s feet shuffle. He walks at a quick pace, his eyes straying away from the happy scene. It hurts him. It hurts him so much and all he wants to do is talk to Sejeong. He’ll get her on the phone during his lunch break.

Why did it hurt so much? You’d think he’d be over Taekwoon. Years have passed. He’s a memory. He’s a good memory, one he’ll cherish for the rest of his life, but its value is so little. Its value is so little because Taekwoon doesn’t have the same memory.

It hurts because Hongbin still loves Taekwoon and a piece of him felt he’d get that love in return.

******

“Sejeong Sejeong Sejeong.”

“What?” she says on the other line.

“Something happened.”

“What happened? Are you okay? You don’t sound too good.”

“I saw something.”

“What did you see?”

“I can’t tell you over the phone. I need to leave. I haven’t felt good all morning.”

“Just come walk back home.”

“No no no I can’t walk. I can’t walk back home I don’t want to.”

“Hongbin, really, what happened?”

“Can you come pick me up please. I’ll tell my boss I have to leave early just please come pick me up Sejeong.”

“Okay okay I’ll be there in ten.”

******

Sejeong knew how to handle it. She let him cry in her arms the whole day.

******

Hongbin finished his painting. It took him two whole weeks and he believes he needs to celebrate. He loves to celebrate at the bakery with a yummy chocolate croissant.

“You haven’t come in for a while,” the baker says. His black attire stands out against the white walls of the little heaven. “The regular?”

“Yes please,” Hongbin replies.

“Chocolate croissant and hot green tea coming right up.”

Hongbin smiles. The baker likes to strike up a conversation with him when the bakery is practically empty. “How have you been?” Hongbin asks.

“Good. It’s been busy around here.” He turns on some machine and hears the boiling of water. “Empty in the mornings, busy in the afternoons. You?”

“Great. I finished this painting I’ve been working on for the company. Took me a while and I’m celebrating like this.”

“That’s fantastic! Maybe someday I’ll have you paint a lil’ something for the bakery.”

He laughs. “I’ll do it when I have some free time.”

The baker hands him a paper bag with his croissant and his cup of tea. He leans in close over the counter and says in a low voice, “You know everyone in this part of the city knows each other, whether it’s facial recognition or personally, right?”

Hongbin nods, ready to take a sip of his tea but staying close.

“Do you know who that guy sitting at the table over there is?”

Hongbin turns his head and almost drops his cup. Taekwoon swirls a coffee straw in his drink and scrolls down his phone. His blue eyes are focused and he probably hasn’t heard a word the baker said.

“He’s been sitting here for about twenty minutes,” the baker continues, “and he’s just been taking small sips of his coffee. He finished his chocolate croissant a while ago.”

Hongbin’s eyes widen. _Chocolate croissant._

There’s a reason why Hongbin loves it. Yes, it tastes like something God made, but it’s also his “last meal” with Taekwoon. It’s a staple food between him and Sejeong, like the hot green teas.

“I saw him a couple weeks ago,” he whispers to the baker. “I’ll go talk to him.”

His legs shake as he walks towards the table. He’s hoped for this moment for years in his head, telling himself that it was impossible. There was no way he could ever see Taekwoon again. Now he’s going to talk to him. He’s either going to miraculously remember him or not. He’ll maybe even start to recollect slowly. Right?

_ Right? _

Taekwoon looks away from his phone. His eyes follow Hongbin’s body as he lowers himself into the chair. They stare at each other. Hongbin is giddy but Taekwoon’s face says he’s confused.

“Can I help you?” he asks.

“Uh-uh, no,” Hongbin stutters, “I-I mean yes! Yes. Yes, you can help me.”

Taekwoon slowly nods. “With?”

“Uh, uhm, are you new here?” he wonders. “I-It’s just everyone here knows each other and your face is new.”

“I’m new to _this_ part of the city. I lived further north and decided that I liked it here more. It’s a good place to begin a new life.”

“N-New life?”

“Uh, yeah. I just proposed to my long time girlfriend.”

“O-Oh. Congratulations.”

“Thank you.”

They sit in silence. Hongbin takes a drink from his tea and places his croissant over the bag. He tears off a piece and bites.

“I’m sorry,” Hongbin breaks in, “I should have introduced myself. I’m Hongbin. I’ve lived here for four years with my best friend.”

“Cool,” he says, “I’m Leo.”

_ He’s who? _

“Leo?” Hongbin repeats.

“Yes, Leo.”

Hongbin stares at him. His legs shake under the table. “Do you know a Taekwoon...by any chance?”

“Taekwoon? No. Is he famous?”

“No no no. I-I just…” Hongbin purses his lips. “I just thought you might know him.”

He doesn’t remember his _name._

“Did you live somewhere else before Finland?” Hongbin asks. “I lived in, uh, Nari-Seung.”

“Oh! I was there for a couple weeks. I’m from Tsukaeru, actually. I lived there my whole life. I stayed in Nari-Seung because I knew some people who could help me move.”

_Yeah right._ “Why’d you move?”

“I didn’t like Tsukaeru much.”

He doesn’t remember where he’s _from._

“Any family?” Hongbin asks.

“No, my parents died when I was young.”

“Siblings?”

Taekwoon--no, _Leo_ \--laughs. “Not that I know of!”

He doesn’t remember his _family_. Not even Nari.

“W-What did you do in your stay during Nari-Seung?” Hongbin’s learning all the lies implemented in his lover’s brain.

“I stayed in the city outside the king’s castle. I met him too! He’s a nice man. He’s really the one who helped me move here.”

“Is that so.” That king’s helped no one in any way.

“Yes.” He leans in closer. “I’m sorry, Hongbin, but is something wrong? You look awfully pale.”

Hongbin’s trying to keep the shake from coming all over his body. His last remaining hope has failed him. Taekwoon has a different name, a different lover, a different history, a different _memory._ His Taekwoon is gone. He’s _gone._

One last chance. _One last chance._

“Do you remember me?” Hongbin asks. “We-We’ve met before. I--You probably don’t remember. I thought we were close.”

“Uh, no,” Taekwoon says. “I think I’d remember someone like you.”

Tears try to come out his eyes. He stuffs his croissant back in his bag and clenches his cup. His hope for something is gone. This isn’t the same man he met those years ago, the one he still loves to this day. “I-I have to go. It was good meeting you.” He gets up and heads for the door.

Leo. _Leo_ grabs his arm before he can leave. Hongbin looks down at him as the other searches his eyes. “I’m sorry I can’t remember you,” Leo says. “Do you think we can be friends?”

Hongbin shakes his head in disagreement.

******

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and you're done! thank you SOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSO much for reading this. I would love to get a review and any feedback possible. Leave kudos please and i love you! so much! support vixx!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
> if you're in your feels: https://open.spotify.com/user/laurbina04/playlist/1jnSIWMsfVJyeGDGM88ApN  
> find my on twitter!!: @oddsensist


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